Welcome, Bert Clanton.

I am sure I speak for many here who cannot wait for your insight. A long time "intern" is an asset to the conversation going forward.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/25/2009 08:06AM by Sparky.

Hi, all!

Since I've now sent more than 10 postings, I'm now eligible to send and receive PM's.

I'd enjoy receiving them, and will usually reply. But I'm now temporarily discontinuing posting to the Forum: I'm just spending too much of my time doing that.

Bert

To whom it may concern:

You should be very careful sending any personal messaging to Bert Clanton as he is a 20-year devoted participant and intern at HAI.

Anything disclosed to him could potentially be shared with HAI.

Don't disclose anything you would not want anyone to know.

Bert comes across as little more than an apologist and the last post he made pretty much confirms that.

When people avoid public discussion in preference to private messaging at this board, in my experience that means they are here to subvert the thread.

If Bert does anything through private messaging that upsets anyone please let me know.

I just checked the forums after a long time away. I am writing to let you know that Bert died in late October. He was 80 years old and died peacefully in his home.

I didn't want you to wonder why he wasn"t responding to communications. I am sure, if he could, he'd be choosing to respond from the hereafter.

Wishing you all well.

Siofra

siofra, thanks for the update on Bert Clanton. I am saddened for his loved ones.

Hello everyone. I stumbled accross this website and I am a first time poster here. I read most of what was being said about HAI, and I just wanted to give my 2 cents...

My wife and I completed level 1 about 5 years ago. I found the workshop on the internet, and I suggested that we attend in order to help us through our marital rut, in addition to it being an interesting activity we can do together. Like many people I assume, I had initial concerns that it was a cult and was a little apprehensive at first. The nondisclosure was a red flag, and there was little information or reviews available. However, I did find enough information to be comfortable attending with my wife.

After the workshop, my opinion is that it's not a cult. We didn't go back for the completion or level 2, because it just wasn't for us. However, I do believe in the fundementals, and think that many people would benefit greatly from the workshops. For that reason, I still recommend this workshop to certain friends, etc.

Much has already been said about what happens at the workshop, so it's not necessary for me to describe the exercises again. However, I took exception the suggestion that the workshop's objective was to discourage choice and encourage open sexual relationships.

It was repeated again and again that everyone has a choice to participate in the exercises, and many (if not most) people exercised that choice at some point during the weekend. Everyone respected these choices without negative comments, etc. It was suggested that we should let down our barriers and use the workshop to experiment and try new things...though it was not suggested that should be uncomfortable. I believe that encouragement, if you call it that, was only to reassure everyone that workshop provided an environment safe from the judgements and social pressures that they normally experience. It's important to note that most people did not participate in the controversial exercise of level 1 (visual inspection of the genitals). At no point did we feel pressured into doing something we were uncomfortable with.

It was disclosed prior to the workshop that part of the workshop was clothing optional. We are not nudists, but are comfortable with our bodies. The exercise that led to clothing optional portion of the workshop was interesting. Funny though, I think my wife and I were the only ones not to get undressed. Why? Because we would have been cold! lol. I did get undressed for the pool though...

HAI is friendly to poly relationships, though no particular lifestyle is encouraged. I agree that it is likely that advanced members would tend to gravitate towards that lifestyle. I don't see that as brainwashing, but a result from removing certain social barriers and allowing yourself to love. Well, maybe in a perfect world that is the way it should be. I don't know. But if all are in agreement and happy, I can't argue with it. Yes, if one spouse is not on board, then the relationship will be ruined...but it's kinda a stretch to blame it on HAI.

So, my wife and I didn't continue because it wasn't for us. Sorry, but I don't care for organic food or that rythmic music. I love crappy food and lots of soda. I'm not religious, and I lean towards the conservative side of the political spectrum. There weren't any phone calls asking to come back, etc. It was a good experience, but I believe it's enough that I can take the principles and apply them moderately to my own lifestyle. If I feel that we need a "tune-up" on our loving skills, maybe we'll go back again one day.

Of course you don't think it's a cult. After Level 1 it still seems relatively harmless. It's later on that things get freaky. And yes, they DO groom people for group sex. It's just not obvious at level 1.

Quote
ktdw
Hello everyone. I stumbled accross this website and I am a first time poster here. I read most of what was being said about HAI, and I just wanted to give my 2 cents...

My wife and I completed level 1 about 5 years ago. I found the workshop on the internet, and I suggested that we attend in order to help us through our marital rut, in addition to it being an interesting activity we can do together. Like many people I assume, I had initial concerns that it was a cult and was a little apprehensive at first. The nondisclosure was a red flag, and there was little information or reviews available. However, I did find enough information to be comfortable attending with my wife.

After the workshop, my opinion is that it's not a cult. We didn't go back for the completion or level 2, because it just wasn't for us. However, I do believe in the fundementals, and think that many people would benefit greatly from the workshops. For that reason, I still recommend this workshop to certain friends, etc.

Much has already been said about what happens at the workshop, so it's not necessary for me to describe the exercises again. However, I took exception the suggestion that the workshop's objective was to discourage choice and encourage open sexual relationships.

It was repeated again and again that everyone has a choice to participate in the exercises, and many (if not most) people exercised that choice at some point during the weekend. Everyone respected these choices without negative comments, etc. It was suggested that we should let down our barriers and use the workshop to experiment and try new things...though it was not suggested that should be uncomfortable. I believe that encouragement, if you call it that, was only to reassure everyone that workshop provided an environment safe from the judgements and social pressures that they normally experience. It's important to note that most people did not participate in the controversial exercise of level 1 (visual inspection of the genitals). At no point did we feel pressured into doing something we were uncomfortable with.

It was disclosed prior to the workshop that part of the workshop was clothing optional. We are not nudists, but are comfortable with our bodies. The exercise that led to clothing optional portion of the workshop was interesting. Funny though, I think my wife and I were the only ones not to get undressed. Why? Because we would have been cold! lol. I did get undressed for the pool though...

HAI is friendly to poly relationships, though no particular lifestyle is encouraged. I agree that it is likely that advanced members would tend to gravitate towards that lifestyle. I don't see that as brainwashing, but a result from removing certain social barriers and allowing yourself to love. Well, maybe in a perfect world that is the way it should be. I don't know. But if all are in agreement and happy, I can't argue with it. Yes, if one spouse is not on board, then the relationship will be ruined...but it's kinda a stretch to blame it on HAI.

So, my wife and I didn't continue because it wasn't for us. Sorry, but I don't care for organic food or that rythmic music. I love crappy food and lots of soda. I'm not religious, and I lean towards the conservative side of the political spectrum. There weren't any phone calls asking to come back, etc. It was a good experience, but I believe it's enough that I can take the principles and apply them moderately to my own lifestyle. If I feel that we need a "tune-up" on our loving skills, maybe we'll go back again one day.

Level 1 is quite benign, a bit like a supermarket 'loss leader.' But once sucked in persuasive pressure is then applied to do levels 2, then 3, then 4, etc., up to level 8.

From levels 3 onwards is when the opportunities for sex becomes available in the so-called Room of Love ("barriers are available if you want").

But at lower levels sex can and does take place in the bed rooms &/or dorms between participants.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/03/2010 01:41AM by SeekingTruth.

I would appreciate knowing whether currently the Level 1 confidentiality agreement is still something that is orally presented at the beginning of the workshop or whether it has a written form now so the applicant can see it before showing up for the workshop - something to read at registration/signup time.

Quote
zello
I would appreciate knowing whether currently the Level 1 confidentiality agreement is still something that is orally presented at the beginning of the workshop or whether it has a written form now so the applicant can see it before showing up for the workshop - something to read at registration/signup time.

Don't know, I think that at all of the sessions I've been on there has only been a collective verbal agreement.

But the 'agreement' seems to achieve four objectives:

1 - To protect the organization's reputation by inhibiting free and open public discussion about what goes on at the various workshop levels.

2 - To protect the organization's income, in that if intending participants know what they are going to be asked to do at sessions then they might not book for a workshop, or they may pull out after having second thoughts.

3 - To ensure the secrecy of the activities so that participants end up having complete confidence in the facilitators (who mainly work from scripts) and quickly start believing that these 'leaders' know exactly what they doing, getting participants to do, and that to follow their lead is safe.

4 - To protect vulnerable participants who might make very personal and emotional shares in the large group, small group, couple scenarios.

The first three are to protect the organization. The last is the only reasonable objective.

At every level's intro. session, having been sold the importance of the 4'th objective, every one raises their hands to agree to complete confidentiality. They do not really think about the first three objectives. I have often wondered what would happen if someone raises a perfectly valid objection to the confidentality agreement such as "why are you treating the adults here like children with so much secrecy as to what goes on in the sessions?" "Why can't you (HAI) be open and honest, and allow adults the freedom of choice to participate or not?"

Yet another example as to how HAI misleads its paying customers.



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 01/05/2010 06:00AM by SeekingTruth.