No I did not tell them I would drop it and I did not sign anything. In fact, I told them I was not making any promises of confidentiality and that I reserve the right to tell my story by whatever means I chose. I am aware that Jason was acting in the best interests of HAI and does not care about me. I cannot get them to understand that the way they reacted to the sexual assault-kicking me out of the Ohio community while leaving the perpetrator in and forbidding staff members to talk to me- hurt me worse than the assault did. Paul Black, who was in charge of the event, told Jason he didn't believe me and that was enough for Jason, even though Paul was not in the same room as me. Jason took no action for 19 months but suddenly became interested when an east coast staff member told him I was planning to go public. I had taken levels 1-3, which I liked, and was not prepared for this violation and betrayal. If they had immediately supported me l don't think I would feel so traumatized 2 years later. I also had people sending me discouraging texts and suddenly snubbing me at public events. I tried pressing charges but Jason stated he wouldn't support me if I continued with pressing charges. In the end, Jason "supported" me by kicking me out of the community. Nineteen months later he contacted me and wanted to use mediation, the only outcome is that Paul, Mo, and Eve would have to go through training on dealing with traumatized persons before they could serve on team again. He did make a public apology to me. Paul, Mo, and Eve have never apologized. Oh and perpetrator Jim is not allowed to attend HAI events. There were so many HAI apologists out earlier in this forum, wonder where they ate now?

Also, HAI is allegedly developing a sexual assault protocol. The mediator emailed me yesterday and told me she would no longer be able to talk to me if I was condemning of certain individuals in HAI because "HAI is very important to her.". Objective much? Currently HAI's sexual assault protocol is to blame the victim and use her confidences against her. Love, love, love

"I tried pressing charges but Jason stated he wouldn't support me if I continued with pressing charges...
... the only outcome is that Paul, Mo, and Eve would have to go through training on dealing with traumatized persons before they could serve on a team again."

In reading this, even in the last part where they give some pretense of addressing it, they try make it appear as if you were the problem, while completely ignoring what was done by your assailant.

This seems to be the typical mentality. I understand how they want people to "let go" of unpleasant experiences, but some things really have to be dealt with before you can, or even should, let go of them. These groups love to talk about accountability, but they only seem to require it of normal, law-abiding people. Rapists, liars and thieves get away with whatever, while the victim is held accountable and judged for their reaction. It's a sick mind game, where ethics are turned upside down.

You need to contact a lawyer and not be concerned if these HAI support that decision or not. You need to handle what happened to you the correct way- starting with a meeting with an attorney.

I think you called it right, kdag. Actually, crback22, I "need" to do what feels right to me. The reason that I dropped the charges 2 years ago is that I found the process overwhelming and demeaning. Like many police departments, the Walton Hills, Ohio PD are not enlightened in the way they treat sexual assault victims. I am not going to the expense of a lawyer just to retraumatize myself. What I am going to do is put the truth out there about the kind of organization HAI is under the leadership of Paul Black, Mo Fritz, and Eve Baird. All the training in the world is not going to change the fact that they care about nothing except their own positions of status. i "need" to focus on what is most healing for me.

To the person who private messaged me to contact an evangelical Christian ex cop, I am not interested. I grew up in an abusive evangelical home and am not interested in trading one cult for another. I came onto this site to warn people about HAI, not to become part of your agenda.

How ironic, Jason's mediator wants me to switch therapists now that my anger is focused on HAI and not myself. (Sarcasm.) Paul Black, Mo Fritz, and Eve Baird are angry that their names have been made public. The mediator thinks I should be completely over it by now-she would know, being a lawyer and a "life coach.". Hmm, do you think anything self serving is going on? It feels like she is trying to brainwash me. My therapist says not to talk to her anymore.

I just feel so angry. Jason Weston tells me that I can go back into HAI in another community as long as I talk to him and mediator first. So I should want to go back into an organization that allowed me to be sexually assaulted? And I should have to clear it with Jason, who kicked me out and left the offender in? How sick is this?

That is definitely messed up. Your therapist sounds like a good and wise person, I'm glad you have someone helping you deal with things. Fwiw, I am so sorry that this happened to you and that they, HAI, are treating you like trash. You are not worthless and you don't deserve this, you are a strong and brave person - good for you dealing with it in your own way, don't let them tell you when you should be over it. Some things we never really get over, but even if you do, you deserve better than what they are offering. Sounds like you know that, so stick to your guns - you are in the right and they are being disgustingly awful to you. Hugs if you want them, wish you all the best!

Oh my god, thank you for this. I was feeling suicidal. Mediator threatened me today stated she would not "support" me if I don't keep quiet about HAI. I posted a review of them on Facebook. I did that after waking up from a nightmare about what happened. I am having to leave the city I live in because of them.