Beware of the Waiting Game

Dont let anyone habitually keep you waiting, whether it is a potential date, or a guru. It may be that some abusive people use this as a subtle test to see who will put up with their games and who has enough self respect to remove themselves from the scene.

Worse, if you let someone keep you waiting, you signal you are willing to accept whatever abuse they dish out. In some cases, it may even be an opening move in Guru Theatre.

The Waiting Game may be a subtle and effective test, a way to identify submissives, and annoy and drive away self respecting people who dont tolerate bad treatment.

People who leave, and refuse to be kept waiting, have enough self respect that an abusive guru doesnt want them.

He (and in some cases, she) wants the ones who submit to The Waiting Game. From that pool of people the guru or rinpoche can then look for the rich people and the pretty, but insecure ladies.

First and foremost--it is insulting to keep people waiting for hours.

Maharishi Mahesh Yogi pulled this stunt.

But not all teachers do.

Once, I attended a 2 day series of lectures by the Dalai Lama. He started each talk on time. Both days we had a generous 90 minutes for lunch, giving plenty of time to eat at restaurants outside the lecture hall. So one cant use Tibetan culture as an excuse. The DL figured out what was polite in western culture and respected our time.

In many cultures, keeping people waiting is strategic. It is a way to assert domination rank and social superiority. The longer you are kept waiting the lower your ranking in the social scale.

Keeping people waiting is an act of despotism and signals the extent to which the latecomer outranks you.

If you allow yourself to be kept waiting you signal you have accepted the role of the dependent, the underling, the peasant.

And if you put up with this, too many times, you risk thinking as a peon and forget you are a citizen of a participatory democracy.

If Indians or Tibetans witness westerners being kept waiting by a guru, many of them may be quite amused--and take good care to keep it to themselves. It is great fun to witness westerners dressing up in Indian or Tibetan costume and acting like grovelling flunkies.

Anyone who keeps you waiting--follow the 20 minute rule. If they are that late, leave. You'll lose your own core if you put up with that crap.

Thanks Corboy. Everyone at Rigpa should read the material you have posted here. BTW -- Andrew Harvey did not assist Sogyal -- he wrote The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. As mentioned in this thread -- Christine Longaker had the idea, Patrick Gaffney assembled the material and Harvey wrote the book. Soggy is barely literate. He's a good actor and can memorise his lines nowadays, although in times past he needed a prompt. Soggy spends his down time ( he's bone lazy and has lots of it) fornicating, eating, drinking, smoking, watching porn and cartoons and having his *dakinis* fetch and carry for him 24/7.

Corboy YES! Re The Waiting Game -- I endorse every word of this common sense. I will try to make it available to the Rigpa people one way or another.

Hmm.

Here is a matter that all misbehaving male gurus had better contemplate.

Laziness, overeating, smoking and drinking are all risk factors for aggressive cardiovascular disease.

They're also risk factors for Type 2 diabetes if someone is genetically predisposed.

Excess alcohol screws up liver metabolism and can mess up hormones, causing the much dreaded 'man boobs.'

And...all of these singly or in aggregate, will interfere with the ol' John Thomas being able to stand to attention.

And this kind of trouble cannot be remedied by Viagra or other such drugs. Those drugs only work if a fellow's circulation and cardiovascular health are not already damaged by a well entrenched disease process. In fact, once someone has cardiovascular disease, those drugs are actually counter indicated, as they can trigger a cardiovascular accident.

And, this can also cause brain damage. A formerly cunning charlatan can start losing his or her control over the empire.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/26/2009 11:48AM by corboy.

Hi Corboy -- wise words but I doubt if Soggy would heed them.
He is enormously obese
He already has type 2 diabetes
He is known by some ex dakinis as *weeny peeny* -- apparently there's (er) barely any difference to the ol' JT whether it stands to attention or othewise.
In the light of your payoff line perhaps we should encourage him into even greater self-indulgence -- in the fervent hope that it hastens his exit from the guru (er) gravy train/plane.

An interesting article that seems to fit with our discussion:

[mindrollinginternational.org]

Hi Poodle,
Dzongzar Khyentse is another naughty boy when it comes to exploiting his pulling power with the ladies....but ..he makes some very good points. This is the second time he has delivered an essay on this theme. The first time he was more inclined to blame westerners for their attitudes towards Tibetan lamas. He has softened his stance somewhat.
Something from the outer reaches of the Left Field has come up while updating my Sogyal research. In 1994, shortly after the Janice Doe lawsuit, a letter was received by Tibetan dharma centres across the world purporting authorship by Roger Kellerman, and giving an address in Talmage. California. The other day I set about checking up on him -- and after receiving info from a Californian community forum, I contacted Roger Kellerman by email. He phoned me the next day. It transpires that he wrote a letter and sent it to dharma centres in 1989, but not about Sogyal. It was a denunciation of Thomas Rich aka Osel Tendzin -- Chogyam Trungpa Rs Regent -- who knowingly infected several people with AIDS. Roger Kellerman denies emphatically that he wrote a letter about Sogyal. Its worth noting that Roger is an Englishman and a former Buddhist monk who has lived in a dharma community in Talmage, CA for about 30 years. I guess this represents an early example of identity theft. It is also rather murky.....and would be more so were it not for the fact that the information about Sogyal in the "Kellerman letter" is accurate. Can anyone here throw any light on this?

Hello again,
A relatively new blog called Dialogue Ireland has recently added a comprehensive item exposing Sogyal Lakar as a charlatan and abusive sexual predator. An even more recent item in The Irish Times -- written by a naive and gullible woman who swallowed Rigpa PR in huge mouthfulls-- was reproduced on DI and generated remarkable responses from disaffected former memebrs of Rigpa. The sadness, resentment and confusion expressed by these people is heartbreaking. You can find them at
[dialogueireland.wordpress.com]
Rick Ross has asked me to state that I formerly posted here as Pema. Cyber gremlins got at this identity so I had to invent a new one.

[www.timesonline.co.uk]

Another alert to
[dialogueireland.wordpress.com]
A post from a Rigpa apologist has generated responses from more women with direct experience of Sogyal's abuses.
I expected this to happen here at Rick Ross, but perhaps because it is an American site rather than a European one, there has not been a substantial level of interest. Dialogue Ireland, on the other hand appears to be a magnet. One way or another it now seems clear that the Rigpa spin machine can no longer claim that allegations of Sogyal's persistent sexual misconduct are nothing more than *rumours*.