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melburn_oz
Hi,
I just did some googling and found this resource – I really wish I had found it before.
Last year I was blissfully ignorant to white collar cults until my sister became involved in the Landmark forum thanks to her partner. A lot has happened over the last year so I'm going to try and condense it as much as possible and concentrate on where things are at right now.
Basically, she told me of her concern about her partner’s involvement after doing a bit of googling but decided she would sit the course with an open mind. She then rang myself and other family members that weekend to tell us she loved us and to acknowledge us for different reasons. She sounded a bit strange but I always encourage open communication and all that jazz and welcome it with open arms. At the end she called me during the week to share how it had changed her life and how she wanted it to change my life too. It took quite a lot of emotional bullying from her and finally I decided to do it. I felt like it couldn’t' hurt and I should give anything a try with an open mind especially from someone I loved with all my heart and only wanted the best. I trusted her so much I was actually excited by the possibilities of this course that she so vaguely (but strangely enthused) described.
The course did nothing for me but develop a strong distaste for the organization, it's process and everything it stands for. I felt like I and a handful of other participants were in a sea of damaged individuals who had become brainwashed and in some creepy way, had been waiting in dormancy for landmark their entire lives as a means of pure self indulgence, focus and attention.
Great conflict arose between my sister and my family. My sister who I had never questioned and always respected and loved with all my heart was starting to become a thorn in my side. At first I was greatly concerned for her but after the amount of heart ache she has caused me and my family I have gradually accepted that I actually don't like who she has become.
My last resort was agreeing to move in with her a few months ago and I would say it was a mistake but I had to try and I feel I have done the right thing in attempting to understand her and find some common ground. I cannot regret this.
Instead though I have further witnessed a girl who has become completely self indulgent, who continually is trying to manipulate me and use techniques that I find so blatantly obvious. Landmark has provided her with a mindset that allows her to avoid responsibility for her actions and consequences and to translate the emotional upsets of others as a result of how they perceive things rather then her role in the upset.
During our time living together she has called "conversations\chats\meetings" for us to discuss some issues and I have been very straight forward and honest with her. I have actually told her that I have accepted that we are no longer aligned in any way and that the way she communicates and approaches life in general does not suit me and that I would like to not only live apart but minimize contact with her. I actually feel like she is damaging to be around. I told her that her feelings are no longer measured and I cannot communicate with someone like that because it's like talking to a robot. I told her that she is not at all tuned in to people in general particularly the family and that many decisions she has made in the last year has been selfish and upset the family.
At the end of me saying all I had to say in this conversation, she called another "chat" a week later. When it began I suddenly realized she had planned an Agenda. Her tone was passive aggressive (the Scary Landmark way) our conversation starting off quite heated where she basically interrogated me about my attitude toward her. She was telling me that everything was not alright with me and that I was hiding from her and that I could tell her anything and I finally yelled back and told her to stop interrogating me when I didn't understand what she was talking about. I mean I already had been very up front with her in previous conversations. She then apologized and started again and I told her what I had already told her, I usually am more tactful but I have to resort to being what I would usually consider mean.
Then she said "this isn't you speaking to me". I said yes it is! She said no it's not. I said, yes it is! This happened a few times then she said I know you and I actually said no you do not and this went back and forward a few times then she said. “do you know how I know?” and I asked “how?” and she said
"Because I used to be you."
She sounded very passive aggressive the whole time and at this point my blood boiled a bit I think. I didn’t remember until later and she obviously hadn’t either but she told me the year before that her partner told her this exact same thing while she was sitting the forum.
“I know you, because I used to be you”.
She had told me the coin dropped for her at this point. Now she was trying this same ridiculous cookie cutting cliché on me. Correct me if this is wrong but hasn’t this phrase been thrown around in parodies for decades now, I’m pretty sure I’ve even heard it on the Simpsons! I assured her that she did not know me and I really had no interest in spending massive amounts of my energy in even attempting to help her. The last thing we did was a pointless game where I had to voice her strengths and weaknesses and I then she would do the same. The game helped her communicate, not me, I don’t communicate through games.
I never thought I would feel this way but I have completely given up on my sister and I am so disgusted that the organization exists and can cause so much suffering in society. They are a social infection.
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melburn_oz
Hi all,
Thanks for your replies, it's amazing to communicate with others who know EXACTLY what I'm on about and who have experienced the same. Vic Luc, I had actually already read your story and feel very much for you also, it really is tragic. I'm going to continue to read this forum and educate myself on the subject and the information you all have to impart. This is all going to come in very handy and I'm willing be involved and proactive.
I imagine that we are linked very closely thanks to the Landmark circle and you being just above in Sydney.
...
Shadow, you are 100% right, she was trying to mind f## me. As far as the techniques go, I guess she would like a breakdown of some sort, all apart of the process yeah? She has done so many courses now and has started talking about becoming a life couch :shock: I can't begin to explain how scarey that is. She is pretty mental and I know that Landmark must be rubbing their hands together in glee at her because she is increidbly motivated and commited to this and will infect people at a rapid rate.
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The Shadow
yes, Melburn_oz, it is mind-boggling - the rate at which they are "infecting" people. I was thinking last night, it would be easier if my friend was shooting herion into her viens, at least then people would believe me. I am so frustrated. But I think we have to speak out, at least we may be able to save other people, or help other families if they hear about these programs BEFORE they sign up.
Thanks for staying strong and active...I hope in time you will be able to get closure, although I don't know how I would accomplish this if I do not succeed in getting my friend away from Landmark.
On Monday I thought I had made some progress, only to have it all fall down around me on Tuesday. I spent most of Wednesday crying, because once again, I was devasted by my friend's "coldness" and lack of understanding how her words and actions are affecting me.
keep us posted on how you are doing,
'shad'
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The Shadow
Hi ajinajan;
I have not seen these news articles. Do you have a link you could direct me to, I would be interested in reading them.
Thanks,
'shad'