FCSLC wrote:

I watched the You Tube video and had a trifle reaction to the “dead weight” accusation. For me, it’s clear that certain deceivers are not changing their MO. Not surprised ---- “dead weight” is another charged, cringeworthy and ridiculous sentiment belonging to the ongoing list of hustle terms headed by the all-time scam phrase, “divinely appointed.”

Absolutely! Question: I must have missed the "dead weight" comment. Was it something like "We're better off without the people who left because they were nothing but dead weight dragging the chosen ones down"?

Three massive egos demanding absolute obedience from members of the fellowship 24/7. It was hard not to notice that when things didn't go their way, each one would yield to a 'bad spirit'...and spin it, of course, as God's righteous anger.
Such a delight. :)

Reep wrote:
Also, for the record, John Robert Stevens never in his life was anything even remotely resembling a "zero with the rim rubbed out". Neither was Marilyn Cleland Holbrook Stevens Hargrave. Neither was Gary Hargrave. And yet, this is what the leaders demanded of all of us.

Reepicheep:
You Tube video: Charity speaking at 1:03:00 to 1:03:35. All the dropouts of the collapsed church are “Dead Weight,” and can be cut out so the true remnant can go forward.
Not surprising to me. Thanks.

Continuing to serve cult leaders should not be considered "going forward." That's the warped mindset someone who has been robbed of self-esteem by long term exposure to the "living word."
Those who chose to leave the cult, creating the opportunity to live a much healthier life--which includes the freedom to make their own decisions--are the ones going forward. They've left a suffocating hierarchal structure that micromanaged and exploited them, for something exponentially better.

FCSLC wrote:
All the dropouts of the collapsed church are “Dead Weight,” and can be cut out so the true remnant can go forward.

You are an enemy of the church.

Thanks!

I didn't mean it as a compliment.

Oh...
Hey, do you want to do lunch? I'm famished.

From November of 2018:

Posted by: lone.wolf
Date: November 19, 2018 08:22AM

I am a new user to this forum, but have been following the most recent comments since Shalom’s letters were made public. In time I would like to start reading from the beginning of the entire forum; I’m sure it will answer questions I cannot find elsewhere.

For days I’ve struggled with what to say, what not to say, and how to say it. I was born into the “church” (or as I refer to it, a business) in the early 1980’s. My parents both served under John + Marilyn, and my Mom is one of the Blix girls. Growing up I was always in my parent’s shadow, being referred to as “so-and-so’s child” at every church I visited/moved to. It wasn’t until I left the church 15 years ago, that I actually developed my own identity, separate from my parents. Many of my family members still attend various churches. Of my immediate family, I am the only one that “blew out”, and it has caused a rift in our relationship. Even prior to my departure, I felt like the Lone Wolf in my family.

I use social media like many and am following what’s being said on Facebook, although I have not shared any of my experiences publicly. My family members are watching the posts, too (some more than others), and they have been silent to my dismay. They do communicate with me still, but the words that come out of their mouths are still “walk talk”. They say what is happening is God’s will, and tell me a lot of bible stories as reinforcement. Occasionally they convey how heartbroken they are about the stories they read, but their actions don’t match their words. They are so deeply rooted in the church that I truly don’t think they would know how to lives their lives without it, and are trying everything they can to keep the church alive. I’m really trying to let love guide me in this process, but most days I feel hopeless knowing that I’ve lost my family to this cult.

When I “blew out”, it wasn’t because of disbelief in Gary & Marilyn, JRS, or the Living Word. I actually still believed that I was brought into something wonderful, that they truly loved me and my family, and I was lost for a long time after leaving. My first true moment of disbelief was listening to the word Gary brought just after Marilyn passed away. I was “allowed” to attend Marilyn’s funeral and was instructed to listen to it before the funeral. It’s been a couple years since I’ve heard it, so I’m going to point out the main points that really stuck out to me.


1. Gary saw the Lord huddled in a corner of his home, and he said it was the first time he’d seen him in his physical being. This happened a couple nights before Marilyn’s passing if I remember correctly.

2. He knew the Lord was there for Marilyn, thus he didn’t approach or speak to the Lord.

3. Not once in the word did Gary mention what the Lord physically looked like.


The reason these stuck out to me and really made me question the validity of Gary and TLWF, is the way in which he spoke. His tone was exactly the same as in all his words, and it felt very contrived and planned. What better way for him to continue to lead his people, than to making them believe that he has just seen Christ in the Flesh? Praise Gary, he has seen our Lord! Again, back to his tone. It definitely did not come across as someone who has just seen Christ. It sounded like someone reading a scripture from the bible, and he certainly didn’t fool me. When I saw Gary at the funeral to give my condolences, he told me that “Marilyn always prayed for me, and is continuing to pray for me.” I’m not entirely sure what that means, except that I was told that often by shepherds and elders during my time in the church. And no one actually told me why they were praying for me. Perhaps for me to put the blinders back on and submit to them?

On another note, myself and others have recently been contacted by pastors of the church we attended. Their intent is to “apologize” for their wrongdoings toward us. I have avoided any contact with the pastors and will not answer their text/calls. If they truly wanted to apologize, they wouldn’t have taken 15+ years to do so. I was shunned, alienated, and treated like an outsider ever since leaving. It certainly feels like this is just one step in their 12 Step Program to clear their conscious and revive the church.

Thank you all for being here, for speaking the truth, for making me feel like I’m not alone any longer. I seek answers from the early years of my parent’s involvement, that I feel they will not or cannot share because they’ve buried so many secrets inside themselves. Some of you were there with them, and I’ve been able to get some answers from your first-hand accounts. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

"Always thinking I needed to work harder...give up more"
That's a recurring theme on the various forums discussing this cult.

Posted by: Liamthomasusa
Date: November 10, 2019 03:06PM

Imapurple

After reading your last post my emotions welled up within me....remembering that time when serving TLW or prioritizing Shiloh as the number one focus of my life... lots of sweat equity.... always thinking I wasn’t good enough so I needed to work harder... give up more.... in my mind I justified what I gave in exchange for what I missed out in life because God’s word was always worth more than myself.

When I was told I was no longer welcome as a congregant in 1997, I suffered a great loss... yet as I began to find my way in life and began to recognize my own value, it became much easier to forget the hurt I had left behind. Factnet and RickRoss forums helped me realize I had been able to move away before the crazy nonsense intensified.... I am sure had I not been showed the door... I would have walked away on my own.

Please excuse my wandering...remembering the good memories of being a part of Shiloh to realize it is standing empty... a hollow ghost of it’s former glory....

I still am standing strong for those that have told their stories and for those yet to break free to tell theirs.... for it is the stories that shall diminish this cult from gaining any credibility.


Posted by: Mined
Date: January 26, 2020 10:18AM

Hello All!

I've been reading here for many many years - in fact, FactNet was part of my slow awakening that allowed me to escape TLWF around 10 years ago. :)

Just want to finally throw my hat into the ring here and be a voice as well as reader. I also want to thank so many of you who have been posting for so long. I know the pressure was on you, and has been on you at times from the self-proclaimed "leaders" and "protectors" of the organization, and I want you to know that your voices made a difference, and helped me find my way.


Posted by: changedagain
Date: June 20, 2018 10:21AM

puddington Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Did you find the posts from Gary’s daughter, Dawn?
> They will break your heart. What a poor example
> of a father. It says a lot about the “apostolic
> fathering ministry”.

As I mentioned, he told a group of shepherds that he did not have a daughter. Whether it meant he didn't think she was his biological child, or just wasn't his spiritual offspring, I have no idea. And I knew enough not to ask--lest I get blasted by the man of god and his acolytes.
The good news was attending that conference solidified my resolve to leave. It took me another 9 months or so to muster the gumption, but I did it...and the family agreed to leave as a unit. That was fortunate. It's obvious after reading the comments on this forum, and on Factnet, so many families were ripped apart over the issue of whether or not to be involved in TLWF...such a sordid legacy for the organization.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/02/2023 09:02PM by changedagain.

FCSLC wrote:

Reepicheep:
You Tube video: Charity speaking at 1:03:00 to 1:03:35. All the dropouts of the collapsed church are “Dead Weight,” and can be cut out so the true remnant can go forward.
Not surprising to me. Thanks.

Thank you very much, FCSLC. I was trying to explain this to some other people, but couldn't find the exact quote.

It's not surprising to me either. This psychological trick was used effectively by John Robert Stevens for many years. Gideon's 300, the chaff and the wheat, the sheep and the goats. There was one he used to inspire extreme dedication. It was about early Christians being sentenced to freeze to death for their beliefs. He always said that it was from Foxe's Book of Martyrs, but I have never been able to find it. He said that they chanted "100 we are, Lord grant that 100 we'll be when we stand before you". Then someone would break away and "deny the Lord" by running back to the fires. And the chant became "100 we were, 99 we are, Lord grant that 100 we'll be when we stand before you". Finally a Roman soldier came forward to complete the 100, and freeze to death with the other Christians. Stevens, of course, told this story masterfully and dramatically.

I guess the breaking point for each one is different. Hearing (if they even listen) the experiences of survivors may not be enough to wake some up. Even when it happened to someone in their own family. Tragic.

Well, Gary can call survivors "dead weight" and say "good riddance" all he wants. To me it's just another mind game. And I bet he misses the tithes and offerings.

Reepicheep wrote:


“Well, Gary can call survivors "dead weight" and say "good riddance" all he wants. To me it's just another mind game. And I bet he misses the tithes and offerings."

-------------------

Well put, your evaluation expresses my feelings exactly.

Not quite the inspirational Labor Day story I hoped to share today. That said, it did end on a positive note, with the author 'Aleutian' having a 'light-bulb moment" that presumably led him to leave the fellowship. It's all good.

Posted by: Aleutian
Date: January 09, 2019 09:12PM

I recently recalled a time I was volunteering working on ¨G and M´s¨ luxury home on Oahu in Hawaii. It was a hot summer day, and I didn´t bring any sunscreen.

I had the nerve to ask for some. After all, I was working for free. Instead of them helping me, they called for their ¨handler¨ at the time to help me. He was quite flustered that I didn´t ask him first and chewed me out, telling me to follow ¨divine order¨.

It was a good light-bulb moment for me. After that I said "F%$K this" haha.