Dear Chastain,
I'm sorry to hear about your girlfriend. It wasn't PSI, but rather a LGAT called "The Release Technique" that my husband went to. He came back a different person. I have found that although the specifics differ from program to program, the basic techniques of LGAT's and destructive groups are remarkably similar so I encourage you to read around under different topics. (Your girlfriend learned how to "shift", my husband learned how to "release".) I would also encourage you to share your concerns with her friends and family and educate them about mind control techniques so they can help her.
Likely your girlfriend's "spiritual" connection with the guy from the seminar has as much reality behind it as the rest of the program.
[i:b2f5af0fc1]I cannot overemphasize the importance of your approach. [/i:b2f5af0fc1]When my husband went to the seminar but I knew nothing about how these mass marathon trainings work. I blew it big time in the beginning by blasting my husband with an onslaught of critical information, thinking I could make him see what was going on. This was definitely not helpful and drove him further in. Then I took some time to educate myself and change my approach and it seems to be helping.What has been helpful is :
* to remain consistently loving and concerned
* to keep or re-establish rapport
* to shift the focus from "getting him out of the group" to empowering him to think for himself.
* when he uses thought stopping cliches or group jargon, ask for clarification of what that means
* ask open ended questions and be prepared to wait a long time for an answer
* getting him out of town for a time to break the daily interaction with the group
Here are some articles I have found helpful about the tactics generally.
[
www.icsahome.com]
[
rick-ross.org]
Below are some resources I have found helpful. Best of luck to you.
Mr. Ross has great coping tips. [
www.culteducation.com]
The family connection
[
www.freeminds.org]
Steve Hassan
[
video.google.com]
[
www.freedomofmind.com]
Here is a post from these boards under the topic Landmark that I have found very helpful:
Ether Dragon,
Sorry to hear about what happened with your wife. This is very sad and your feelings/reaction are normal. It sounds like your wife is still on the initial "high" from the Forum, and this will be an exciting time for her and a difficult time for you. It's like a drug and they don't want to let go of it and right now Landmark can do no wrong. She has a coach and a new family of self-affirming friends that praise her every move and word. It's addicting -- and Landmark knows it.
This self-affirming atmosphere is why debating her doesn't work. It just drives them deeper into Landmark's grasp. It's human nature to move towards approval, and I believe Landmark counts on that. I know it's hard not to debate and tell her the truth you know, but she is resistant right now. They are trained to resist debate especially from concerned loved ones/friends/etc. and they are trained well. Her coach will keep re-affirming Landmark philosophy to her, so they have an internal support system. It's infuriating, but that's the reality.
The best advice I can give is that which I received: be supportive of her activities outside of Landmark, don't debate or argue with her about Landmark now, let her bring up the subject and when she does, gently discuss your concerns with her. Essentially, back off and wait for her to come down off the high and for the resistance to weaken some. Be prepared for "blocking" techniques that dismiss your information (you can search the board for more info on that). You have to be a welcoming place, or she won't want to come back and discuss it with you. If and when she wants to leave, then you'll be there and able to help her. Until then, you just have to stay in the game. She may never be ready to leave, in which case at some point you have to decide how much of this you can take. You have to take care of yourself too and not be a martyr. Unfortunately, the road out of Landmark is a lot longer and more uncertain than the road in.