Wow,
I am so moved to hear the stories above. I also come from a history of abuse in my family. Its so painful to talk about
but i can relate to a lot of the above. I was brought up by my father and he didn't practice any religion, maybe if he had I would have received some moral education. My mother was alcoholic and unable to fulfil her duty, although at some level she had some affection for us she didn't show it much. My mother left when i was 6. My sister alwasy treated me badly and even to this day, i would never feel she would be safe to turn to, even if i was starving, i dont think she would send me money. She had always been tightfisted with me, critical, judgmental, and I did nothing to provoke any of it. I was a victim of trauma by both my father and my sister. They took their own pain out on me. I always felt like the weakest in my family, the one who would never fight back or agress. But now i see that im the most sane member of my family, mainly because of christianity and what it has done for me.Coming from a painful childhood was one thing but when i became a christian I went bhome so many times hopeful of nhealing and reconciliation and just got more emotional and verbal abuse. Healing eluded me. I felt so much hostility and anger from them. My sister's arrogant attitude towards me is unbelievable, truly , and i always try to be kind to my family. im always reaching out. eventually it hurt so much i cut myself off from my family for 7 yrs. i felt guilty about that to this day, always blaming myself never blaming them, always hating myself never hating them, always feeling guilty that i never decided to move back home., even if i can only stand 2 days there at one time. I also have moved from one abusive situation to another,

I also have a hard time maintaining balance over the years. I have turned to men a lot for security in a world where i had little of my attachment needs met by my family. when i was 16 my sister accused my father of incest and her boyfriend brainwashed her and myself into mistrusting him, accusing him of child abuse and leaving home.not only that but he managed to control us in many ways, in my case he convinced me to leave school. I think he just kept making me feel special and wanted and sowed doubt in my mind. In fact i felt a good connection with my father and it was completely severed and has never healed since i left home. That man tore our family apart, but in my own soul i never knew what was the truth after that and my relationship with my father was halfhearted. He was devastated by these events. I was too young and too vulnerable to leave home. Looking back now i see more clearly the forces of good/evil at work. However I really believe that this man was a ONE-PERSON CULT. He really knew how to brainwash us, i was naive and vulnerable. People in school started to notice that I wasnt happy and that i had changed. I wasn't my true self. I had a nervous breakdown about a year after leaving home, life was hard and lonely as i went back to school. This was the first time i felt suicidal and saw a counsellor.I feel so much shame over this experience but i am sick with hatred for this man. When i was 21 i had some memories that i had been abused, but i was mentally unstable at the time, so im not sure, but straight after that in my unbalanced state, i hooked up with a heroin addict and he lived with me for a year , beat me, sexually abused me, and shamed me. He was ultracontrolling again i traded my individuality for his approval and wore whatever he wanted me to wear. After a year with him, I got into the ICOC, a cult which abused me in every way i had not yet been abused, manipulation, spiritual abuse,codependent hooks, authoritarian discipling, and after 4yrs i was exhausted and "spent". I left that church feeling like i wanted to hide it from myself that i had been into a cult and after going to a cult recovery centre twice, i still went back for three years because it was so hard for it to sink in. The church had become my world. I spent 3 yrs in another church and had a 3 yr relationship with a married man which was non sexual but very dependant. I was told i may be a love addict, and joined a 12 step group for 3 yrs which helped me finally leave the ICOC as well as the married man. Now Im trying to investigate whether or not i was abused. Because the only people who told me i was or who "uncovered"memories were cult leaders themselves, maybe trying to get me into a state of victim mentality to create a dependency on them or the group so i have become doubtful of the memories. I go home full of fear since the thing started. Now, aged 35, i am finally trying to find out if i was really abused through counselling, which i only stated again a few weeks ago after several aborted attempts. There is definitely something there which i have been avoiding because its too painful to face and i am concentrating all my energy on that. I have also left the 12 step group, because i didnt think it was a healthy place for me even if it did help me with addiction issues.So now i hope to get to what i think is the root of the chaos, but these last few months i have been really eating to cover my feelings but the last few years at least i am back in touch with my family which i see once a year and we email/phone sometimes. But i dont feel a deep bond connection to them.

My friend was abused a child by his father. He managed to get away, finish college and meet a great girl. They were even talking about marriage when out of nowhere his daddy appeared on his front door one day. Apparently, he tracked him down through this site and he wanted him back, since he lost his job and needed someone to provide money.

Fortunately, my friend was able to shake him off, even managed to get a restraining order. The wedding plans are on and I’m sure he will have a happy life.

Too bad there aren’t more stories like his out there.