What exactly is safe to do now?
Posted by: allalong ()
Date: December 19, 2019 09:11AM

I was in two "light cults/cultish groups--one for 3 years and one for 5 years. I lost who I was. I became a robot to their teachings. I could get into it more, but I'm trying to focus on the recovery aspect.

It's been 2 years since I've been part of these groups. I've been working on getting my self back, physically and mentally.

What confuses me is this: What's safe to do? Nothing? Or things in moderation?

1) YOGA - in my recent experience I am learning that yoga is not what it was 20 years ago. I've tried out chanting, kundalini, and one breath work workshop that against the facilitator's wishes I walked out of. These parts of the yoga community were not in my best interest. Too cultish. Also, the popular yoga studios around me seem rather cultish, too. Too much yoga philosophy thrown in, chakras, crystals--just stuff I don't want to be a part of.

2) MEDITATION - I am concerned I'll get too obsessive about it. Should I just avoid it all together, or limit myself? Should I just stick with western teachers like JKZ, or are eastern teachers/apps/podcasts safe?

3) FITNESS - But even that can be cultish. I want to stay away from Cross Fit type groups

4) PEOPLE- I want to get a job where I won't have co-workers trying to bring me to Landmark (saved by Rick Ross's website 15 years ago), Kabbalah, or other cult like groups masquerading as spiritual, religious, self-improvement, personal development, etc.

5) SPIRITUALITY - Is this even possible to do safely, or should I know better and avoid it entirely? Are there any safe authors to read or follow, or do I just donate my books? I see now how ET, BK, and many others are not safe to read and follow. But what about The Dahli Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh, Pema Chodron, Brene Brown, etc.

6) MINDFULNESS - Can I do this safely without it being cult-like?

7) AROMATHERAPY - Can I just put lavender on my pulse points without buying into all the craziness with the MLM schemes?

I want to stay simple and grounded with whatever self-care practices I do. But I'm scared. I don't which ones are safe, which ones to avoid all together, and with the safe ones, how to do them in moderation?

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Re: What exactly is safe to do now?
Posted by: facet ()
Date: February 07, 2020 06:07AM

Hi allalong,

I note the date on your posts were a while ago and wonder how you’re getting along with this? Did you work something out in the end?

It is not the same for everyone, though for me I had to drop nearly everything. I used how things felt as a guide and gradually worked through things.

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Re: What exactly is safe to do now?
Posted by: allalong ()
Date: February 23, 2020 12:14AM

facet Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi allalong,
>
> I note the date on your posts were a while ago and
> wonder how you’re getting along with this? Did you
> work something out in the end?
>
> It is not the same for everyone, though for me I
> had to drop nearly everything. I used how things
> felt as a guide and gradually worked through
> things.


Hi farcet,

Thank you for your reply. It's very kind of you to check in. I apologize in advance if my tone sound curt--it's not my intention. I'm just feeling frustrated, confused, lost. I didn't work out anything. I don't know how to. I'm still stuck with what to do. I'm not doing any of these things anymore for fear I'll get caught in something unsafe again.

I am utterly confused, because these things are supposed to help my anxiety and depression.

I do appreciate your suggestion to see how things feel as a guide and gradually work through them. Can you give me an example? I could do this by trying out a new yoga class. However, it's the exact design of these sort of practices that make you not check in with your gut, no? In the middle of chanting a mantra, how do you check in with your gut, for example? I'm sorry for the confusion but I think I need clarification--maybe I'm just overthinking here I don't know.

Are there any things you have found to replace these things?

Thank you again.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/23/2020 12:17AM by allalong.

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Re: What exactly is safe to do now?
Posted by: facet ()
Date: February 23, 2020 04:51AM

Hi allalong,

Thank you for posting, especially when not feeling so great. I really appreciate that you’ve checked back.

It’s not easy at all is it? I hope that you’re taking good care of yourself through how you’ve been feeling. Everything you describe is completely relatable.

It may not work for everyone, but For me, I made sure that I was my very best friend despite all of the various emotion and feeling states that arose.

I did not replace anything straight away as such, I just quit entirely and did some gradual self reflection on what my healthier sense of self (identity, who you are, etc) consisted of before all of this sort of stuff. I even looked at what I enjoyed doing as a child.

So, it was to do choose from and do these things that I used to like to do, eat, wear, buy, even if it goes against the programming from any sort of lineage or teachings etc.

Whatever you may have been a fan of beforehand, music, art, a hobby, learning (languages, or something like that), filling your space and focus on those things could be extremely helpful.

Whilst I would not like to give off that we humans are any sort of machine (because we’re not) I’d say that it is a bit like re - installing yourself, though you’ve got the most up to date security system going, meaning no more invasion of others agendas - aka cults.

If the yoga (or anything else) does not feel right to you, you have to listen to yourself definitely, do you think you might give it a go?

From what I have now learned, the mantra chanting or japa is getting self into a hypnotic state, so you’re spot on !

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