@Rothaus:
There is one thing I realy must say. A big thank you to all of you who joined this forum. Your experiences are of so much help to many out there who are having second thoughts on SGI.

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Remember back to when you were shakubuku'ed. Remember the assurances of those oh-so-friendly people? Sure made you want to join the organization and experience such a wonderful teaching that would make people so happy and warm. It will be okay! No problem is too big! Trust Sensei, he would never mislead us....

BZZZZT! Reality check!

Remember two months later when all those friendly people were no where to be found? How they were too busy to explain things? How insistent the WD members were about collecting your money? How condescending those leaders were when you asked them those tough questions that they couldn't answer? What kind of Master/Disciple relationship can you have with a man who is just a phantom?
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Reading back over these (many) message threads there are treasure troves of wisdom, hard fought and won through the sacrifices of time and treasure of those who are here now and who have gone "through it all" with NSA./SGI in one way or another.

I agree with Rothaus, I believe that what one really sees here are people, who at first wished to find the best and trusted NSA/SGI, and who are now wiser but disillusioned and frustrated with what the organization really had become and is today.

<raises his can of diet coke>

Here's a toast to us all. We made it out intact. :^)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/24/2010 09:09AM by wakatta1.

got a new one today "you just have a low life condition." I notice that when I tell people that I have left and why they don't seem to get it. It makes me feel like I'm in a bad dream. I know I'm not alone in seeing the SGI for what it is. Right about now everything Ikeda drives me crazy. They probably think I am jealous of him or some other delusional thinking. I can't stand him. It is lonely out here. I have a feeling other people born into the SGI feel the same way I do but have bowed out more in a more subtle manner. So I guess I will always be the sick one in their eyes. I think they're sick. It helps to just focus on saying no, kinda like you would to a salesman trying to sell you a bunch of crap, but you feel kind of sorry for them cause they are just trying to make a living (like the average member, NOT the big wigs who know exactly what they are doing).

Quote
evergreen
I notice that when I tell people that I have left and why they don't seem to get it

Sure they won't get it, they see the world in a different way as they are unable to respond to any situation without checking it with the SGI-Filter-System. Also running into somebody who has left may run against what they were told what would happen with such a person.

@evergreen what you are going through is completely normal. I say, just allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you are feeling and it will pass. I have learned a lot by going to therapy and the one thing that stayed with me is that just because you are feeling a certain way does not mean it is true. I can attest to this because almost everyday I run into and SGI member. So far I have been supported in my decision as far as quitting goes. I've been wished a lot of luck. Yesterday my boss (who is a member I met before she became my boss) found out accidentally by one of my best friends that I took down my gohonzan. I assumed that she'd be all preachy, yet she was very supportive when she pulled me into her office to find out why I had taken down my gohonzan. She knows the deal with the SGI and has stayed away from certain meeting/members herself. I should also like to add evergreen that I too am not out of the woods yet, in spite of the fact that I can see parts of the forest vs. all of the trees at time as well. The other day a hardcore member came into my job and I actually froze up and thought that she had found out that I quit practicing. As a result of this thought all kinds of irrational thoughts began to enter my mind and I actually got scared that I would never be happy without the SGI in my life. I know it is BS, but I also understand that it is a process and that in many ways I was brainwashed and that it will take time as long as I allow myself to heal and to process the irrational thoughts. There is no sense in denying what is there given that this was apart of my life for four years. I should also as well like to thank so many on this forum who have shared there stories with me. At times I was saddened to hear that some of the people in the organization went through things worse than I did, yet I am thankful for each and everyone of you guys experiences, because I am a sensitive person and every time I would go to my sponsor or someone else with an issue I was told that it was me and not them. In other words I was taken things way out of context. I now know that I was not because of you guys. You've given me that space to talk about my many experiences wheareas at times I was never validated for the ways in which I felt. There were times when there were mental handcuffs on my brain as a result of this organization and I acutally thought I was crazy, but your experiences and allowing me to express myself let's me know that I am well-cared for and am not crazy.

@lthomas:

You said: "The other day a hardcore member came into my job and I actually froze up and thought that she had found out that I quit practicing. As a result of this thought all kinds of irrational thoughts began to enter my mind and I actually got scared that I would never be happy without the SGI in my life.."

Just a little Buddhist thought here... happiness is an internal state of mind. Projecting this onto NSA/SGI will pretty much ensure that that organization will always exert some influence over you. You can definitely be happy, especially by understanding and breaking attachments to any outside organization. The real magic goes on inside your life and enlightenment has always been about unlocking that inner happiness. Buddhist teachings are just "the messenger", intending to awaken you to this reality. No organization can substitute for this, no matter what they believe they can or can't do. Feeling that NSA/SGI somehow would provide happiness just reinforces the faulty logic of the Cult.

@evergreen:

One of the other reasons I left NSA/SGI was that I could find no real models of truly happy people in the organization, both above or below me in the "food chain". The "models" such as the hombu chiefs and higher tried to emulate a "high life condition" but at critical times I noticed they were just as clueless as I was in dealing with the curve-balls life threw at them. In fact, once you started to "peel the onion" on them you discovered they had major problems in their lives too. Add to that their need to somehow always appear "in control" as well as needing to "support sensei" even though they disagreed with where things in the organization were going.

For me, one side benefit of departing that organization and it's leadership was that the pressure came off feeling I needed to project an image of "having it all together" for fear of "discouraging the membership". My point is that there were examples of low life conditions all around me, granted, some 'bigwigs' were honest people struggling to get through each trial, but in other cases, there were people trying to 'appear' enlightened. I recall one very popular leader's wife coming out and blowing the whistle on his heavy cocaine use - during a major meeting! Appearances can be deceiving.

In some cases, just getting away from an organization that routinely misleads the membership and exploits them by extracting money and time under false pretences is actually a positive step in raising one's life condition. Seeing through the falsehood and illusion is a good thing!


Wakatta1

Wow, it seems like many of you are living in areas that are infested with SGI members. You all keep running into them left and right! Ithomas has a boss who's in the SGI that avoids certain meetings. Throughout my whole ordeal, I have been incredibly curious as to how many of the practicing SGI members are turned off by the whole "Mentor/Disciple" thing deep down inside their hearts. Of course, none of them would ever admit that at a meeting, but it just boggles my mind how people aren't turned off by irrational and egomaniacal Ikeda quotes like these:

Genuine disciples give their all to protect their mentor from malicious attacks, even if they come under fire themselves. They have the spirit to take on persecution to shield their mentor from harm. In contrast, ungrateful individuals who trample on the profound debt they owe their mentor are certain to receive stern retribution in accord with the law of cause and effect. (2/19/10, World Tribune)

As President Toda's true disciple, I have made steadfast efforts to protect the Law, thereby opening the eternal path through which our members can transform their karma. (March-April 2009, Living Buddhism)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/25/2010 02:33AM by SGBye.

SGBye, It sounds like the World Tribune is getting even worse than it was when I last read it!

Thinking about written words today. Okay. So proclamations were made by SGI members to make the Mentor/Disciple relationship the primary goal of your life, yet the 2010 goals postcard has no mention of this relationship other than: 'With deep appreciation for the past 50 years, let's welcome President and Mrs. Ikeda back to America!' and then 3 bullet points for the dynamic development of Youth. Okay. A shift of focus. Or downplaying it now? A whole new rhythm? Who knows, until they give you another rewording. From Sensei? (of course the Youth are to seek the M/D relationship).
'The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin' available for SGI members has the words 'Soka Gakkai' on the bottom of the front cover of this 1200 page collected writings. I looked inside for a more specific authorship. Under the title inside is 'Editor-Translator' . Under that is 'The Gosho Translation Committee'.
Who wrote the song "I Seek Sensei"? How many of the young women singing it have a chance to review it and think about the lyrics: 'And this is my life and I give it all to kosen rufu.' and 'I seek Sensei - in every way'.

Good grief reading that quote in SGbye's comment made me shiver:

Quote
SGBye
Genuine disciples give their all to protect their mentor from malicious attacks, even if they come under fire themselves. They have the spirit to take on persecution to shield their mentor from harm. In contrast, ungrateful individuals who trample on the profound debt they owe their mentor are certain to receive stern retribution in accord with the law of cause and effect. (2/19/10, World Tribune)

How much more self-adulation does it take from that charlatan ???? And yes sure they will not say who that mentor is ....

Its actually quite sickening.

Quote
SGBye

Genuine disciples give their all to protect their mentor from malicious attacks, even if they come under fire themselves. They have the spirit to take on persecution to shield their mentor from harm. In contrast, ungrateful individuals who trample on the profound debt they owe their mentor are certain to receive stern retribution in accord with the law of cause and effect. (2/19/10, World Tribune)

As President Toda's true disciple, I have made steadfast efforts to protect the Law, thereby opening the eternal path through which our members can transform their karma. (March-April 2009, Living Buddhism)

I'm so glad you brought these up! Very alarming, I read them as well.


Well, I told my friend I was leaving SGI. She just tried to explain everything away, and frame it differently. She asked why I thought Ikeda was able to spread 'this buddhism' as much as he was and why he has so many honorary doctorates (I didn't explain my theory). I've just been ignoring calls from the other members, it hasn't been so bad. This friend has really gone over the edge herself though...I feel like she was really connected to my faith since she shaka-bukued me. She messaged me that she was having very bad sansho-shima recently, and she said she really needed my "sincere chanting and conviction" to help her. I've ignored multiple invitations to go to other meetings and have flat out said that I wont go to anymore...but every time she talks to me always about kosen rufu, daimoku. It's going to be hard to ride out honestly. It's getting kind of disturbing too.