Date: August 21, 2002 08:55AM
My former doctor, a naturopatic physician, should get an award for covert manipulation. Not only did he have the advantage of having me tell him what my strengths and weaknesses were, he had "science", a doctoral degree to back him up on things I questioned. My reason for seeing him was cramps and PMS. He eventually diagnosed me with post traumatic stress disorder as I had been raped many years ago. At my 2nd office visit, he asked me, almost as an aside, if I had heard of Landmark Forum. I had only heard of some controversy and said so. He said another patient got a lot out of it. He didn't mention LF until a full year later, when he was so adamant about me going that he offered to pay the tuition. I was very sick at the time - upper respiratory infection - and he wanted me to go that night to a Tuesday p.m. session. He was very angry when I refused but turned it around on me saying he was arguing for my strengths and that I was arguing for my weaknesses. I ended up going a year after that, in 12/01. I realized with his anger that he had convinced me to try other therapies and that there was no problem because I gave in. But his reasoning was always that I had a control problem, that's why I questioned things. He had even offered MDMA (ecstasy), as a way of releasing buried emotions, but I refused. He left the country saying he would be back in a few weeks and even called me from Europe, playing an incredible charade of being a doctor and a friend. When I called him to let him know how my Landmark went, he wasn't home, but I got his roommate who was surprised to learn I didn't know he had moved to Europe. He called a few days later screaming at me that I'm sick and need help and needed to take responsibility for myself. I'm in therapy now, trying to sort it out. I see where I didn't trust my gut, but was always able to justify his behavior. It's only recently that I realized he did one long Landmark Forum weekend - my cramps and mood swings according to him, were my racket. The rape was an event and my problems in life amounted to my story about the event. When I was still having problems, he gave up and blamed it on my lack of responsibility. What a racket!