Hi Amanda, I can see you feel you wasted your time "going to latihan for years" and hoping the latihan would offer you some sort of experience. All I can offer is my own experience, which is not earth shattering by any stretch. Whether it can help you make any sense of this stuff is up to you. By initial experiences were very brief and fleeting, small physical inklings such as a
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

I want to add some final thoughts to my last post. I think the wider issue is religious fundamentalism, taking religious teachings literally instead of allegorically or inspirationally, thinking that adhering to some magical formula will elevate you spiritually now or earn you brownie points in the next life. I don't know if Subud is more prone to this type of thinking than other spiritua
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

I joined Subud 23 years ago, when I was in my early 40s, and am a regular practitioner of the spontaneous moving meditation that Subud members do, called the latihan. I suggest it is up to every individual to figure out if this type of meditation works for them. Just like any other type of spiritual or psychological practise, I think the results depend on your own expectations, and your willingne
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Hi Jupiter, It sounds like our back and forth is stirring up some pretty heavy shit for you. I hope you don't mind me responding from my own perspective. 1) Testing. I do test but I definitely don't think it's anywhere near a special or secret gift. It's something that anyone or any group could do after a minimum of practice. I don't feel it unearths arcane secrets
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Jupiter, I tired to post a message previously, but it seems to have not gotten through so let me try again. I certainly agree that my experience of Subud is far different than yours. My point in describing who I am and my involvement in Subud was to let you know who you are talking to. Let me be very explicit. I do not believe a lot of the Subud crap, and I find a lot of Subud culture t
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Hi Pacifica, My apologies if telling my own story seems too compelling. I bet you've read it several times by now. I tell it here because I want to let Jupiter (and anyone else reading these pages) know where I am coming from, what my own experiences are. Jupiter's experience with Subud is very different from mine in some ways and very much the same in others. If I know where
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Lincoln, You really are angry, and I can understand why from your story - how you tried to be faithful to testing and believe in it, and in doing so ended up being saddled with debt, and feeling stuck with something you don't value. No wonder you are angry. You have a right to be. Not to deny your present feelings, but I wouldn't be too hard on your younger self, who probably want
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Hi Jupiter, All I want to do during the workshop(s) I hope to hold at the World Congress is to speak about my own feelings and needs and ask people to speak about their own. As the workshop chair, I will try and ensure that people speak about their own stuff and refrain from judging others as far as possible. Let me try and give an example. For instance, let's say start with a quote fr
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Hi Jupiter, First, please be assured that I will fully respect your wishes regarding the outside use of your words on this forum, and this goes for anyone who writes here. Secondly, I wouldn't describe the Christchurch Congress as one of the biggest ever to be held. They will be lucky to get 1200 registrations in total. New Zealand is a long way from Europe and North America, expensiv
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Hello to Pacifica and Jupiter. (I've already posted to Lincoln in another thread) I am a Subud member (16 years) who feels the latihan is very worthwhile but wants the Subud organization to take a look at and reform it's culture that encourages and results in tragic results like you have experienced. I plan to attend the Subud World Congress next January and would like to host a w
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families

Hi Lincoln, I live in Ottawa, Canada and am a Subud member in my late 50's who joined about 16 years ago. I am not a cult survivor but I have been troubled about many things in Subud and am becoming increasingly more so. My issues have not been personal (you can find two articles of mine on Subudvision) but I am very concerned, outraged in fact, where I see testing carried to what tur
Forum: Former Cult Members and Affected Families