relative of (maybe) ex-cult member and I'm finding it hard to let go of certain emotions
Posted by: liv ()
Date: February 02, 2021 11:16PM

My brother in law (brother of my husband) and his spouse were both pretty deep into NXIVM to the point where I spotted the footage in one of the documentaries in an apparently small circle meeting sitting at Raniere's right.

I won't explain too much because this post would get too long and I don't want to make it too tiresome for everybody.

So, fast forward to today. They may or may not be still in the cult. Given that the organization is greatly diminished and there seems to only be a few die hard members still publicly active. And also, my BIL shared a youtube link from another cult-y guy called Shunyamurti from Sat Yoga Ashram.

Nobody in the family talks about it and I am quite frankly several degrees of separation from the "epicenter", since I'm not really an immediate family member. But I find it hard to let go of feeling betrayed. I used to really like my BIL, we connected at an intellectual level since we were both interested in topics like sociology, philosophy or just general random stuff. I felt like with him I didn't have to explain a lot of background before going into a stimulating discussion that would push my own opinions and thoughts further.

But then he was gradually changing to the point where he was not the same person (and not in the best way). It would feel that he was very condescending and overly proud. If I argued any of his points he would just basically disregard the argument in a very "you're just unaware/ignorant/blind" vibe. Once in a very public conversation during Xmas time, he was just very insisting on how murder being morally wrong was just society's artificial rules (that there is nothing wrong with murder) and insisted on this until it just turned out into a full on fight.

Of course he did all the promoting the "Executive Success Programs" to all of us, our friends, relatives and acquaintances as well. But that's beyond the point.

My own problem is, it has been hard for me to get past my own feelings and not judge him, his spouse and my FIL and MIL, who defend him of course. And it's affecting the way I relate to my husband's family.

I appreciate any advice but I would also thank you for listening/reading.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/02/2021 11:34PM by liv.

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Re: relative of (maybe) ex-cult member and I'm finding it hard to let go of certain emotions
Posted by: braveheart64 ()
Date: April 16, 2021 06:21AM

dear you are not alone! i also go through those feelings , i have a good day one day and the next im mad as hell and want revenge . i have been physically , mentally , financially and check all the above way , and YES ! it messes with your head :( the only advice i can give you is how i get through this ONE DAY AT A TIME SWEET JESUS , i do not know your situation but i can really relate i live next to a family that was very close to me and my husband ,but their church leader has turned in to a Jim Jones ! he controls them in every way and they have given that greedy old bastard more money than he deserves , they live in a tiny shed with 5 kids 5 ! the mother is so brain washed that she cant even take care of the new puppy they got the daughters , i have to feed it and it has found a new home with us , it dug a hole to get into my dogs fence cause it too is alone ! so now i have this little orphan puppy that not even this family can take care of ?

They were at our wedding We knew them 11 years ! And that Old man is so greedy and manipulative that he thinks hes Jesus the Messiah !
They dont talk to us NO more or come around to have tea with us
they are so isolated that they are in a virtual prison . all i can do i pray for them , hold them and the good memories in my heart , and let it go
they think we are Evil and they are the ones that are being Used and Abused

Mental manipulation has been around for Decades ! even in the Times of hitler and the David burg Cult was a living hell disguised as love

talk to people , share how you are feeling so others can relate ,Dont let those people win !

Get Educated , and share the heck out of this site that how we fight fire with fire with love , stealth style ,

EDUCATION ! and what Rick Ross has taught me also has been a Blessing
i was also in the HRM Cult that was teaching kaballah ! that was a freaking nightmare but thanks to Rick i found out and Ran the Hell out of that church

Grandma who was a old fashioned bible believing gal . said these words i will never forget

keep your friends close and your ENEMIES Closer !
and she was not kidding either !

Hope you can find some peace knowing your not alone
have a blessed day

:( feeling your pain but the heart does heal in time

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