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2 years ago
figlady
Hi Kalinka, I'm sorry you are going through this but very glad you are reaching out. Are you on Facebook? If so, the group Shades of Awakening – about spiritual emergence(y) – may be relevant for you. They also have a website with a resources page. Also it could be helpful to find a trauma therapist (especially somatically based) or other style therapist who understands this issue. Th
Forum: "Cults," Sects, and "New Religious Movements"
5 years ago
figlady
I enjoyed this article and would be interested to hear people's responses to it. Mostly about Andrew Cohen but talking about the psychology of cults in general.
Forum: "Cults," Sects, and "New Religious Movements"
6 years ago
figlady
I tried the web.archive.org suggestion and it worked! I was able to find most of one of my previous threads.
Forum: Clergy and Therapy Abuse
7 years ago
figlady
Hi and thanks for the support. I didn't get any private message today so perhaps it didn't go through? Or do you mean one from a while ago? I will go check again.
Forum: Clergy and Therapy Abuse
7 years ago
figlady
Quite relevant, I just read this online: from A controlling therapist is too much like the abuser to be helpful. We often threaten survivors when we assume control of the therapeutic process. Many Survivors have been told what to do for much of their lives, and voluntarily surrendering now to the mandates of yet another feels all too often uncomfortably familiar. Survivors need to
Forum: Clergy and Therapy Abuse
7 years ago
figlady
Hi again Hellocat, hope this message reaches you. I started this thread 7 months ago, and I feel closer than ever to leaving this therapist. It's been 3 years now, and I told myself I'd re-evaluate at 3 years anyway. Rereading your posts here, I notice that he fits almost every trait of a bad therapist. I feel kind of sick inside. Like how do I keep ending up in these types of situat
Forum: Clergy and Therapy Abuse
7 years ago
figlady
Wow, inverness, that sounds awful. Have you gone to therapy since then? I can relate to the fear being instilled about making the wrong choices. That just sounds terrorizing. We need to get out from that programming of fear. Glad you got an OK from a doc, that must help. Funny how we can see how messed up a group & leader were, and how they were acting so abusively and immorally, yet sti
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups
7 years ago
figlady
Thanks for responding corboy. I have been thinking about this a lot: the fact that, regardless of how skilled the therapist is or what his/her reputation is, someone who isn't doing client-centered therapy would be a bad idea for anyone coming out of a cult? Too much authority... The idea that I need to be more committed to the therapy in order for it to work and that any complaints I hav
Forum: Clergy and Therapy Abuse
7 years ago
figlady
Hi hellocat, sorry it has taken me so long to respond, but I finally just reread all this again and wanted to communicate where I'm at. Lately I really feel what you have been mentioning about how I feel like it's about time to maybe move on, but I am scared to death because of how dependent I feel on him. Reminiscent of the cult, but I do believe my therapist has good intentions. Al
Forum: Clergy and Therapy Abuse
8 years ago
figlady
Hi again, thank you so much for your replies. I've been out of town and hope to respond soon. Much appreciated, Danielle
Forum: Clergy and Therapy Abuse
8 years ago
figlady
Hi "hellocat," thanks for your reply. It is a lot to digest and I appreciate it a lot. I do have some questions about it so I can better understand where you are coming from, if you have the time: Quotehellocat "if I ever raise questions or express criticism about any aspect of the therapy, he stops me and says that is a defense and that we need to look at why i am so critical,
Forum: Clergy and Therapy Abuse
8 years ago
figlady
Hi everyone, I wanted to open a thread to get some input about a confusing situation I'm in with therapy. About 3 years ago, I left a yoga/pseudo-psychotherapy/religious cult I'd been in for 5.5 years (and this forum helped a lot back then). Soon after leaving, I almost ended up in two other similar situations but realized the mistake before I committed. I finally ended up in
Forum: Clergy and Therapy Abuse
8 years ago
figlady
"Is being naive / wanting to believe the best about people a common characteristic of victims in cults? I'm thinking that there are two types - the naive people, and people who are interested in power / manipulation. Perhaps it's sometimes a combination of both?" For me, I guess I was naive. But I think there was always a part of me that wasn't -- that saw stuff clearl
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups
8 years ago
figlady
grainne uaile, "I also learned how much of a trap it is when a guru or an organization causes you to fear leaving. It seems like many religions do this to one degree or another, but it is done mostly by cults. If a religion does this, my suggestion is to run." Thanks for posting this. It's been 2.5 years since I left a cult and I spent several years longer than I wanted to, o
Forum: "Cults," Sects, and "New Religious Movements"
9 years ago
figlady
I am going through something a lot right now and thought it would be a good time to post something here to see if anyone else can relate or knows of a related thread I could read. When I was in the ashram it was very clear that kids were not welcome, if you were putting Spirituality as your number one priority you had to put Yourself first and that could not involve kids if you were really Com
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups
9 years ago
figlady
Thanks so much corboy, I started reading this and it is so relevant to my experience. Thanks for all the support.
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups
9 years ago
figlady
OK trying again. Yes I got your personal message, I will respond to that too, thanks! About discouraging careers - yeah there were several people in the group who had previous careers who became housecleaners (not that this isn't fine work in itself but... they did have other education). It was good for the flexible schedule I suppose. And also being in the group meant living out in the w
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups
9 years ago
figlady
Hi Pegasus, thank you so much for this reply. I cried when I read it. I wrote a long reply but it got lost so I haven't had time to redo it yet! Just wanted you to know I appreciated your post. <3
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups
9 years ago
figlady
Hi, I was on this board a while ago, having left a cult about a year ago that I was in for almost 6 years. I've gone through different phases and now is coming a new one that I could use some help with. I am 35, having developed no real career because i was doing menial labor and spending several days a week at the ashram. I am finally moving on with my life, going back to school. I sp
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups
10 years ago
figlady
Sallie, Thank you so much for relating to me about your therapist being your best friend for a while. He offers such intimate presence with me and I lap it up, and it feels weird that he is my most intimate connection right now when I know I am just one of many patients of his then he goes home to his loving family... But thanks for helping me accept it the way it is and one day if it is healthy
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups
10 years ago
figlady
Hi everybody, Thanks so much for all the replies. I will write more soon, I just wanted to say now how nice it is to know I am not alone. Love to y'all.
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups
10 years ago
figlady
Hi everyone, This board was helpful to me when I was leaving a spiritual community about a year ago. But there was a lot I didn't know about myself yet! I am back again to get some more help and hopefully one day I will be able to return the favor. Recap, I was in a controlling spiritual group for about 6 yrs and left last April. When I left the group I didn't even realize yet th
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups
11 years ago
figlady
I also just read Take Back Your Life and it was helpful. I wanted to highly recommend the following book for its brilliant insight. I really appreciated the author's point of view. It's called The Wrong Way Home: Uncovering the Patterns of Cult Behavior in American Society by Arthur Deikman.
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups
11 years ago
figlady
Thank you both for your support. It definitely isn't black and white, would maybe be easier if it was... It is hard to separate how I feel about the teachings and the leader, from the desire to be part of a community that is so tight and supportive. It is comforting to know that feeling lonely is actually a predictable, common part of the process that many people go through when in
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups
11 years ago
figlady
Hi, I have been reading some other people's accounts and I thought I would go ahead and share about what I am currently going through. I am grateful to have found this board. For the last 5-6 years I was in a yoga group, small around a dozen people, working very intensively with a yogi in "healing unto God". When I first came to the group I was very sick and had almost died.
Forum: Recovery from Destructive Cults and Groups
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