Re: The Living Word Fellowship, The Walk, John Robert Stevens
Date: March 24, 2019 08:50AM
kbyrne my friend - I was thinking about that "protection" and all the unapproachable stuff that ALWAYS blew back on the people with the horrible and abusive message that we were "not enough" or worse.
I spoke with a friend of mine today who, like many of us, is a veteran of many years of being used as a tool, a pawn, a servant, etc., in the walk/cult for decades. When something goes wrong in any way, the conditioning comes hurtling back into your mind with the message "It's my fault. I don't deserve to be happy/successful/peaceful."
How many people say that to yourselves? "I don't deserve...." It's a lie. Hell, maybe it was the lying, cheating, stealing leadership that we were picking up on as they threw off all responsibility for their own harmful acts. I am still working on the tendency to punish myself when things go wrong because anything that I am not perfect in, makes me deserve to be punished. I had a music collection that was out of sight and collected over many years. It was fabulous for anyone who loved R&B, Blues, Funk, etc. And even a lot of 60's white guys. But I sold it for pennies once when the economy fell apart in 2007/08 because I didn't deserve to have it because I didn't save up for a rainy day. So the economic downturn wasn't punishment enough.
PUHLEAZE! Say it loud and with conviction: I Was/Am Not The Problem! I Deserve A Happy And Abundant Life!
Well, I can't tell anyone else what to do but as for me and my house (me and my pooch Emily), we are going to allow happiness to be in our lives.
Changedagain - I loved hearing your story of the paint company's surprise gift. It's unusual because usually, it's not the "giver" who is surprised that their hard work was a gift. Nice little swindle, eh?