Hello everyone. I am new to this site. I had never even heard about Landmark until a week ago. I am absolutely terrified for my friend.

I saw a red flag when he said the meeting went from 9am until Midnight. I think I made reference to the long hours but, he said he was really excited and it was highly recommended. He contacted me once during the seminar saying he was exhausted but was having a "breakthrough". He seemed really jazzed so I did some research into the company and VOILA, I am here. I thought it was a multi-level marketing scheme. I had no idea it was so insidious.

My friend has since stopped comunicating with me. He had exhibited the standard Landmarkisms - talking about breakthroughs, living in integrity, his "rackets", possibility of possibility etc. Last we talked he said he had paid $200 toward his next seminar (they gave him a discount) and he doesn't even have a job!!!! Is he a lost cause? I feel helpless and am extremely angry that he was taken advantage of. He is a fragile person that is an idealist...a person prime for the taking for an organization like Landmark.

Has anyone here done an "intervention" ?
Thanks,
Mikinos

This is just my personal opinion, feel free to disregard it.

I have had many friends get involved in all sorts of weird things, from Landmark, to Amway, to various cults, sects, groups, etc.
I have never tried to "save" any of them.

What i have done is given people the "facts" as were known to me.
I have emailed people info that the organization they are involved in might be a "cult" from an anonymous email address... (that sorta worked)...

You might notify his folks of what he is doing, but if the guy is 33 years old....

My approach now is to first realize i cannot "save" anyone from themselves. That might seem insensitive, but there is some truth to that.
But i would communicate with someone in a reasonable way, and try to present the opposing ideas to them.
But in my experience, it doesn't work very well.
The people who i knew who went Landmarkian just left the circle of people i know.

Just my opinion.

Also, try pressing the link, GETTING HELP, above.

[www.culteducation.com]

Coz

Thanks Coz,

"Saving him" may be a little dramatic in retrospect. I do know I can't save all the whales especially if they are intent on beaching themselves.

I have been trying to keep in contact with him by sending e-mails. He is not aware of the investingating I have done on Landmark. My past e-mails were encouraging him to think for himself and be positive.

I have never been a fan of organized groups.....now I am even less a fan. I prefer to follow my own path and stay independent.

Again, thanks for your response.

Mikinos:

Great that you have the discernment to do background checking for yourself prior to attending LE.

Unfortunately, my experience matches that of Coz. I reeally tried to help someone, well more than one person. Different cults, same idea.

You could arrange an intervention. I looked into that. To maximize success, you need the involvement of a number of his family or other loved ones. You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them drink. In my experience, the coercive persuasion by the expert 'con men' is much greater than that offered by an honest, direct, caring real person. sigh.

The most painful thing I've done is leave them to drown, and cut off personal contact because it was even more painful for me to continue to observe the process.

I am sorry.

Mikinos,

My spouse was involved with LEC and we tried an intervention attempt (unsuccessful)

Early on whenever I tried to "lightly" ask questions about the "training", it would be taken as a negative attempt against what the LEC "belief system" as I call it, and suddenly become physically rattled, neck veins would pop out along with never heard -before profanities!

Watch for your friend to say "IF you won't do the Forum, you don't trust me...You're stuck....

Having seen it up-front & personal....it's powerful stuff...

Read up all that you can...prepare yourself....but realize it will be from a distance...If he is not working he will probably be sucked in to volunteer a lot of time and you might not hear from/see him for a long time...

PAX

Ultaware:

Was this intervention with professional help, or a personal effort?

It was with professional help -

My friend is enrolled in the leadership program. What does all his mean exactly? What goes on at these leadership courses? Does he learn how to lead himself or recruit others? I would like to plant some seads in his head but, I don't want to be so blunt that he shuts off communication with me.

I am SOOOO Glad I didn't go to the introduction seminar. I like to think that I am pretty savvy but, I think they might have gotten to me too. They seem awfully smooth.

Mikinos,
Wow, your friend seems to be getting in deep, fast. I may have a few suggestions, I was able to get my girlfriend out of landmark, although it did seem difficult at times.

A couple things to remember...

Landmarkies become super sweet and "open" and really want emotional connection and stuff. If you feign acceptance of the beliefs, maybe even feign openness to it, and try to learn what he is feeling, then you will find that he will be super loving and accepting of you. Start off with that... reestablish your loving relationship with him. Don't even worry about the landmark stuff for the moment. Just see if you can reconnect with him on his own terms, whatever those may be. If you can't do this, then he has had a sea change involving your relationship as well, and I recommend just let him go. If he does still love you, then you can probably get really even closer to him right now, in a certain way.

What I have seen several times, and seems to be echoed by anectdotes throughout this board is, that one partner goes landmark, then the other one fights with them about it till they break up. It seems to create divorces, separations, misery etc. when it doesn't necesssarily have to.

Now, once your inside... then maybe you can make him a bit stronger and less dependent on landmark... eventually strong/brave enough to step out on a limb and be independent of landmark. At that point he can choose which parts of the philosophy to reject, accept.

I know this is hard and seems farfetched, but remember that he is through the looking glass now. Keep in mind that he is in a suggestible way... you need to take control of him if possible. (he'll respect your "power"). If you just whine and complain and argue with him, then you're just showing yourself to be helpless, unempowered, un-enlightened, etc. Meanwhile he has bonded with a trainer(s) who basically use a very confident, empowered, even authoritarian way of interacting with him. If you're slick about this, you can bond with him at this point... maybe, kind of like something that hatches from an egg and the first thing it sees it thinks iz its mommie. He's suggestible now. For instance, on a seduction website, I actually saw posts where these "speed seducer" types actually go to NLP and landmark seminar sites or nearby hotels, and attempt to pick up on the attendees, because they are so notoriously tranced out and vulnerable. YES I think that is very bad and unethical, also. But, you get the idea. Start to see how to maybe help your friend?

Anyways, I suggest you really learn what your up against, find out what he believes, etc. The crucial weakpoint in landmark's system/philosophy is that it on the one hand says "you're empowered, you're free, you don't need anything, you can do everything" but on the other hand is telling you what to do, restricting you, making you dependent, and defining who you are through all this membership recruiting etc. Eventually, that contradiction could lead to him walking away from landmark, saying in effect "it was an interesting experience, but I don't want to be a zombie/fanatic/etc.".

Anyways, good luck.

-Rough

Rough,

Your comments are "right on it" ! Having lost my wife to LEC, I experienced exactly what you detailed, but rather a mirror-image. She was highly vulnerable and extrememly argumentative and defensive of LEC.

I still remember how she kept repeating to me about the Harvard article (which Harvard had demanded LEC to stop using the Harvard name), to try to continue to recruit me. Whenever I asked any question to her about LEC, she would totally react physically...

PAX