Book Suggestion on Helping Wife and Kids Exit Cult
Posted by: tommore ()
Date: December 31, 2009 04:44AM

I'm new to the rickross forum and actually kind of new to looking at my current problem as a cult problem.

I'm a Mormon (on Mormon Church records at least), but realized in July 2008 that the Mormon Church (LDS Church) was not at all what it claims to be. My wife does not know the full extent of my disbelief because I'm scared that it will harm my relationship with her and motivate her to commit herself even more deeply to the LDS Church. I've decided I can't live this charade much longer, so I intend to disclose my unwillingness to support the Church soon. Ideally I'd like her to leave the Church, but if that's not possible, I at least want her to respect my decision to leave it.

I was thinking of reading Releasing the Bonds by Steven Hassan, but I read of some of the negative interaction between him and Rick. I've also considered reading Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz because reviews of it indicate that he deals with his disbelief in the JW Church in a very respectful way. I thought that could help me be respectful regarding my wife's beliefs.

Any suggestions on books that might help deal with my situation?

We also have minor kids, but I’m more confident that I can help them out of the Church and not endanger my relationships with them.


Sir Tom

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Re: Book Suggestion on Helping Wife and Kids Exit Cult
Posted by: Sparky ()
Date: January 01, 2010 02:28AM

Welcome, tommore. At the top of this page there are a number of helpful links. I took the opportunity to post the link to Rick Ross' helpful book list. See here:


I don't know if "cult" is the correct term for the modern LDS. Clearly when Smith and Young were running around they were a cult.

Here is a link to Mormon Truth:


This is run by an ex-member and might serve as a support group for you.

Here is another link to CARM (Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry...from their name alone they clearly have an agenda so take the info with a grain of salt)


They give a history of the LDS that you may be unaware of and may not be easy for a current member to get ahold of without attracting the eyes of the elders.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/01/2010 02:35AM by Sparky.

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Re: Book Suggestion on Helping Wife and Kids Exit Cult
Posted by: Mary Struggler ()
Date: January 02, 2010 12:33PM

I don't know of any good books but I am well aware of situations like you describe. Trying to leave a cult is more difficult when children and spouses are involved. You're forced with trying to get them to go with you (which could subject you to reeducation) or to leave without them.

I saw it in the group I belonged to where one spouse would leave, soon to be followed by the other. The first one would get established somewhere (family, a job, a place to live, etc.) and try to get the spouse to follow suit. As there are children involved, I would suggest you talk with a lawyer.

Mary Struggler

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