well, first off, i don't believe that the person my boyfriends brother presented to him was a licensed therapist, but of course proving that to my boyfriend would be a moot point, because he sems to be "going along" with all this bs, i keep telling him what i know and have read, of course he keeps insisting i'm wrong on everything, the whole goal is to become a "better man".

his brother had limited contact with him over the past 7 years, holidays, occasional phone calls, but now, they're talking all the time. his bros wife seems to think this is a great thing, and was asking my boyfriend when he was going to do the "weekend".

i don't have anyone to talk to, which is why i'm on this blog and also why i am seeking out therapy to voice all my issues and get PROFESSIONAL feedback.

i really do feel alone in all this. my boyfriend came back a wonderful guy, but i keep asking him how he could come back so different in 3 days.

yes it's really suspicious, but at least we keep talking (and fighting about this) thanks for listening.


i have to admit i have been extremely vicious and forceful with my opinions and facts, and the truth lies somewhere in between, but i know i'm closer to it than he is.

Tiggerwil:

I wouldn't loose too much sleep over your boyfriend's participation in the men's weekend or the point team. The Point Team will not encourage him to behave in ways which would undermine your relationship. Your boyfriend may attempt to enroll all the men in his life into the weekend, and he may begin to talk about weekend ad nauseum, but this isn't the end of the world. While there are certainly cultic attributes to the sterling institute, there is nothing that should throw you into a panic. each individual has his or her own personal journey, and for now, the point team is how your boyfriend is exploring what it means to be a man. for me, the men's circle was a phase that I grew out of. Others stay involved for years. But whether your boyfriend chooses to stay involved with the men's circles shouldnt be the determining factor in your relationship.

Do not attack your boyfriend's participation in the men's circles. All you will succeed in by doing this is pushing him farther away from you. Allow your boyfriend to participate in the men's circles without judgment or condemnation, while at the same time being clear about your personal needs and boundaries. If he is able to accommodate your needs and respect your boundaries, than why should it matter if he is involved with an organization whose philosophy you dont agree with?

The only caveat I would add is this: DO NOT PARTICIPATE IN THE STERLING WOMAN'S WEEKEND UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. If he starts putting pressure on you to attend the sterling woman's weekend, make it absolutely clear that it simply is not going to happen.

See [www.culteducation.com]

The Sterling Institute has a long history of serious complaints and personal injuries.

Deeply troubled group.

well i would like to say that it's ok for him to pursue his own interests, but we have children and i do maintain that there is a more therapeutic way to express yourself. these tactics are NOT effective at promoting personal growth, but rather to TRAIN a person to think a certain way, so that everyone in the group can think a certain way, the SAME way, and that's what scares me and thats why i care.

tiggerwil:

Your observation is dead on.

Sterling is trining "a person to think a certain way" and it's Justin Sterling's way of thinking.

See [www.culteducation.com]

And it seems like a pretty sick way to me.

thanks for your support, i just keep trying to reconcile the fact that he's into this stuff,

i thought i knew him. i keep asking questions to get him to think, but nothing i say about this group seems to

bother him. this is not him

tiggerwil:

In my opinion the group uses coercive persuasion techniques to shut down critical thinking and promote a group mindset.

See [www.culteducation.com]

Here are some red flags about what's wrong with mass marathon training or LGATs.

See [www.culteducation.com]

thanks for your input sean, and don't worry.....

i've already made it clear i will NOT be going to the womens wkend, if he wants to give me 500 bucks instead,

well that's alright too, because aren't women just driven by their lust for men with money and status? (just joking!)

all kidding aside, i'm so happy i found this blog, i at least feel like i am communicating with someone.

sean, feel free to express your opinions, as a former member your insight is extremely valuable.

moderator, i'm reading everything you're putting in your posts,

i'm taking excerpts and leaving them around the house.

believe it or not, i do have better things to do , but i feel this is important. thanks again to you both

does anyone know how much prep goes into this overnight on the point team for the sterling men?