We might as well face the facts that JRS was already heavily compromised goods by the time he was pitching himself to us as a man-of-god back in the 70s.  Give a good performance he could, and we drank it up like the thirsty pups we were at that time.

It was difficult to resist the opportunity to finally be the 'ones' to move the ball across the goal-line and bring an end to 2000+ years of Christian disappointment.  We bought the line that withdrawal could be fatal, so we hung in there as best we could.  By the time 1979 came and went (along with little explanation as to why nothing really happened), I guess many of us had forged relationships that were more important than false doctrine and continued to hang around--many for far too long.

kBOY wrote:
By the time 1979 came and went (along with little explanation as to why nothing really happened), I guess many of us had forged relationships that were more important than false doctrine and continued to hang around--many for far too long.

Yeah, I stayed around for an additional 19 years. There were few times that I made an effort to exit, but the alternating tactics of 'love bombing' and fearmongering kept me put, serving the 'upward flow.' Like most ex-members of the cult, there has been zero regret in finally making the decision to leave and actually following through with it. Better late than never.

Agree. I have zero regrets about leaving the cult. My only regret is staying as long as I did. WTF was I thinking?

JRS used the example of a nail located too close to a compass on a ship that would affect its accuracy by only a small amount in the short run, but have dramatic effects over the long haul, as the direction of travel took the ship farther and farther away from its intended destination.

The same can be said of those of us who may have noticed something a little 'off' at times, but who had already traveled a great distance, not aware how far off course we where, until we realized the ship taking on water.

We can all cut ourselves a bit of slack, as frogs boiled slowly, and as wayward travelers who unfortunately liked the tune the pied piper played long enough to overlook the danger of where this excursion was heading. 

puddington Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Agree. I have zero regrets about leaving the cult.
> My only regret is staying as long as I did. WTF
> was I thinking?

There were so many messages John preached through the years warning the congregation not to rely on reasoning of the mind, but rather "revelation," which conveniently had a tendency to align your life with the will of the authorities. At one point I recall John stating that you could not even have a "revelation," unless you were first submissive to authority. Of course, if you were submissive, that would mean you would likely be listening to the dictates of the authorities, and your mind would eventually be compliant to their desire for your life. He also stressed that those who were led by the 'unrenewed' mind would not be able to perceive Christ in the flesh, since his appearance would be contrary to their expectations. I suppose not many rational people would expect him to appear as an alcoholic, womanizing, lawless man in a Hawaiian shirt. That would require a revelation, which in turn, only comes to you if you are first submissive. Anyway, what is left of my brain is tired just writing this...so I need to shift gears. Hope everyone has a good day and stays safe :)

"The Kingdom of God is relationships. Now get back to work!"
(a KD proverb I submitted to John, which was immediately rejected)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/17/2020 11:25PM by changedagain.

Hello,
I'm out of the cult TLWC and have been since I was 15. My parents got out when I was 18. I was never sexually or physically abused. I did have emotional, mental, and spiritual abuse. I want to connect to people from these times and places to compare memories and give myself closure.

My grandma started her family attending TLWC in the 70s I think. My parents were 2nd generation who wandered away and moved to another state with no local churches. When they returned to the cult sometime in the late 90s, they stayed until about 2004. They were tasked with founding a church branch where they lived. In reality all they did was have a youth group. We also had to "submit" to the local church leaders unless they contradicted TLWC.

We traveled to DC once or twice a month and Dad always bought the propaganda, This Weeks, books and tapes. He was a full star member, 4 or 5 stars. MEat for the men. They were true believers, trying hard to establish a church. One of my friends said they were "part time" cultist because of the distance which I believe was a protective factor in me not being sexually or physically abused.

I remember John Dempster the pastor, John Linton who drew beautiful images. The DC church had a big pool, the church was separate from the house and out in a field? There was a list of businesses in the church that everyone was expected to support and buy from.

My parents followed the McDougall diet, very strictly, in late 90s until our hair began falling out. We were on the McDougal diet 16 months.

I also went to Shiloh several times. I was in YASP late 90s. I remember working in fields pulling thistles. One day a girl fainted from the heat, we had to keep working. There were many long sermons and church sessions in a nhug auditorium, at least 3 a day. We had to do a lot of chores like cooking,cleaning, working in organic farm fields even as children. If we weren't in church we were working until we almost dropped.

At Shiloh I liked the nachos with sprinkled cheese microwaved and vegan icecream they sold at night. Every year there was a play. There were wonderful fireworks.

At about 13 I had a lot of doubts and questions about Christianity and God, mainly the fundamentalist local churches and TLWC. This did not go over well with my parents. At 15 I graduated early from my hell of a local private Baptist school. MY parents sent me to San Diego when I was 15, 2001 to help save me. They had never been and knew no one in San Diego. Dempster said to go and I was sent.

I am not sure if I stayed 3 or 6 months, contradictions my memory of 3 months from my mother bragging about my 6 months mission trip. I was there at 9/11. Lots of violent prophecies and excuses for Marilyn and Gary not predicting 9/11. The border was closed and remained difficult to navigate.

San Diego was going through the Elijah/Elisha movement. I was considered for getting an Elijah but they decided my parents needed to assign an Elijah. I stayed with a foster family. They had a fig tree and avocado tree, 1 child around my age. I worked at the school filing papers and doing odd jobs. I was with an adult almost constantly. Once I went for a walk and they panicked and cam chasing after me.

I eventually drank the CoolAid sufficient to satisfy the church leaders and was sent home. I came out of that state a month or 2 later and refused to have anything to do with TLWC.

I would like to hear from anyone in the late 90s to early 2000s involved in Shiloh, the DC church, or San Diego. I want to know names of leaders so I can research further.
I was not sexually or physically abused, but being bent into submission and other brain washing was very painful and had long lasting effects on my life. I would like some type of closure and I think knowing more would help.
Thank you.

Welcome Leahsmiles! I'm sure there are a number of people that can help provide closure for you who post regularly on this site. Thank you for sharing a portion of your story.

WELCOME LeahSmiles.

We were briefly in the DC church during the Statton years (1982-83), until moving permanently to San Diego, so we were here before, during and after your stay.  It sounds like you may have been staying with the Michelle Jacobs family.  Great folks still and dear friends.

We have been gone from the fellowship for more than a decade, so our 'local knowledge' of the current status is a bit sketchy.  Bruce Larson, along with a 'new' younger generation, were running things back then.  We are very glad to hear you escaped the more egregious offenses endured by some.  It also sounds like your YASP experience was par-for-the-course, minus the worst of it.

Please feel free to PRIVATE MESSAGE me with any questions you might have.  I will do my best to fill in any blanks.

A few posts I came across from 2013 that mention the San Diego church and its oppressive, sadistic leadership:

Posted by: paleface
Date: October 09, 2013 10:54PM

The more I read Sierra's post, the deeper the grieving goes. So many families hurt. So many lives trashed and so many years wasted by the spiritual abuse from the LW leadership.

Yes, the San Diego LW church under Bruce and Gilee Larson has become one sick, toxic place. A woman that used to be a member a long time ago recently passed away. She had been attending David Cokas's church in nearby Spring Valley. Many of the folks from the SD LW church knew her. She was a lovely sweet woman. Now we hear that the LW people were forbidden to attend the memorial service for this woman. The Larsons didn't want anyone going.

Posted by: paleface
Date: August 15, 2013 02:57PM

Invisible -- it is very sad to hear about how your family has been impacted. I know of many families in the Living Word that have had similar experiences. Just this year, Bruce and Gilee Larson in San Diego have split up a family and forbid the kids from talking to their parents. This practice has been going on in LA for years. This causes extensive emotional damage.

Posted by: thisweek
Date: August 02, 2013 12:04PM

CHURCH OF HIS KINGDOM SAN DIEGO

BRUCE AND GILEE LARS0N IN CHARGE
THEY ARE LIARS
THEY HAVE HAD PEOPLE THROWN OUT OF THE CHURCH
THEY HAVE LIED TO THE SHEEP ABOUT PEOPLE IN THE CHURCH THAT ARE NOW GONE
THEY ARE FAMILY DESTROYERS. THE CHURCH HAS GONE DOWN IN ATTENDANCE SINCE
HARGRAVES PUT THEM IN POWER.
GILEE LARSON IS A VERY DISTURBED PERSON.
BRUCE IS SUPER COMPETITIVE AND GOT WHAT HE WANTED WHICH IS A POSITION.
THEY TOGETHER GOT RID OF MILLER.

HARGRAVES ONLY WANT THE SPOTLIGHT AND LIKE LITTLE KIDS WHO DON'T GET THEIR WAY THEY THROW A TANTRUM

THEY BLAME EVERYTHING ON BATTLE AND MAKE PEOPLE THE BATTLE

CHURCH OF HIS KINGDOM IS A GROUP OF GOOD PEOPLE IN SHELL SHOCK.
YOU LOOK AT THEM BUT THERE IS NOTHING TO RELATE OR TALK TO.

Posted by: paleface
Date: March 19, 2013 02:28PM

The Living Word has a church in San Diego called the Church of His Kingdom. It is led by Bruce Larsen and Gilee Larson. There are reports of spiritual, emotional and mental abuse being conducted on the church members by Gilee Larson. She has been designated as the representative of Marilyn Hargrave in this church and she is swinging a big stick. Families have been torn apart. Marriages have been taxed and sheep are being harmed. But Gary Hargrave and Marilyn Hargrave do nothing.

Why? Because, if you swear allegiance to Gary and Marilyn, you basically are given a license to do just about anything you want. It's all done in the name of creating an atmosphere for Marilyn. So I ask those of you in the midst of it all: do you really, really find any kind of a shepherd's heart in any of this? Are you still finding the fruits of the spirit in COHK? Is there still kindness and gentleness there?