Cycle of abuse
Date: October 09, 2006 02:42PM
I am new to the forum, directed here by google, and I have recently discovered the module "the cycle of abuse." It has lead me to beleive that I am a victim of religious abuse as well as a long-time victim of emotional abuse in the family. I guess I had never seen things so clear-cut until now, and this is helping me work toward some kind of resolution. I am by definition of the cycle currently in an emotionally abusive relationship, but don't get me wrong - this was so difficult to come to such a conclusion.
I didn't want to accept the facts, because of my insecurity about myself. Some scars still remain from the emotional abuse I received as a child, as well as the lasting impression that my sense of reality is compromsied. To put it in terms of my parent's, "you have a warped sense of reality." It is a strange thing to tell an adolescent who has never used drugs or alcohol. So I guess it sort of "stuck."
Unfortunately this may have caused me a great deal of impediment in trusting my judgement and analysis of the facts. All blame aside, there is enough evidence for me to convince myself to let go of this co-dependent relationship, and yet there is this lingering sense of guilt. Can I do it? Am I doing the right thing? Is it possible that I am seen as a pathetic, easily exploitable target who is wondering why things never seem to work out? Or am I just so afraid of finding that special someone that I have created a negative illusion of the nature of events having occurred?
I could desparately use some advice and encouragement.
Challenged by the dualistic nature of opinion