Onion Wrote:
> THANK GOD our prayers were
> ignored. Sickens me now.

Yes

NickleandDimed:

I agree that you are most likely here to make trouble, apologize for predatory leaders and spin for them.

Otherwise you are an Internet troll who feeds on conflict and likes to attack people and start arguments to disrupt threads because you have nothing else to occupy your time.

You are very close to be being banned from this message board.

I have deleted one of your recent posts attacking someone here.

The next time you attempt to do this you will be banned.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/08/2018 01:20AM by rrmoderator.

To whom it may concern:

Please don't bother to respond to NickleandDimed personal attacks as they will be deleted.

If there are any further problems with NickleandDimed let me know.

Cloudwatcher & Changedagain - I agree but I am stumped about how to dribble in my soup or how to find a cuckoo's nest. Can you help?

The LW leadership (my local pastor) used shame and bullying. To control me. When LW apologists post. Many on this board. Including me. Accuse them of shaming us. We were hurt. So we strike back. IMO I was more controlled by bullying and shaming than by brainwashing. That's my perspective. You don't have to agree with it. But you don't have to shame me. Because I have a different perspective.

Brene Brown, a shame researcher, defines shame as "the intense painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging. We are probably wired to feel shame because it keeps us in line with the rules of our society. When we break or flaunt the rules, we may be ostracized, which could mean death or at the very least, disconnection, which can feel worse than death. So the reason that shame works so well is because we're wired to connect to and to seek acceptance from others, and shame effectively withdraws that acceptance and connection. Shame can embed itself in us deeply. Shaming words may never be forgotten, and shaming others, though it may be effective for behavior change, damages them and lowers us in their esteem. Who wants to be around someone who tries to make them feel ashamed?

I started to think about how shame has worked in my life, incidents where I felt shamed and where I attempted to shame.

Brown says, "There are many different ways we shame others: Sarcasm, name-calling, expressing disgust, and eye-rolling are all ways we communicate that someone else is not worthy of our respect. Shaming behaviors make us feel superior to that other person, as well as communicate to them that we wish they'd be or act differently, without us having to actually talk to them in an adult way and take responsibility for our own feelings. The same way teasing is so often rooted in hostility, shame takes its energy from judgment and self-righteousness. Shame, in whatever form it takes, is a way to control the other person by using their deeply ingrained need for connection to threaten them with disconnection. It's genius. And nefarious."

"The best weapon against shame is empathy. If we tune in to our empathy, our ability to understand how it might feel to be in someone else's shoes, we can understand how painful it is to hear shaming words. If we've resolved not to cause harm to others, we can use this empathy as a way to turn off the instinct to shame others, and as a reminder to choose kinder words when we need to communicate. We can practice the art of checking our words before speaking them, especially when we feel disgust, anger, or hurt. Are the words we are about to say necessary, helpful, and true? If not, then, with practice, we can choose not to say them, and instead consider what it is that we really want to communicate."

rrmoderator Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> To whom it may concern:
>
> Please don't bother to respond to NickleandDimed
> personal attacks as they will be deleted.
>
> If there are any further problems with
> NickleandDimed let me know.

Thanks for intervening. I appreciate it.

Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Changed - your wit is such a blessing brother.;-)

Thank you, Onion. I try to keep the spirits up of those who have become targets.

p.s. I don't know anything about dribbling in soup or locating a cuckoo's nest. But certainly that day will come. When it does, I hope to post coherent instructions. The key word here is hope :)

NICKLE&DIMED:


Very sorry to hear about your experiences at the hands of those who should have kept hands off.

Everyone willing to post here has had to pass through various levels of trauma in order to arrive on this side of the equation, which is all the more reason why none of us should add insult to injury, but extend grace whenever possible.

I am less than impressed when writings about shame are posted by someone who has FREQUENTLY tried to shame people on this forum. If the soft spot bruised by abuse is most sensitive to bullying and shame, it would seem the victim would be far less apt to bully and shame. There is a disconnect in the posts or maybe it is just the irritatingly inconsistent flow of an identity shared by more than one "seeker of information."

I think it is O.K. to write a song about one of us being a Nephilim, as long as it is motivated by love. That should be the standard.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/09/2018 10:23PM by changedagain.