C H A N G E D

P.S.

From the same source mentioned above (I think), the Grills are apparently residing somewhere in Arizona, just within reach of California, but enough out of reach of the law to require extradition (?).

(Pure speculation.)

I think the Sayers are moving to Arizona, too.

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8/26/2019: 1,274,952

8/26/2020: 2,078,497

"Don't tell me you're gonna go out and become a f*cking musician. That's not who you are."
-Pastor Craig

A post by TheyCalledmeJonah from January of 2018:

Posted by: TheycalledmeJonah
Date: January 04, 2018 03:10PM

Hey All,

I've been a lurker for many months now, and I finally got an account. I'm hoping I can add a bit to the conversation since I have only very recently left the church. In fact, this Sunday will be my first time going to a non-TLWF church on my own accord. I am a young man in my mid 20's who has attended Shiloh for the last 8 years and also attended the church recently opened in North Liberty, IA.

I was born into the church in San Diego, and moved to Shiloh when I was 17. I finished up my last year of High School at Midprairie in Wellman, IA right next to Kalona. I've really appreciated being able to read all of your posts here. It really helped open my eyes to things that non of the congregants ever hear - The faults of the leadership.

As I grew up in the Shiloh church from a teenager to an adult, I would spend a lot of my time helping out with maintenance, music, and other work day activities. I would talk to Craig and Phyllis about things in my life and they would give their "input." A lot of the time, I would disagree with their input and end up doing it anyway because I was out here in Iowa alone, away from my family. They were really the closest thing to family I had for a while. If I disagreed with them, I was afraid that I would lose that sort of closeness.

Submitting relationships was really hard for me. I would talk to them if I wanted to take someone out on a date and they would say "Sure go out and have fun, but just stay friends." I would "hang out" with a person for months on end without it ever going anywhere because I would "Keep it just friends" until I lost interest in them and cut it off. That was always super unnatural. Luckily, I met my current girlfriend 9 months ago (when I was still attending Shiloh) and decided not to submit it, and she is amazing!

Also, sorry if this seems like rambling (it is)

This last summer I was already super burnt out with Shiloh because they had things going on at Shiloh constantly and I didn't have time to go do fun stuff that I wanted to do. There has been a lot of work on the Shiloh Cemetery (which is now called the Memorial Park). I'd get asked constantly to work all day on a Saturday and you say yes, because you don't feel the freedom to say no, even when pastors and leaders are constantly saying "Don't do anything if you feel obligated."

I know this complaint may bounce right off you all here because I know that the working conditions that you all experienced was probably much more severe.

I also started to wake up to the fact that I had a lot of differences in opinion than the majority of the church. The church is strictly conservative, and I have primarily democratic beliefs. I laugh every time I remember when Craig said in front of the church,

"Trump announced that today is the national day of prayer. You can say what you want about the guy, but when something happens, he turns to prayer"

That's such obvious bullshit, I can't believe he fell for that. Obvious PR move.

Also, this last summer camp, Gary H brought a word where he talks about how he is not ready to drink the cup that sits before him. He spoke about how Jesus was able to drink the cup that the Lord put before him, but Gary was not ready. Then at a shabbat the following Friday, everyone was prophesying things like "We prophecy we drink the cup! We are ready to drink the cup!" and I was stunned. I looked around the room and thought "Did anyone listen to anything Gary said? He said he wasn't ready... why are you saying the things that you're saying? Do you even know what you're saying?"

I'm going to keep rambling on...

Another motive for me to not be associated with this church was the thing of control...

I was talking to Craig about a band that I was going to start playing with, and he said "Don't tell me you're gonna go out and become a fucking musician. That's not who you are." This really fucked with me. He obviously didn't want me spending time outside of Shiloh.

Anyway, I moved away from Kalona in October to Coralville, which is closer to my job, and further away from Shiloh. I feel so free, but I'm having to make some new friends because I just don't see the other ones who are in the church as much.

If any of you want to know about anyone or anything in the modern TLWF churches, feel free to ask.

Thanks

Posted by: Reepicheep
Date: January 04, 2018 06:47PM

Welcome, TheycalledmeJonah! Good for you! Many people who post here are very regretful that they didn't see the light and leave TLWF while they were still young. I think it's rather interesting that Craig told you that being a musician is not you. That takes some colossal nerve, if you ask me. I don't know you, but IMO the leaders in TLWF only know what they WANT to know about the members. I was in the fellowship for forty years, and there many things no one knew about me. They only know the follower side, the submissive side, the subservient side that reflects back to them what they expect from you and want to see.

You didn't say if your family is still part of the San Diego church. Hopefully, they will be supportive of you either way. That must have been hard for you, being in Shiloh without them while you were still in high school.

Many happy returns for a great new year of finding out more about you and who you want to be in this world.

Posted by: puddington
Date: January 04, 2018 11:48PM

Welcome Jonah. Welcome to freedom. And welcome to your new life.

TheycalledmeJonah wrote:
I laugh every time I remember when Craig said in front of the church,
"Trump announced that today is the national day of prayer. You can say what you want about the guy, but when something happens, he turns to prayer."
That's such obvious bullshit. I can't believe he fell for that.

I hear he does all of his praying at the golf course. :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/28/2020 08:35AM by changedagain.

This post by 'I_woke_up' from September of 2018:

Posted by: I_woke_up
Date: September 08, 2018 09:08AM

I grew up and still reside in the small town of Kalona, Iowa (where Shiloh is). I came in to the Fellowship as a young child (my parents and one sibling are still involved). Until I left the organization a couple years ago, it was all I knew. At what point did I realize I was in a cult? I started questioning things when I started seeing a therapist for a health issue. Whenever I discussed comments I was receiving from “church” my therapist (who was Christian) would say “tell me again, what kind of church is this?” “I’m a Christian, and I don’t believe that.” I feel naive saying this now, but I was like “Really? You mean, my pain isn’t caused because I don’t pray hard enough?” (yes, I was told that!)

In addition to therapy, I was prescribed meditation as a means to deal with my chronic pain. During one of my meditations, I had a profound spiritual experience. Well, my naive self thought who better to talk to about a spiritual experience than ones pastors? I couldn’t have been more wrong. I don’t know what I was expecting… validation, maybe? Instead, I got what I will call a “deer in headlights” reaction. I really don’t remember all of what was said but I do remember how they made me feel! Like shit!!! I don’t think they had any idea what I was talking about.. I regretfully assumed, as “pastors” they would probably have had similar experiences and could relate. NOPE! I left feeling like, something must be wrong with me. To be perfectly honest, I was so brainwashed with this “elemental spirit” shit that I thought maybe I was crazy and “tapped” into something weird.. My husband (who didn’t grow up in TLWF) was my saving grace. He said, “are you kidding? I’ve never seen you happier!” He encouraged me to keep doing whatever I was doing because I was happy! Believe it or not, this had never occurred to me. Follow happiness? What? Really? I can do that?

The more I “followed my heart” (sounds cheesy but true) the more I was like, “I never believed most of this stuff anyway!” Why am I still going? Pain can be a funny thing. It’s a sure fire way to get rid of the “SHIT” in your life. Now.. I’m grateful for it.

Oh, I forgot to add.. During all this.. when planning a dinner out with the lead pastors of Shiloh, my husband was going to send the pastor’s wife a meeting request and she told him, “I don’t want your shit on my calendar.”

Sincerely,

I_woke_up

I'm making my way through these post (slowly) and there is a lot of reference to a now defunct factnet.org. Does anyone know if that conversation moved elsewhere?

baldwookie Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm making my way through these post (slowly) and
> there is a lot of reference to a now defunct
> factnet.org. Does anyone know if that conversation
> moved elsewhere?

Hi baldwookie,
I think most of what was written in that forum has disappeared from the internet. Looking back, I consider it the wild west of cult discussion. My username at that time was Lamp from Ikea. Larry Bobo's username was Larry Bobo. I'm not sure who else in this group participated on Factnet. I do sorta miss it in a masochistic way ;)



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/29/2020 12:12AM by changedagain.

What rankles 'that little red flag'...posted in March of 2019:

Posted by: that little red flag
Date: March 20, 2019 09:33AM

While we are on the subject, you know what really rankles me?

JRS, Gary, Marilyn, Rick, and others getting away with lying, abuse of clergy, cover-ups, deception, offerings, sexual misconduct, multiple affairs, bad stewardship of funds, breaking up marriages, abandoning children, etc., etc., ad nauseam without any accountability.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/29/2020 10:06PM by changedagain.

A summary of a message Gary brought some months before the exposure of years of sexual abuse within TLWF (and its coverup) went public. It would be reasonable to assume this is a veiled threat toward those who believe the "lies"...implying that God will remove the "covering from their lives, " which could ultimately lead to their death. BTW, since leaving the fellowship in '98, I've always sensed it was much more dangerous to remain a part of it, given the indifference of leadership to the plight of those they were supposed to 'shepherd.':

Our Survival Is Based On Obedience
June 29, 2018 - by Gary Hargrave

"This Word shows us that as we move out of a place
of relative safety in our walk with God and into
harm’s way, our obedience to the Father will
determine life or death. We will face lies about
the Word of God and against the Father Himself
which will attempt to deceive us into being
disobedient and losing God’s protection.