Certainly my reaction to the video of "Forever Sensei" reminded me of that. This was not simply a reaction to PR either. I cannot deny that for the better part of 21 years many of the leaders, members, activities and even the publications(prior to about 5 years ago) provided me with a lot of encouragement. I buried relatives, prayed for successful medical operations for loved ones, faced termination at work due to my own errors, struggled with my demons which came in so many guises internally and externally. Through all of these experiences many leaders and members were there for me and so were the gosho and articles in the pubs. Consequently, I cannot call SGI evil, despite some of its problems. I hope that you do not take all of this the wrong way. It is not my intention.
I think its easy to explain this phenomena. I by no means believe that SGI was 'a pure force of good' at any time in its history (a read over Toda and Ikeda's speaches from the 50's and 60's reveal that) but certainly from its creation up until maybe 5 - 10 years ago it was
spreading Nichiren buddhism and buddhism in general. A doctor who is greedy, self interested and arrogant will still cure many people of diseases and ailments.
SGI was introducing many people to Nichiren buddhism, which (although I wouldn't consider myself a practicing Nichiren buddhist) I believe can be profoundly benificial to a person who practices it correctly
I don't mean 'correctly' in regards to which sect they join or which colour robes they wear, but by the state of mind they are able to foster and the decisions they make in their lives.
I think thats the only meaningful distinction that can be made. Yes you had many wonderful, comforting, happy experiences while you were in SGI, but they stemmed from buddhism, not SGI. The events of the last 5 years surely prove that? I believe there will still be many people in SGI who think it has a lot to offer and brings them benefit and happiness. But its the buddhism they are holding on to, while SGI itself tries to pull it away.
You mentioned in another post you were happy to see the youth in the RTE videos, looking so happy and joyful, and you wouldn't want to take that away from them. There's two points I would say about that. Firstly, would you be supportive and pleased for someone who was blindly walking towards the edge of a cliff, with a happy smile and hope in their eyes as they believed they were walking towards a calm, beautiful place?
Secondly, I'm no psychiatrist, but it seems you did have a a lot of happy times when you were in youth division. Do you think your judgement of the present circumstances could be clouded by your own experiences, in an almost sentimental way?
I hope I don't come across as harsh or too personal here, just want to help.