Quote
MacReady
Has anyone here heard their loved ones refer to their pre-UM selves as a "mask" that they were wearing? According to one of the people I know involved in UM, the happy, exuberant person she used to be was nothing more than an act; a "mask", and the superstitious, anxious, neurotic, frequently miserable person she has become as a result of Serge's indoctrination is her "true self".
I'm just wondering whether this is an idea that Serge has explicitly verbalized to the entire group or whether it's simply one individual's interpretation of the effect of his 'teachings'.
Yes, its a common term they use. My ex partner told me at length how she had always worn a mask and played "roles". She told me how she only now was being "authentic"-
this is typical cult member behavior from what I have learned speaking to ex members of UM and other groups. They are told that they were in illusion before, hence why they felt confused, unsure, anxious, empty, not always full of love (ie, how life really is) and that now they are being true, themselves, authentic, real, loving (ie, under the spell of a group)
What is happening I am told is that they adopt the persona that is idealized to them, and of course all their doubts and anxieties go away because they don't have to think about it. Serge calls his 'doing the work" "livingness" "being esoteric"
Serge definitely tells them it is a mask they were wearing, along with roles. My ex told me that our love wasn't based on true love but neediness (because we liked and wanted to be around each other I think) and that she was only 'playing a role' as a wife/mother. It seems that you score brownie points and are really considered to be doing the work if you can 'reset' your relationships. That is force the other one into doing "the work" because they are 'loveless' or leave them because they won't.
And Yes I agree. My ex used to be sexy, funny, spontaneous, truthful, lovely. Now as a "student" she is ashen, cold, aloof, unresponsive, walks and acts like a other woman in the group, underweight, vindictive and above all in denial at the expense of everything else. I much preferred her 'mask' even if she felt insecure having to work it out for herself.