Thanks for the synopsis, Chaos. Only 7 years, huh? I think you must have had just a little too much backbone for that organization, what? Still, the behaviors that are perhaps still described as "codependent" can manifest after just a week or two of catastrophic stress. Sometimes the cult will push-push-push with nonstop activities, where the members are expected to be doing something culty every day of the week, which exhausts and isolates the members. This, of course, leads to stress, as there is so much pressure to continue and, with one's social circle dwindling until it consists of other group members only, the fear of being regarded as not committed enough/not having correct faith/not being willing to give enough to the group causes people to push themselves to continue with that go-go scheduling way past the point of common sense.
Most all the culties I've known (the ones who weren't born into the religion) joined during a particularly weak point in their lives, when they had experienced some sort of trauma and were vulnerable. Was this your story as well?
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Odd thing though, close, very close relationships melted quickly when I made it known that I was not going to bow down to this woman.
Such is the nature of intolerant religion, I'm afraid. You very quickly become aware of just how conditional their love is - so long as you do as they say, play along, and are properly obedient and submissive to authority (it's always about the authority), you'll be accepted socially within the group. But no matter how close you consider those members to be as friends, as soon as you reveal you don't believe precisely as they do, they withdraw. Only those who are judged "acceptable" will be allowed to be socially included. It's all very judgmental, everything positive has strings attached, but it's only when you start pulling away that you're really able to see it for what it is.
If your organization was anything like mine, the leadership always admonished the members to be careful to never stray from the one true path (or whatever wording they used) and to always watch out for those who are straying or who have maybe even stepped off the true path entirely. These may be likened to "wolves in sheep's clothing" or described in negative terms, perhaps going so far as to accuse them of mental illness, deviance, evil intent, and even psychopathology. So while the group's direction was acceptable, one perhaps believed these characterizations, because, after all, what would have to be wrong with someone who would want to leave such a wonderful group? Amirite??