Workplace bullying
Posted by: Seldavia ()
Date: January 07, 2007 10:45AM

Hi, I wonder if anyone else has had this problem. I worked 2 years with someone who likely has that narcisstic personality disorder mentioned in other posts. He stalked me at office parties, gave me death threats, waved a sharp object in my face, gave me his work and took credit for it, and tried to make me look bad for ridiculous things like not loaning him $3,000. He was excellent at manipulating people.

He never took responsibility for anything, always insisting that it was everyone else's problem and stupidity. He seemed to enjoy scaring people. He had no empathy for other people. He knew how to do all this and not get caught. He let everyone know that he was "special" and if they couldn't work with him, there was something wrong with them.

This is what I did to combat it. I notice a lot of sites show how to recognize this but not how to fight it.

1) I kept watch. Yeah, I got paranoid, but I learned to look for specific things like who gave him work to do. If he passed it on to me, I made sure the finished product bypassed him and went on the the requestor.

2) I documented EVERYTHING he did.

3) I marked all my projects with my name, in the "Properties" area of each Microsoft application, so he could not take credit for it.

4) I did not complain about him to others unless I knew they were having the same problem. THere are still people at that company who think I was making it up, even though he was fired for his behavior, and the firing had nothing to do with me.

5) I did not leave anything at my desk - work files, email, coffee - that he could interefere with when I was not there.

6) I looked to people who were not in is sphere of influence to get skills and work experience that could help me out of my current position.

7) I ensured all my work was top-rate and on time, and DATED.

8) I made as many communications with him as possible in email, even though he practically sat next to me. This way, he could not claim I hadn't requested something if it was there in black in white in a dated email. Interestingly, he fought email contact with everybody and tried to do everything verbally.

9) No internet surfing. This was a rare event anyway, and not against company rules (as long as it didn't have "offensive content") but he was always watching me for some transgression he could report to our boss.

And most important...

I NEVER EVER WENT ANYWHERE ALONE WITH HIM. Not even to drive a short distance from one office to the other. If I had to stay late to ensure he went with someone else I did it.

Workplace bullying
Posted by: Gulab Jamon ()
Date: January 09, 2007 04:43AM

Excellent and practical advice! I'm glad your situation got resolved.

I also try to use email as much as possible so that I have a dated "paper trail" of work-related communication to fall back on. In situations that involve a verbal or phone conversation, I suggest sending a follow-up email saying something like, "Per our conversation this morning" or "per our phone conversation" and repeat the quote or the topic discussed.

Workplace bullying
Posted by: thunderbyrd ()
Date: January 13, 2007 01:54PM

i actually had a supervisor who was almost as bad as what you've described. i eventually left the job. i really regretted that i hadn't "kept book" on him from day one.

Workplace bullying
Posted by: rachel1965 ()
Date: February 07, 2007 12:37PM


I'm so sorry to hear about the horrible person with whom you had to share a part of your life.

Your suggestions are actually excellent to use in most situations! I appreicate your tips.

It's a terrible thing to say, but we really do have to cover our own rear-ends in this world.

Workplace bullying
Posted by: Burnedout ()
Date: May 28, 2007 01:00AM


If you are in the USA, what you described of your supervisor/supervisors is illegal and you could very likely win a huge settlement in a lawsuit. If you have any witnesses or recordings of such activities, such as direct threats, physical or emotional intimidation, sexual harassment, etc., you could win big $$$. If you have any evidence like that, go to a lawyer. Make sure you have a paper trail, such as anything in writing or recorded, emails, etc., if it is me, I make their lives hell in return. I am a master at making them wish they were never married. I find a way to get even...l :D

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