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Your identity is incredibly powerful and it will get you to do whatever
it wants you to do if you let it.
A human beings identity is so powerful it can even get them to kill
themselves. This is not an overstatement.
Forgetting a few papers, smashing a phone. Childs play for an identity
left alone to take over a person.
Now, you should take this as a good thing!!! Hard to believe. But if
your identity is doing such obvious things to sabotage you it is a
symptom of your identity feeling 'threatened', and that's great!!! It
means you are doing some serious 'being' and your identity is not going
to like that at all....if you think about it, your identity has
survived quite nicely for your entire life (minus the first few years) by going
'un-noticed'. It was not your identity doing things, it was you doing
things, you just didn’t know why. Well, now you know why. You identity
is using you in order to survive and it will fight you every inch of
the way.....Only you can't fight your identity because fighting an identity
validates it's existence. What you want your identity to do is
'disappear'....and that means transformation.
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Your Mind is not You – Your Self is You
My self (my soul?) is by nature loving, giving, sharing, joyous. My mind is often cynical, critical, skeptical, conservative, selfish, etc. My mind is an inherited mechanism designed to enhance my chances of survival by keeping me "safe", by its own definition. It is fairly automatic in its response to situations. It would rather play it safe in a very self-interested mode than be generous or joyous. I am not my mind, my mind is just a mechanism for my survival – only one input for decisions and experiences.
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Winning formulas did not begin when we were born. Babies are ONLY possibility. Around age 2, language descends on us. Before that, there was no identify. There was only innocence and grace. The first time we have an experience of failing to be enough is when we start to develop our winning formula. The winning formula is the response to the first time we realize that "this should not be happening."