After reading posts regarding Marilyn's two sides, the love/acceptance side and the anger/rejection side, I had this thought: perhaps she is bipolar.

I was part of a tlwf church for 25 years; I experienced the hostility/rage/rejection of the head pastor's wife. She and an alcoholic brother "counseled" (read: psych abused) me; this was around 1990. Oddly enough, Marilyn had once said during a service that this pastor's wife was a very kind woman (about 1989, in the North Hills church). Like M, she had two polarized sides. She and the pastor divorced not that long ago; neither is active now. The other counseling brother is divorced and recently remarried.

In 1988, my ex-wife was counseled by this pastor, his wife, and the other brother, along with other leaders of the church. Not long after, my wife said she was leaving me, that M had told her to divorce me. (My ex is now in Colorado.)

I left that tlwf church in 1995 for good. Since that time, I have learned of the divorces (all are remarried now) of all of the leaders in that church.

When too many things just do not add up, it is wise to leave.

One of those things for me: In a message "The Truth About John" Gary says plainly that leaders are accountable only to those over them, not those under them.

Wow. That is completely the opposite of what Paul expressed throughout his epistles. He felt both an accountability to the Lord and to the people to whom he ministered.

Another of those things: In the early 1990's I was one of two people in charge of checking the offering count. One of the tools given to me to do so was the accounting book that showed all $$ given by leaders and the little folks (like me). None of the leaders tithed. Far more of the little people did, and more.

A few weeks later, I submitted an official letter of resignation from that role to the head of our acctg dept (who is currently listed as a pastor of that church, and is also part of G/M's pastoral team). I "followed the leaders" and stopped giving any $$ for anything after that.

Another thing: The domineering side of M matches very well what John spoke of about women in 1976 in the message "Divine Order For Man And Woman."

I am certain I will recall more things that do not add up, to share in this forum in the future.

Welcome HESHEALING.

All contributions are greatly appreciated.

Welcome heshealing and thanks for sharing your experience. Interesting theory about M. I don't know if any of you attended David Cokas's wedding (Anaheim) in the mid 70's. He and Linda smashed their communion wine glasses and JRS wasn't to happy about that and scolded them. I later heard that in the van ride back to the valley, JRS had a tizzy fit about it. As I recall, there was lot of anger behavior displayed behind the scenes. In the very beginning of the intercession to kill the Nephilim, I recall a few of the Blix girls joining in and taking over the intercession and they were merciless. I never had heard prayers like that but everyone started to imitate them.

Welcome hesheling!

> One of those things for me: In a message "The
> Truth About John" Gary says plainly that leaders
> are accountable only to those over them, not those
> under them.

On a scale of 1-10, Gary's obsession with authority/respect is an 11.


> Another of those things: In the early 1990's I was
> one of two people in charge of checking the
> offering count. One of the tools given to me to do
> so was the accounting book that showed all $$
> given by leaders and the little folks (like me).
> None of the leaders tithed. Far more of the little
> people did, and more.

I had the same job in a local church as you did. Same experience. The new pastor (late 80's) brought a number of messages on tithing, had a decent job, but never tithed. To Gary's credit (did I just write that?), he tithed to the penny whatever local support we gave him.

p.s. My Mom was bipolar. My only brother was schizophrenic. I think this experience helped prepare me for the Walk. On a brighter note, my uncle (William McKenna) was stable, and a big time attorney with some ethics. I wished he had had more influence over my life.
[www.linchousing.org]

I'm finding it is not pretty when I take a good hard look as to 1.Why did I get in in the first place 2.Why did I continue to think it was only certain people and not the basic roots after being hurt and seeing what was done to others even many years later.
God has lots of work to do in me and I am absolutely open to having Him do it! I am so grateful for the books and comments expressed here, I now have a direction to start forward.
Just so you know, I have had no connection with anyone in LW since 1979 but in 1990s once I decided I needed Jesus back off the back burner for another try I have been actively reading and listening to the materials. I just kept believing it was a few local pastors etc. not the basic word that was very screwed up. Our family was torn apart, nothing was as it was.

[www.thedailybeast.com]

changedagain Wrote:
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> [www.thedailybeast.com]
> ke-didn-t-like-trump-s-dad-at-all.html


Interesting. Reads like a case of six degrees of separation btwn you and the Donald. Ha

If you hadn't sacrificed your life for the kingdom and could have a do over and finish college maybe your would have joined your uncle's firm?

I have no idea.
It would be fascinating if everyone who has written in this forum could glance at what would have taken place in their lives if they had not been given to "the kingdom." Perhaps I could have completely devoted myself to managing a Foster's Freeze ;)

My “do over” would be to honor my own opinion, capabilities and revelation. Instead of kowtowing to self-proclaimed spiritual authorities and feeling obligated to respect and regard “their” thinking as superior, I would give my own Spirit to spirit revelation the priority. That would have nipped in the bud the crippling need to have a covering of permission from others. Just thinking about it makes me want to have another shot of whiskey.