More posts about 'designated relationships' and the toll it took in people's lives:

Posted by: Mined
Date: February 06, 2020 03:01PM

kBOY Wrote:

> This was just one more iteration of Elijah/Elisha,
> Paul/Timothy, DR (designated relationship)
> insanity that wreaked so much havoc across the TLW
> landscape.

> Worse still, it helped to solidify a culture of
> perpetual dependency where maturity was held out
> just far enough as something that would never be
> attained; classic carrot & stick.

KBoy, you hit the nail on the head, and have put words to my experience in a way I haven't been able to. Perpetual dependency is painfully accurate. In my case, I had the added irony of my "replacement father" also being actively involved in removing my REAL father from a position of leadership in our local chapter. I was always told it was because he had a wrong spirit, along with a sprinkling of other BS - but really it was all a part of the great purge of those not loyal enough to Marilyn Hargrave. How ironic, my dad supposedly wasn't there for me...because they kicked him out. Years later I'm happy to report that my REAL dad has stood by me unconditionally, and the replacement dad has no active role in my life.

Posted by: NavyVet79
Date: November 13, 2018 10:44AM

Just who in the H*** do they think themselves to be that they can dictate to whom I can or cannot speak to about the TLWF? Is this a country that I need papers on me to move about? I think not!!
And about "designated relationships ", that is an absolute NON-STARTER! This is not communist Russia nor communist China. If I wish to visit with someone I know, it is 100% none of anyone else's business! End of discussion.
Cults, being what they are, believe that this behavior is acceptable. I wish to inform them that it is not. G'day

Posted by: larry bobo
Date: September 18, 2018 09:01AM

There is a huge difference between a counselor that has been professionally trained and those we served under in TLWF. The lack of qualifications became even more apparent in designated relationships, but I would suggest that there was always a lack of qualifications clear to the top – including John. I don’t think designated relationships were ever about helping people, but about controlling and keeping tabs on them. After I left my local church, my former pastor, who had been kicked out of the fellowship, told me that he could not believe I would continue to do what he asked. It was never about helping me, but about breaking my spirit to become more obedient. I might also note that his strategies were being directed by Apco and Apco's strategies by G&M. As soon as there was an obvious problem, G&M would cut ties to the local pastor and claim the pastor did not have their spirit and therefore they were not responsible.


Posted by: FCSLC
Date: May 13, 2018 07:31AM

Woke up this morning feeling fine. And best of all, there is no pressure to attend church, read the Bible, think about God, or wonder with much anxiousness if I’m still in good favor with my ‘divinely appointed designated shepherd’ who, indeed, vacillated between love and hate subject to his moody, paranoid personality.

Agreed: "The hardest day of freedom is better than the best day inside a cult."

Posted by: light777
Date: March 22, 2017 10:36PM

By nature I am a very strong, take charge type of person, always have been. Interestingly, I was once told by one of my Shepherds, that I was one of the most rebellious people they had ever known... such an odd statement that came out of left field, particularly because I had literally given up my life for these people... I moved away from my God given family at a young age to be and live under their thumb and serve them. I guess what this Shepherd really meant to say, or should have said, if they were being authentic, was that I would not serve them unconditionally without questioning their motives. I could always see right through the B.S. control, however, with that being said, I do have a tender, compassionate heart, and will help and do for others, providing there is not a hidden agenda, i.e. self serving.

Puddington: To answer your question regarding the PTSD...

1. Rejection... feeling extremely inadequate at times

2. Nightmares...

3. Insomnia... Difficulty falling asleep

4. My love and zest for life has / had diminished significantly... feeling very usurped, however my struggle with this, as with all of the other PTSD, is that only I can allow myself to own these feelings, or the circumstances that created this. When all is said and done, it is me that has to let go... easier said than done, but true.

5. Anger for what I allowed... Why did I not leave sooner... why did allow them to "bully" me, or control me! etc...

6. Difficulty at times / in select situations having someone tell me what to do, or attempt to tell me what I am thinking... This is a HUGE issue for me, due to the fact that I had to submit for so many years to the shepherds...to G & M... i.e. "Designated Relationships", which in my opinion was a disaster and a complete and utter joke, as it was so one sided! I remember how a small group of us (secretly) would joke about asking our Shepherd, or DR "designated relationship" if we could buy toilet paper and if that was approved, what color should we buy!!! Seriously... the control was sick! The irony in using "toilet paper", was that it was a necessity in life... how could they say no! But, the color, now that was clearly up for debate!

When I have talked to family / friends about the control the church had on us, it was beyond perplexing for them to grasp and understand. The main reaction I get is, "but you were an adult, why did you allow it?" And of course, my answer, because I truly thought at the time that if I left, I would lose everything that I had come to know and mostly believed... including some of my own blood family who are still in the cult. I would also not be able to enter into the kingdom, so I guess that meant that I could have possibly gone to hell. WOW... what a mind _ _ _ _!!!

My intent... my heart... on this forum is to talk candidly and with honesty, in hopes that we can continue to be healed and help each other heal through the processes and enlightenments through the journey that each of us are on. What is most important, is that we seek the truth in rightness before our Lord,


Posted by: larry bobo
Date: August 31, 2016 10:40AM

I personally spent a couple of years in professional counseling after leaving TLWF. I saw the counselor for one hour a week at a rate of $120/hr. – fortunately I had insurance that covered it, or I would have been unable to afford it. My only requirements were that the counselor had experience with those who been in a cult and that they were NOT a Christian – I thought TLWF was Christian, and as a result, was done with Christianity. I know better now.

A lot of wonderful things began to happen when I got out of the bondage of TLWF mind control. Every area of life began to blossom as the restraint was lifted – my relationship with God, marriage, work, social relationships etc. – everything improved. The teaching that everyone who leaves is under satanic control or a Nephilim are simply lies to maintain control. You are not going to die under the judgments of God - you actually move into an arena where He finally has access to you. The other lie is that the reason things may get better is because Satan is no longer attacking you because you are no longer a threat to Him. Actually, the upward flow of TLWF is Satan’s kingdom, not God’s. God is into taking care of the least – not the greatest who want to fleece His people.

To be honest, it’s almost comical when the spell is broken and you see what you believed. Imagine telling someone at your work that if they allowed you to control every area of their lives, using a designated relationship to monitor their compliance, that you would give them immortality and they would rule the world. You could tell them you were the Door Opener Apostle so they would know you had the power to give them what you promised – even though you had to stay drunk to tolerate how poorly you were running your own life and how badly you had damaged your personal family relationships. Without mind control, nobody would believe it. In fact, they would probably feel sorry for how delusional you were.

There's a lot pain and a lot of power in these posts about becoming free after years of submitting to "authority". As a teenager in The Walk, I was told stories about the death and destruction that awaited those who rebelled. If God didn't kill you in a fiery crash, you faced a failed, miserable life of knowing that you were not fit for the kingdom of their god. You would lose your entire social support system, including blood family that remained in the cult.

The good news is that none of those things happen to people who awaken and leave TLWF. There is much conditioning that can begin to heal. I agree with Larry Bobo that professional secular counseling helps. Also, the quote that FCSLC posted is a good one:

"The hardest day of freedom is better than the best day inside a cult."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/23/2020 11:59PM by Reepicheep.

I agree, Reep. You must overcome the fear imposed by false authorities to have any chance at freedom. And, like you, I identify completely with that quote from FCSLC.

We have always had a choice within certain parameters ('modified' FREEDOM), because going from believing in one thing (TLW) to deciding not to believe it, left us all for a time wilderness-wandering in search of what to believe next; "The hardest day of freedom . . . "  (It is not possible to believe in 'nothing', for even that is a belief--not well founded.) 

Regaining our bearings in a brave new world is like being dropped right into one--no clear direction and no accurate assessment of parameters or paradigms.  I, for one, spent more than a year poking my nose around and pursuing dead-ends, in search of a new 'ground of being'.  It was definitely my 'hardest day'.

It may be of interest to some that I came back full-circle, not to Christianity, but to what Jesus actually taught:  LOVE CREATOR/LOVE CREATION.  He kept it simple, so why not we?  It is beliefs in other 'things' that make that choice ('modified' FREEDOM) more difficult.  All of those 'beliefs' separate, not JOIN.

Once one proactively 'chooses' LOVE (in advance of the moment), an entirely new world appears--HEAVEN overlaying the world we made.  As challenging as that is, the rewards far outweigh the effort.  LOVING our world is how the world is redeemed, someone already having shown us 'the WAY'.  We are headed in the direction of 'doing only those things which we see LOVE doing'.

We will come to TRUST the fact that LOVE is leading us HOME.

Wishing everyone who has stepped forward through the years to share insight about their own TLWF/Walk experience a pleasant, meaningful Memorial Day. This includes, but of course is not limited to, kBoy, Reep, Puddington, FCSLC, that little red flag, NancyB, Larry Bobo, GSchaeff, Typer, Imapurple, Cludwatcher, Saw Enough, dbc, Walked, JesusJesusJesus, Mined, FilthyApron, Powertrip, Sunnyford, SawEnough, RichardM., The Jewel, I-Woke_Up, Sunnyford, Twoteetwo, Mined, ApostleDog, Amos, NavyVet79 Richard M. and the individual (Altar-Kent) who started this discussion on February 23, 2004 with a simple question: "Is anyone familiar with his movement?" This innocent question has triggered 11,284 comments to date.
Much love to my compatriots going forward...

p.s. I confess that I read this short comment posted by I_woke_up nearly every day, since it always, without fail, lifts my spirit:
"I threw all LWF literature in the dump years ago."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/25/2020 11:24PM by changedagain.

C H A N G E D

My sentiments completely, on both counts; to those ex-pats brave enough to transition from the heat of one day to the heat of another, and to each ceremonial book/cassette burning that symbolized a decisive break from the past that would never be revisited.

The LIGHT only gets brighter as we head toward it.

kBOY wrote:
My sentiments completely, on both counts; to those ex-pats brave enough to transition from the heat of one day to the heat of another, and to each ceremonial book/cassette burning that symbolized a decisive break from the past that would never be revisited.

Yes

This post by 'fool me twice' from March of 2019 which mentions an encounter she had with the 'Apostle of love':

Posted by: fool me twice
Date: March 23, 2019 10:57AM

Onion wrote:
Fool me twice: How many hours did you work to earn that whopping weekly pay? I would estimate at least 60 hours a week.

60 is likely the correct amount of hours. I should add that for $35.00 weekly I got room and board (an unfinished, musty and dirty basement) Once I got my raise to $75.00 a week all living expenses were mine to pay. Yes to be 'selected' for this opportunity to serve my marriage was rushed and we were in Iowa two weeks later.

I had the 'privilege' to work for a different KB as a painter. I did painting on both the JRS home and the Blix house. One day while I was scraping paint on JRS's house, a job that is not only quite dirty but also causes a lot of paint chips to fall into your eyes since no productive gear was a thing with KB's. JRS stepped out of his house and scolded me because I had failed to somehow prevent the paint chips from falling into his flower beds. "That paint has lead in it and that will kill my plants" Not that lead paint could be harmful to you or your eyes. Actually that was the only time JRS said a single word to me outside of a service.

changedagain Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This post by 'fool me twice' from March of 2019
> which mentions an encounter she had with the
> 'Apostle of love':
>
> Posted by: fool me twice
> Date: March 23, 2019 10:57AM
>
> Onion wrote:
> Fool me twice: How many hours did you work to
> earn that whopping weekly pay? I would estimate at
> least 60 hours a week.
>
> 60 is likely the correct amount of hours. I should
> add that for $35.00 weekly I got room and board
> (an unfinished, musty and dirty basement) Once I
> got my raise to $75.00 a week all living expenses
> were mine to pay. Yes to be 'selected' for this
> opportunity to serve my marriage was rushed and we
> were in Iowa two weeks later.
>
> I had the 'privilege' to work for a different KB
> as a painter. I did painting on both the JRS home
> and the Blix house. One day while I was scraping
> paint on JRS's house, a job that is not only quite
> dirty but also causes a lot of paint chips to fall
> into your eyes since no productive gear was a
> thing with KB's. JRS stepped out of his house and
> scolded me because I had failed to somehow prevent
> the paint chips from falling into his flower beds.
> "That paint has lead in it and that will kill my
> plants" Not that lead paint could be harmful to
> you or your eyes. Actually that was the only time
> JRS said a single word to me outside of a service.

Fool me twice, your encounter with JRS sounds typical. If he didn't want or need something from you in some instrumental capacity, you were considered to be superfluous. I don't know whether to feel sad for you that you were treated like that by "the apostle to the kingdom", or happy for you that those were the only words he spoke to you outside of a service. Either way, much healing to you and to all of us.

Reep wrote:
I don't know whether to feel sad for you that you were treated like that by "the apostle to the kingdom", or happy for you that those were the only words he spoke to you outside of a service. Either way, much healing to you and to all of us.

I recall in the mid-late 70's that I, along with another church member, painted the exterior of a home owned by John in the vicinity of the Redland's church. The pastor of the church at the time decided--after the job was complete--that John should not be charged for the job, and pressured the owner of the small company we worked for (also a church member) to consider it a donation to the 'apostle.' This he did. An announcement was made at the end of the next church service about 'our decision' to donate our labor to the apostle.
BTW, while I was alone one day doing the prep work on the exterior, John came by to check things out. After looking around for a while & not acknowledging my existence, he left without saying a word. You would think that mini-encounter would be enough for me to question my devotion to this man...but it had no impact.
Anyway, since leaving the cult in '98 I have reclaimed my life, and function with a rational mind, no longer putting myself in a position to benefit the lives of con men. The discussion in this forum, along with the various FB groups, has been invaluable in clearing my mind. Thank you, again, to all who have participated.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/27/2020 05:56AM by changedagain.