Date: January 07, 2007 10:45AM
Hi, I wonder if anyone else has had this problem. I worked 2 years with someone who likely has that narcisstic personality disorder mentioned in other posts. He stalked me at office parties, gave me death threats, waved a sharp object in my face, gave me his work and took credit for it, and tried to make me look bad for ridiculous things like not loaning him $3,000. He was excellent at manipulating people.
He never took responsibility for anything, always insisting that it was everyone else's problem and stupidity. He seemed to enjoy scaring people. He had no empathy for other people. He knew how to do all this and not get caught. He let everyone know that he was "special" and if they couldn't work with him, there was something wrong with them.
This is what I did to combat it. I notice a lot of sites show how to recognize this but not how to fight it.
1) I kept watch. Yeah, I got paranoid, but I learned to look for specific things like who gave him work to do. If he passed it on to me, I made sure the finished product bypassed him and went on the the requestor.
2) I documented EVERYTHING he did.
3) I marked all my projects with my name, in the "Properties" area of each Microsoft application, so he could not take credit for it.
4) I did not complain about him to others unless I knew they were having the same problem. THere are still people at that company who think I was making it up, even though he was fired for his behavior, and the firing had nothing to do with me.
5) I did not leave anything at my desk - work files, email, coffee - that he could interefere with when I was not there.
6) I looked to people who were not in is sphere of influence to get skills and work experience that could help me out of my current position.
7) I ensured all my work was top-rate and on time, and DATED.
8) I made as many communications with him as possible in email, even though he practically sat next to me. This way, he could not claim I hadn't requested something if it was there in black in white in a dated email. Interestingly, he fought email contact with everybody and tried to do everything verbally.
9) No internet surfing. This was a rare event anyway, and not against company rules (as long as it didn't have "offensive content") but he was always watching me for some transgression he could report to our boss.
And most important...
I NEVER EVER WENT ANYWHERE ALONE WITH HIM. Not even to drive a short distance from one office to the other. If I had to stay late to ensure he went with someone else I did it.