FCSLC Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My “do over” would be to honor my own opinion,
> capabilities and revelation. Instead of kowtowing
> to self-proclaimed spiritual authorities and
> feeling obligated to respect and regard
> “their” thinking as superior, I would give my
> own Spirit to spirit revelation the priority.
> That would have nipped in the bud the crippling
> need to have a covering of permission from others.
> Just thinking about it makes me want to have
> another shot of whiskey.

Yes
"Let me tell you how you should think about..."
I think that line was in the title of a recent message brought at the valley church. It had to do with the election. How would people possibly know how to think about this momentous event without the pastor laying it out?
Wow...just writing this comment makes me want to have another shot of vodka.

FCSLC/CHANGED & CO:

The tragic irony of the Walk is that instead of fostering a mature individual 'walk with God' as initially advertised, it created a culture of perpetual dependency on someone else's 'walk', which in many cases as noted on this forum, was anything but.

A lot can also be said about our own mindset as 20+ year olds (most of us, anyway), coming out of the roaring 60's with plenty on our plate. We can at least now give ourselves some credit for having seen enough light to find our way out of the darkness that some still find themselves in.

GIVE YOURSELF TO THE LEADERSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!

(oops...sorry for the flashback)

My do-over would be my family. My parents, my siblings and my old close friends. Those relationships were trashed by the LW cult culture. A lot of those loved ones are gone now. For others, it was just too much shunning for them to take from me. Those relationships are permanently damaged. I cry when I think of the wasted years I spent in TLWF.

Sagehen Wrote:
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> > Just so you know, I have had no connection with
> anyone in LW since 1979 but in 1990s once I
> decided I needed Jesus back off the back burner
> for another try I have been actively reading and
> listening to the materials. I just kept believing
> it was a few local pastors etc. not the basic word
> that was very screwed up. Our family was torn
> apart, nothing was as it was.

Good for you Sagehen. Taking a closer look at the LW and the destructiveness, reading the posts and doing your own research.

changedagain Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> FCSLC Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > My “do over” would be to honor my own
> opinion,
> > capabilities and revelation. Instead of
> kowtowing
> > to self-proclaimed spiritual authorities and
> > feeling obligated to respect and regard
> > “their” thinking as superior, I would give
> my
> > own Spirit to spirit revelation the priority.
> > That would have nipped in the bud the crippling
> > need to have a covering of permission from
> others.
> > Just thinking about it makes me want to have
> > another shot of whiskey.
>
> Yes
> "Let me tell you how you should think about..."
> I think that line was in the title of a recent
> message brought at the valley church. It had to do
> with the election. How would people possibly know
> how to think about this momentous event without
> the pastor laying it out?
> Wow...just writing this comment makes me want to
> have another shot of vodka.


Well said. Something that has haunted me (the path not taken) was I was led to the LW through a co-worker. But at the same time there was another co-worker who invited me to join a very small newly formed church. This co-worker was kind of like a mother to me and very kind. When I told her I was going to go with the LW she smiled and commented they are big but lack love. If I could have a do over I wouldn't go with the LW.

puddington Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My do-over would be my family. My parents, my
> siblings and my old close friends. Those
> relationships were trashed by the LW cult culture.
> A lot of those loved ones are gone now. For
> others, it was just too much shunning for them to
> take from me. Those relationships are permanently
> damaged. I cry when I think of the wasted years
> I spent in TLWF.

Ditto. The thing with my mom was in her last years her memory faded (though she always knew who I was) and she stopped being mad at me and our relationship was restored. I am thankful for that. This is really a biggie and I don't care what Gary or the other leaders say, folks in TLWF should think about this.... how they will feel when the ones you've shunned pass away and you never reached out to make amends.

puddington Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My do-over would be my family. My parents, my
> siblings and my old close friends. Those
> relationships were trashed by the LW cult culture.
> A lot of those loved ones are gone now. For
> others, it was just too much shunning for them to
> take from me. Those relationships are permanently
> damaged. I cry when I think of the wasted years
> I spent in TLWF.

Well said--totally relate to this.

lily rose Wrote:

> Ditto. The thing with my mom was in her last years
> her memory faded (though she always knew who I
> was) and she stopped being mad at me and our
> relationship was restored. I am thankful for that.
> This is really a biggie and I don't care what Gary
> or the other leaders say, folks in TLWF should
> think about this.... how they will feel when the
> ones you've shunned pass away and you never
> reached out to make amends.

That was a significant, good decision I made while still in TLWF--to get involved, against my shepherd's will, with both of my parents (divorced) as I saw their health failing. They both died in the same year ('97)--ten months apart, separate locations. There was a peace in our relationship when they passed, since we had hashed things out--so that is one burden I don't carry with me. However, one of my closest relationships in the fellowship I lost because I went with the company line (shunning) when this person took a stand against the G & M directive to continue praying for John after he died. He and his wife wrote separate letters to Apco detailing their objection to this focus, and Gary basically said good riddance. Our families happened to be intertwined at the time, and since they wer no longer on good terms with Apco...based on my the misguided belief that if we didn't do so, we would be 'bonding with unbelievers", and therefore be at odds with God's will (manifesting through G & M). Everyone here should remember the potency of that b*llshit teaching, repeated ad infinitum from the pulpit, about not being bonded with "unbelievers"--right? Anyway, I happened to see this old friend at a gas station, of all places, perhaps five years after the split. He saw me, called out my name, and at first I didn't recognize him. He was thin and gaunt--obviously very ill. We engaged in a brief, but warm & friendly conversation, not bringing up the obvious health issue--and it was readily apparent neither one of us had ill feelings toward the other. Once we went our separate ways I was surprised by how open/gracious he had been toward me. Anyway, some months after our chance meeting, I found out somehow that he had died (brain cancer). The news completely shook me. Later, I took some comfort in knowing that there was no issues we had toward each other when he passed, but it didn't compensate for knowing what the loss would mean for his family (wife and six kids), and the fact that I had allowed dogma destroy a meaningful relationship. Devastating. I subsequently wrote to his wife apologizing for my behavior, and she was gracious and understanding. Of course, I should have left the fellowship then. But I stuck with it for seven more years. Getting free from the shackles of that pernicious culture was not easy. I finally left in '98, and have not experienced one day since that I've regretted this decision.

BTW, this person I'm referring to was the lead shepherd in an outlying church ('80-'83). We worked together in the church, and socialized outside of it. He was really too decent and compassionate to thrive long-term in TLWF.

Leaders in tlwf seldom voice regrets.

Even more rarely do they ever offer to anyone a sincere, heartfelt, true apology.

And making amends to those wronged seems to be unheard of.

One thing that has become real to me is that upon leaving, I became a living indictment against all the wrongs suffered over 25 years. 20+ yrs after my departure, that is far more true of me than ever. (As my member name implies, "he's healing.")

I believe it may be likewise true of many members here, that some of you are living indictments before Him of tlwf's atrocities. If you have a true sense of that, it will embolden you + your healing will be accelerated.