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Be a pillar first and then find your church, club, community.
That's the hard part though, [b:7875dd669d]if we could be pillars first, we wouldn't [i:7875dd669d]need[/i:7875dd669d] anyone else[/b:7875dd669d]. The truth is, we become pillars on the strength and nurture of other people, that's just how we're made, no one stands alone and remains strong.
I don't think that's right. Sure, many who join organisations are looking for outside help to 'grow'. It'll happen regardless. The point I was trying to make is that we shouldn't lose our sense of self (whatever that may be) in any relationship with another person or organisation. From my experience, a relationship's overall health is proportional to the strength of each of its members. Sure, there's always scope in a strong, healthy relationship for 'lapses' and 'foolishness', but IMO, without a level of 'pillarness' from a participant, there's too much room for abuse. It won't always happen.
What am I trying to say? Basically, I think you have to be aware of the potential dangers of joining any relationship or organisation if you're going in half-dressed and half-witted (in the loveliest way possible, of course).
And there is always growth. Always.