Friday, May 02, 2008
As long time readers of this board know, I have been having a very hard time maintaining my balance over the years. I was involved in Shoresh Yishai, and Lubavitch and it may seem strange but I have bounced from one bad deal after the other.
The first bad and controlling relationship I had was with my father and his physical and mental abuse of me. I actually got the opinion of 2 lawyers about what to do about it and that will be discussed later on.
Now, you might ask what was done as leveling a child abuse charge is pretty heavy. I am not talking about normal corporal punishment like spanking. My father used to stick pins and needles in my butt to “prove that I am not tough.” He also used to wrench my hands behind my back for the same reason. In addition, he used to form my hands in fists (all of this happened when I was very young) and tell me, “If you want to fight something, go fight yourself.”
He seemed to think that he had the God given right to treat me just as he pleased and he was answerable to nobody. Since he was economically viable and I was just a little boy, he got away with all of this at least up to now.
I actually don’t know where my father got the idea that he could always to this. I know he thought that he had “parental rights” but the Torah, the New Testament and every major religion will tell you that parents have limitations as to what they can do to children. He totally overstepped his boundaries.
I had a very good memory when I was younger. My father used to always try to shake my confidence and he kept telling me to “look it up” when I would explain something to him. He would also ask me, “Are you sure?” Essentially this relationship was a really bad one and I am still recovering from it.
Later on, he wanted to still hit me when I was in my early teens. I got fed up with all of this (but I didn’t relay all the information above) and I went to the local fire department where I was living on LI, NY and told them I needed help.
The fire department told me that I may think that I could do no wrong and they hooked me up with Social Services and they got involved. If they knew about the above incidents they may have taken me from my parents but I didn’t tell them about all the problems. The caseworker told my father that if I were still under the age of puberty, then he would say, “OK, go ahead and hit him. But now that he is a young adult, it is [inappropriate].”
Looking for salvation, I got involved in religion and that led to my Hebrew School days and later on Ben (late Shoresh) Yishai. It was a very vicious cycle. Only recently have I come to higher ground. And Chabad was later on.
The day before my 18th birthday, my father and my mother kicked and punched me down to the floor in the kitchen of the house we lived in. I ran out of the door and went to a house of fellow Ben Yishai members. My father chased after me in his car and told me to get in the car. I just kept going and refused to put myself back in his hands.
I think that I didn’t actually do anything to trigger it. It seems to me that my father simply didn’t want to fund his church going son anymore.
Years later, I was at Long Island University and was a finance major. I had the highest average in the school out of the guys but I was cracking under the strain. My father kept telling me (telegraphing it to me actually) that he was going to mess me up. He kept saying, “Senator Eagleton, I am behind you 1000 percent, 800 percent, …” The senator was a candidate on Walter Mondale’s Presidential ticket. He had psychiatric problems and as such was dumped. My father had his own problems though. Do you see what I am driving at here?
After I finished my junior year at LIU, my father went to Israel to visit his grandson for the first time and he took a 2-week long vacation. His bosses were incensed and after 25 years on the job they fired him.
My father was a poor example. He kept fighting with his bosses for 10 years before they finally told him goodbye.
He didn’t look for work in the States but moved the whole family to Israel. I went in December of ’84. My undergraduate work was finished in Empire State College’s Israel program and when I was looking for a job in finance once the interviewer asked me, “If you are so good, why did you go to a college like that?” I couldn’t win.
Well, I went to graduate school in Israel through an overseas program that Boston University did at Ben Gurion University of the Negev. Some time after I finished the degree, my father grabbed me, slammed me up against the brick wall in our apartment in Israel and I got completely messed up. I lost my ability to think straight and my memory was impaired. I have never recovered.
Later on, I was employed at AT&T. When they fired me, my parents had me over for the weekend. After my father drove me home, he kept talking about his business. When I lost my concentration, he started yelling at me and told me, “I am going to take your dead useless body and throw it in a garbage pail!” This is a father.
Then I was diagnosed with a mental illness. I went to a homeless shelter for a while and then got SSDI benefits. I visited him for about 2 years.
The Division of Vocational Rehabilitation sent me to school for computerized accounting but when I couldn’t find work, my father started abusing me again and I was told to stop going over to his apartment. At this juncture, I haven’t seen my mother or father for almost 10 years. I don’t even know if they are still where they were living years ago and if they are alive and in doors. I think they will just get what they deserve.
I spoke to 2 lawyers over this. One told me that I could win a lawsuit and get about 5K dollars but the second lawyer told me that parents often get away with murder too. The second lawyer ctied the case of Marvin Gaye and how he was murdered by his father and the father got very little time jail. I think the system is terrible and needs to be reformed.
Rabbi Shea Hecht always had an attitude against my father. He always told me that my father’s God is a “little but the dollar bill.” It seems to me that he thought as long as he had the money to support me, I was his captive and he often told me that I am “his slave.”
The problem is that knowing Hecht, he thinks I am just a chip off the old block. And rabbi Yeshua Witt always tried to get me to say nice things about my father but he never heard the whole story. Chasidim have some strange beliefs to my way of thinking.
I will not mention the name of my father until I get clearance from the moderators of this forum. I hope you will let me vent my aggravation. I am 49 years old now and I am still looking for salvation from all of this.
What do you think? I am all ears.

HI Rich, I was at Shoresh also. I thought about suing my mom. She still tries coming to my home to sabotage and destroy any piece of normalcy that I have. You at least graduated from school. I was in all advance classes and an A student when I was only 15. I could have gone to any college. Of course, that would have cost $$$ for ''mom''...so...what did she do? She manipulated a councellor into giving me a Wf for an elective class which I dedided to withdraw from. Wearing a low cut shirt and stroking his thigh was part of the manipulation. I was so devastated. School had always been my ''safe'' zone where I was judged fairly. But whores can get away with anything......anyhow...
that's the smallest example I can give...
There is so much worse...
The worst part is that she manages to do well in this world and make money and con people....
I hear you.
Stuck with pins? Hey....we could swap stories buddies....I got a few sick ones too.

We're not allowed to preach so I will say this delicately .... I believe God loves me. I have a personal relationship with him. That helps me. Then also I just see myself as damaged. Period. Like a person who limps or who is blind or something. I'm missing parents...you know...I'm orphaned and have been beat up on. If I try to view myself as whole and as part of an earthly family it doesn't work. I have no family. Once I accepted that I was able to move on. I don't keep contact with any of what I can my ''birth family''.

The University of Medicine and Dentistry of NJ gave me therapy as per Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The government now knows what my father did to me. He was a very mentally as well as physically abusing parent.

Fight back against mind control, manipulating leaders and those who would exploit you. Take control of your own destiny. Before you get involved with a religious movement, investigate it thoroughly first.

He also played my sister and I against each other. She used to make up lies and tell them to him and I wonder if he beat me over them. He always called me a liar, etc. It seems to me that he should have gotten in trouble with the law years ago.
We used to have an old car in the '60s when my sister and I were kids. She used to always take over the whole seat. She was Daddy's llittle girl so I couldn't complain without him yelling. One day, he got fed up, got duct tape and put it down the back seat of the car saying, "Anyone who crosses the line dies!" They did something like this in the Church of the Holy Sepluchre in Jerusalem.

Fight back against mind control, manipulating leaders and those who would exploit you. Take control of your own destiny. Before you get involved with a religious movement, investigate it thoroughly first.

My nephew just got married and I was not there. My dad used to beat me with a belt that he tied in knots, hit me with his fists, etc. We have to change laws and lobby to stop this kind of abuse.

Fight back against mind control, manipulating leaders and those who would exploit you. Take control of your own destiny. Before you get involved with a religious movement, investigate it thoroughly first.

My father moved the family to Israel in '84 when his grandson was born. My nephew once told me, "My life is all screwed up and I can't unscrew it. I was crying over my nephew. Nevertheless, he perservered and is now a doctor. He went to the Yeshiva U Albert Einstein School of Medicine. From what I know he only knows his Bar Mitzvah portion. I discussed this with Rabbi Fried too. The good rabbi is sympathetic to me. (PS, it came out at Poile Zedek that I have a head for advanced Jewish studies like Mishna and Gemara). It was over this whole thing that my Summa Cum Laude at Long Island University's CW Post Campus was messed over.
Of course he's too busy to even email his Uncle at all. Politically, it was A-OK to trash me because I was was a Christian as a kid, went out with a mix of women religiously and racially. My sister by contrast was in the JDL. She marched on the "Hollywood Nazi" Frank Collins. Got thrown in jail over it too. When she got thrown in the paddy wagon, a police officer thought she was cute and pinched her butt. My father proudly went to Skokie to bail her out. Even my dad later on told me that the JDL was a "paper tiger organization and a hate group."
My sister was a Nazi fighter as a teenager too. We both had a teacher for Social Studies who was a Holocaust revisionist. I ignored him. My sister complained to her dad. He took a large Magen David off the Israeli flag we had in the garage, tied it around my sister's neck and she went off to fight the neo Nazi ,Mr. L. in the 8th grade.
Her first husband also took a naked picture of me and she showed it to me. It is a long story.
My sister couldn't take living at home either. She moved out when she was underage. She also worked in NY before she was of legal age at companies like Alberta Smythe. My sister told me, "When you go looking for a job, lie, lie, lie or you'll get nothing!" She smiled over this. A pretty face can hide an evil mind. Always tell the truth or take the 5th.
When I got my MSM degree I asked my sister if I could go see her old bosses at Alberta Smythe and she told me not to "bother them." I had an advanced degree in business and even my own sister woudn't give me a break. I got one anyway. I lent her some money too once and asked for her to help me out. She told me, "Get a part time job." She always claimed she loved me but I instinctively knew that she was useless to me in my hour of need.

Fight back against mind control, manipulating leaders and those who would exploit you. Take control of your own destiny. Before you get involved with a religious movement, investigate it thoroughly first.

My sister was in the JDL and my dad bugged the phone and made tapes. I got the tape he made when a guy named Craig called up calling her a vile name. Some ahavas Yisroel. And I got my sister's threats that she was going to sick the "Chaya Squad" on me. They all weighed over 300 pounds and some of them were on steriod.
She also threw a suprise birthday party for me when I was 18 in Crown Heights at the Mischell's apartment. Larry Mischel told me, "We want your soul!" They got it and almost destroyed me in '87 and '88. With gratefulness to G-d, I am still alive.
Once when we were kids, she laid down on a bed, grabbed my hands and pullled me over on top of her before, I knew what was going on. And she is going to project successful children into the future.
She used to call me a "sex maniac" but I never did anything until I was married and never had marital relationships since then. People who watch Everyone Loves Raymond may remember the joke, "I am a sex camel."
I just registered yesterday for a whole bunch of forums, on ecology, etc. Despite my hardships, I perservere and still want to do a lot of good for this world. I hope Heaven grants me at least the time I need to start the process.

Fight back against mind control, manipulating leaders and those who would exploit you. Take control of your own destiny. Before you get involved with a religious movement, investigate it thoroughly first.

Dad also hooked up my toboggan to the back of his car to give my sister Caryn and I a ride back from my father's carpool and friend who lived about 1 mile away. We both could have gotten killed by this.
My sister insisted on being first. I complied sinsterly because I knew the snow would get in her face. It happened. Some times it pays to have a high IQ which I do.
Anyway, one day when we were teenages, my sister came downstairs and complained to our father about how I had the television up too loud and she couldn't get to sleep. I protested and told my father that I never played it very loud. He yelled at me and I complied.
The next night, she came down again although it was still set to the same low volume I turned it down to the previous day. My dad, belligerent as always yelled at me, "Turn it down!" I did again. .
So day three rolled around and I knew that she would do it again. I decided to watch TV with my parents downstairs. She came down anyway and complained! Dad had a little "talk" with her about it.
The most ridiculouos thing was the pickle cutting ritual. Dad really played us off against each other.

My father was always a fatalist claiming that the USA could get worse than Germany and he was a member of the NRA. He always had a lot of guns. In fact, last time I was at his apartment years ago, I know he has an illegal gun in the house. I even know where it is located. The authorities should be notified.

Fight back against mind control, manipulating leaders and those who would exploit you. Take control of your own destiny. Before you get involved with a religious movement, investigate it thoroughly first.

My sister's first husband took a naked photo of my sister and my sister showed it to me. Also, when I was a little boy, my father took a photo of my bris and showed it to his father and my father's second wife. Everyone said, "Oh, Stanley." And if Rick permits this information publicly, (you can edit this out) my father's full name is Stanley Elliot Green. His Hebrew name is Simcha Eliezer Green. He was the black sheep of his family on his mother's side and his mother once cursed him out seeing how messed up my sister and I were getting. She said, "G-ddamn you, Stanley!J"

Fight back against mind control, manipulating leaders and those who would exploit you. Take control of your own destiny. Before you get involved with a religious movement, investigate it thoroughly first.