I think the confidentiality agreement is still only verbal. At least, it was when I went in 2005. After that... don't know, but I doubt they'd make it written. That would make it seem too much like a cult and they can't have that!

... I am happy for all to know this ... I was deeply in love with a man who turned out to be a facilitor of Human Awareness Institute based in Crows Nest Sydney....

If it had not been for this website....I would never have known the full extent of what happens.. and why is such a secret...if only half o what I have read on this site is true...then even half is so sad and sickening and something in my wildest dreams I never thought I would be involved in...I want to do everything I can to talk to people by all and every means possible to make them aware of the way HAI slowly sucks people in... it is a cult...there is not doubt.....so destructive to normal relationship and all that is loving decent and pure.....

I was I can see now a 'recruit'.....please comment and help someone...please..... when I did not comply I was discarded....

Sheryl - yes, HAI is very much a cult. Consider yourself lucky that you found out before they started taking YOUR money, your time, and your ability to say no. They are very deceptive, and have you doing things that are a bit uncomfortable, but seem necessary and normal. Then they keep pushing for more and more and everything feels like a natural progression from the previous step. That's how they suck people in - making the people think that it's normal and that it's fine. You are always "at choice" - but they definitely try to push you toward what they think is the right choice - basically, to do what they say.

You had a narrow escape. Consider yourself lucky.

Dear Friend,,

Thank you thank you so much for your response... I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your words..I have been absolutely lost and desperate...

feeling like my mind was gone...my partner Allen would become hostile when I would even bring up the cost of these courses....hostile....
I would never let anyone push me into their defination of choice.......

My family are shocked beyond belief.......

Thank you

Sheryl

I need to rephrase I live in Sydney...and not in the US....we have our own HAI here.....

Quote
Sheryl Onuma
... I am happy for all to know this ... I was deeply in love with a man who turned out to be a facilitor of Human Awareness Institute based in Crows Nest Sydney....

Whilst I am sure folks here will emphasise with your story, ALL of the HAI Facilitators are American. They do not allow non-Americans to be facilitators. Are you sure that your ex- was not an Intern (supporter who sponsors HAI events)? Having said that there is one Facilitator who lives in America with his wife but was born in Australia. Was that him? I seem to remember at workshops run by this person that his language was quite earthy with the frequent use of the word f*ck - so much for the language of love (not).

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Sheryl Onuma
... I am happy for all to know this ... I was deeply in love with a man who turned out to be a facilitor of Human Awareness Institute based in Crows Nest Sydney....

Sorry for the previous post. I have now found your longer post.

It sounds as though your ex- Allen was an intern (supporter who sponsors HAI events with time and money) or even a mere assistant. These latter are essential to running the weekends because a. they pay to be there, and b. they act as links between the Facilitators and participants. It sounds as though this was his hobby, paying to attend and help on HAI workshops, with the 'reward' (for him) in being able to pick out the vulnerable women, and have sex with them. I am not surprised that you are upset. What a complete predatory b'stard.

BTW all of the HAI facilitators are American. They do not allow non-Americans to be facilitators.

And I am sorry that you had to find all of this out in such distressing circumstances. It seems that this male (not good enough to be termed a 'man') took advantage of your perceived loneliness and tried to suck you in. This is not the first time that vulnerable folks have been reported as being sucked into the formal and extra-curricular sexual activities available at all HAI weekends. Even the American facilitators sleep with each other on the weekends, even if their respective life partners are not present. Yet one of HAI's stated objectives is that "Everyone Wins" - I don't think so.

As you will by now have read on this and other threads about HAI the common themes seems to be nakedness, sexuality, multiple sexual partners, grooming for group sex, polyamory. I remember attending training to be an assistant and one of the things we were instructed to do was when it came to the 'let's all take our clothes off for the first time' (usually on the Saturday morning) that we should do so as quickly as possible in order to encourage all the new participants to follow suit. I remember hearing from a friend at one workshop that one of the women there ran screaming out of the so-called 'Room of Love' when she had to take all her clothes off in front of so many strangers. She had never even done so in front of her husband. She left the organisation (as many hundreds of others have done) when she learnt that naked sexual activities with random partners were not only an option but were prescribed in the scripted exercises at the higher level weekends.

It has always amazed me that Stan Dale devised HAI from his experiences in Japan when living in a Geisha House. These houses whilst of dubious reputation to the Western mind, were not actually houses for sex run by prostitutes. So where did Stan Dale get his ideas from? I think Stan Dale was basically a sexual pervert, and some reports have it that he was also a pedophile.

After his death HAI has now been taken over by some of the more financially astute American facilitators and even his surviving wife Janet Dale (he had two 'wives') has been kicked out.

So it seems that the cult-like aspect of HAI is going to get worse, along with the exploitation of vulnerable women (and men) such as yourself.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/23/2010 05:55PM by SeekingTruth.

Seeking Truth - The facilitator you are referring to is Peter Sandhill. I never heard that there was an exclusion for non-American facilitators. If there was, it likely was due to control relating to Stan Dales' management. With Stan dead and Janet stepping aside, it would not surprise me that the current management would take another approach.

Sheryl- I am sorry to hear you have been hurt. I too wish you had read the threads on this website before you chose to go to the workshop. HAI's lack of disclosure is and always has been a real problem. One thing that Bert Clanton, a long standing intern who has posted here, and I agreed upon was that sexual predator-ism exists in HAI. What we disagreed about is whether adequate safeguards existed. You are proof to me they do not. Bert thought the safeguards were adequate. I would have to conclude that to many people in HAI, you are an unfortunate accident, a statistical anomaly. Not very compassionate is it? They will tell you how sorry they are, but will do nothing take correct the underlying systemically created issues.

Sexual predators are the proverbial wolfs in sheep's clothing. HAI teaches these predators (and non-predators) how to develop communication and intimacy skills. Predators will use these skills upon unsuspecting, naive, or vulnerable people. How can you tell a sexual predator from anyone else before damage is done? You can't and that is the real human tragedy here.

Once upon a time I worked out in my head the following equation:
((Price of workshop x average number of participants/workshop) - (cost of rented facilities+catered food+ facilitators pay)) x number of workshops) = Workshop gross profit
Workshop gross profit - one full-time staff - office rent - telephone - postage - supplies - insurance - travel - misc. = net income

Many of the numbers were disclosed to the interns, as a whole, or directly to me at one time or another and the rest I could reasonably guess. In the end it provided only a modest amount for Stan and Janet to live on. There were just not enough workshops and participants to generate enough gross profit for this entity to create much wealth. At least that's the way it was a decade ago and I have not seen or heard of any major expansion that would yield any different result.

Sheryl - I truly hope you seek professional assistance with a qualified mental health practitioner in your area and find some resolution that will allow you to put this experience behind you.

I only wish I knew where to go to find a qualified person who would even being to understand about HAI...I agree and thank you I need help...I am in deep water....

I am reasurred to learn that it would appear no one has become rich... I should hope not... this organisation needs to publically exposed through the media and shut down.....

Sheryl- I misread the original post. I did not get that you actually did not attend a HAI workshop and your experience is about your relationship with an individual who participates in HAI. That is an important distinction for my reply to your original post. From my perspective, your boyfriend was in all likelihood a sleazeball predator before he ever went to HAI. Like I said earlier, HAI gives these predators communication and intimacy tools to use on the naive and vulnerable. No surprise he is attracted to HAI. Rather than being sucked in by HAI, he is most likely following his own prior deviant tendencies and feeling good about himself in the process.

Any good professional therapist should be able to help you, with or without knowledge of HAI. Unfortunately, abusive relationships are a fairly common occurrence and one that most are trained for.

Good Luck