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laarree

Hey Laarree,


To answer your question briefly. As far as why the staff left, as far as I know there wasn't a specific cause. I think they left basically for the same reasons you and I left. Tired of the long hours without pay - that can get to anyone. I don't think there was a specific event that drove everyone away, but I wasn't on staff back then so I really can't say 100%.


What was interesting about that exodus was how many people were part of it. I can see people leaving here and there, but they'd obviously had discussions about it - otherwise, why would 20 full timers leave on the same day.

To whom it may concern:

Amhebera has been banned from this message board.

Hello. I read your blog with very great interest. I had a horrible experience after having taken Direct Centering in 1982. A very strong emotion came up "over the phone" and I have never really been myself since. I have tried several forms of therapy and noe of these worked at all. Just a lot of circles. I lost concentration and a good sense of grounding. I was very glad to read what you had to say. I also noticed that you had seen an exit counselor. After noting this, I too wish to see someone who may be of assistance for me. I am willing to try anything to regain some parts of myself that I feel I have lost. Should I just look on the website for someone or do you know of someone who would be able to help me come out of it? I have been very responsible since that time, worked, kept busy, etc. I am just so grateful that what you wrote hit home for me and that perhaps even after all this time there may be some light at the end of all this.

My regards,

Larry Esposito

[Moderator note: Posting contact information is against the rules you agreed to here.]



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/08/2010 09:31AM by rrmoderator.

They're networking on Facebook. Currently targeting Santa Fe NM
Check out these profiles to see how many mutual friends they got:
[www.facebook.com]
[www.facebook.com]

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ndrw
They're networking on Facebook. Currently targeting Santa Fe NM
Check out these profiles to see how many mutual friends they got:
[www.facebook.com]
[www.facebook.com]

Bayard and the other "elders" like Greg have been on Facebook for a while. I don't know if their friend counts are growing or indicating anything ominous in any way. I really wonder how much business they do selling their online courses and ebooks, and how many new people are attracted to what they do, compared to other newer and more popular New Age groups and "healing" activities out there. I'm convinced that Bayard is odd enough that his personality as it comes across in online videos naturally repels a high percentage of people who otherwise might be interested in Immunics.

I did Direct Centering in the early 80s, when I was only 16. It was a pretty traumatic experience for me.

I got involved through est - I had done est when I was 13 with my parent's blessing ( I was the last holdout in my family - my mother, father, and sisters had all done it).

My mom and dad were rarely home - my dad away teaching or lecturing, my mom volunteering for est. So I found that though I could not get a ride or get funded to take dance classes or anything normal, I could get funds and rides if I wanted to participate in est.

I'll describe my est experiences on the appropriate thread, but suffice to say, it was a lot milder than DC. DC was f-ing insane. First of all, I travel to Philadelphia by train and am met by "Joe". Joe takes me to an apartment he shares with several members of the group. Day one of the event, I was really confused by what it was I was supposed to be 'getting'. You stood on stage and were supposed to be present, and cry and freak out and I don't know what. The assistants held on to a bit of info I had revealed that I didnt' want to be like my mom and started trying to convince me I was exactly like her. One of them came up on stage and started tapping me on the head with a plastic hammer, to annoy me to the breaking point.

I freaked out and beat her up - pushing her into the stairs, while everyone laughed at me.

That night, I went with my other est friends to stay at Joe's apartment. He came in late when we were all sleeping, with an attractive female assistant, and the two of them proceeded to loudly make love in the middle of the room. I was a virgin and was really embarrassed and freaked out by this display.

Day two was more of the same.

I can't believe my parents allowed me to do this workshop, and I stayed far away from est, DC and any other group after that.

Hi terramaid, I was surprised to find a new post on this thread. I got an automated email alert about it earlier this morning. Yours is the first in 5 years(!).

So you did the DC course at 16 unaccompanied by either of your parents? That was negligent of them. DC was already pretty bizarre by the time I left, but I guess it got even more bizarre afterwards. Tapping you on the head with a plastic hammer while on stage? Physical conflicts? Sex in front of a teenager without a second thought? Craziness was flourishing there, and I'm sure Bayard enjoyed orchestrating all of it.

I know someone, a fairly well-known and controversial writer, whose mom had her do the est training when she was 13 years old, way back in January 1979 here in New York City in the same training I did. She had been sexually abused multiple times when she was younger, and she absorbed the idea from est that she was responsible for her sexual abuse, a lesson that screwed her up for a long time. It's sad that parents were oblivious to the possible traumatic consequences of having their teenagers do these workshops, but then again, parents can be so oblivious to so many things. I'm sure there are countless other people with stories like this out there.

I'm curious about what motivated you to find this discussion about DC at the point in time. I'm always happy to correspond through private messages if you want.

I took DC probably around 1981 - I was sixteen. I still can't believe my parents gave permission as they definitely did not investigate it.

One of the EST people we knew wanted me to do DC. My whole family had done EST and I was very active in the group in NJ. It was pretty much the only activity I was doing - I was doing logistics for their large events and being exposed to a lot of inappropriate stuff from the adults around me.

In any case, DC - what a mess.

I showed up in Philly to do this, the center itself looked like a cult lair. People were living upstairs, it was cold and everything had a very un-est-like, unprofessional, thrown-together look to it.

I was housed in the apartment where several DC cultists lived. I think the host's name was Joe. The first night we were treated to a very loud, public act of sex right on the floor with us NJ people sleeping right nearby. Joe had brought a very pretty cult member home with him and lying there, a virgin, I was terrified to move. In the morning, other grownups 'shared' how they felt witnessing the public sex. I had the impression that this was done on purpose, but I have no idea why.

To break us down or make us feel vulnerable?

In any case, DC was baffling.

You stood on a stage and were picked on by DC members. Gavin first asked me what my fears were and then told me I was all of those things. I think the point was to elicit a reaction. Those who stood on stage and eyeballed the audience intensely or cried were met with approval. Those, like me, who stood there not getting it, were broken down. Several female DC members stood and tapped me on the head with a plastic hammer until I got enraged and started kicking and hitting them. They laughed as I beat them up.

I was broken down enough then to call my mother and tell her I loved her. I didn't really feel like I loved her but mission accomplished, I was broken down enough to do whatever I was told by then.

I found Gavin intensely creepy and going back to EST after this I felt much less interested in any kind of group therapy. ever.

Not knowing this got posted, I just re-posted it!

Yes, I look back and can't believe this s&&&. I did EST when I was thirteen as well. More weird stuff there as well. I quit when EST decided to change its name to Landmark and even at my age (17) I thought this seemed not quite right...and I was starting to have a lot of distain for all these grownups who seemed to have so much stake in believing whatever they were told. I'll PM you.

terramaid wrote:

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I had the impression that this was done on purpose, but I have no idea why.

To break us down or make us feel vulnerable?

I am just guessing, I know nothing.

* Perhaps this was done to see whether anyone would get up and leave. Domineering
leaders want to get rid of people like that early on.

* Test and see the reactions of the people who remained. Anyone giving intimate
disclosure about their emotions would provide exactly the information needed to
break them down in later sessions.

Make no mistake. LGATs (est was the first one) have been around for 40 plus years.

The LGAT leaders have had ample opportunity to study people and test us, under extreme and hazardous conditions. They care only for power and profit and are unrestrained by conscience.

LGAT leaders probably know as much as dictators and their secret police do.

The ones who get religious tax exempt status or who stash their millions in
offshore accounts and shell companies pretty much operate with impunity.

Which is why so many of them dislike our discussions on the Cult Education Institute message board!