sonnie_dee,

What is your suggestion in regards of self development (mentally) if you dont think selfhelp books are good, let alone cults or LGATs?
How can you let go of unwanted behavior like anger?And I dont mean healty anger.

Question Lady,
Your posts bring back several bad memories of what I went through with my wife. After her returned from PSI7 she was cold and unemotional towards me, but her emotion was over the board with the members of her group. When she left me and filed for divorce she made the statement several times that she wanted to keep “emotions” out of it. She was so cold towards me after her return from the ranch. She had contact with her pre-PSI friends after she left me but she couldn’t keep the lies straight as to why she left. Once her friends started talking about the situation they discovered she couldn’t keep her lies straight. I have since run into some of her friends and they don’t have any contact with her anymore.
I know that the situation with my wife caused me a lot of emotion pain. It affects my health and my outlook on life. Even now I still think of this situation and it causes me pain. I can’t even think of starting another relationship without thinking of what my wife did to me. I always think “Will she betray me like my wife did?”
I am so sorry you’re going through this.

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sonnie_dee
I don't think people lack compassion more that they are trying to put the teachings they have learnt into practice and these teachings often overtake a persons natural compassion.

The thing is, the "teachings" teach self-rejection, self-disconnection and lack of self-compassion. When one follows them one [i:f553d90a9c]will[/i:f553d90a9c] be cold-hearted, as that is the nature of the "teachings", toward self & others.

Similar to your friend who was diagnosed with cancer, when my father died and I was sad, I was chastised for being a VICTIM & wallowing. There was a leadership meeting one night soon after he died and in my gut I did not want to go. I got phone calls that that's where my people, my support would be. So, under pressure I got in my car and started out. A few minutes later I checked in with my REAL self, the self that has compassion, and knew that meeting would be the WRONG place to be in my grief and vulnerability. I turned the car around and went home. I had envisioned myself in the meeting and I saw clearly that what I would get there would be criticism (which THEY said was support). I started to see the tip of the iceberg of the LIES I'd been trying to live by for six years. And my father's death is what really set me free from it.

Thanks to all of you for sharing your experiences and insights. Most of all, thank you for your [i:942ba4ffd9]caring[/i:942ba4ffd9].

I think you are right Sonnie Dee that he is just trying to put into practice what he has learned, this time on me, whether it fits or not. I also understand that he is disconnected from himself and therefore can't connect with me.

Yet, none of this changes the fact that I was sick and I really needed him and he showed me no compassion. That hurts. I guess the LGAT's would say there is something wrong with me for feeling hurt and they could fix that and then I could stay married.

I think that the hurt is telling me that I can't count on this guy and I need move on with my life and put my energy into relationships with people who have compassion.

So Tippytoe, I agree that it is useful to look at oneself first. I am. I realize that I have an expectation that spouses care about and take care of each other when they are ill. I think these are reasonable expectations. I also realize that lots of "self help" programs call all expectations bad bad bad. I disagree.

People who don't show empathy scare me. If you don't empathize with another person, you can do anything to them because you won't feel their pain.

"Looking at oneself" is a unique endeavor when done the lgat way. As usual, there's a twist. The lgat way means that when you "look at yourself" you are looking for how YOU are at fault, how YOU are screwing up creating your reality.

In your case question lady, the thing you're doing that's screwing you up is having expectations. See how easy it is to find fault with yourself? If you're ever in doubt that YOU are all screwed up just remember this: Everything that ever goes wrong in your life is YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT!

I posted this on another thread. But feel its an appropriate post for this one.

More good stuff exposing "The Secret" for the garbage philosphy it is.

Very good read.

[in.integralinstitute.org]

I found this portion very applicable to what Klemmer & Associates produces in people. It also says it very well on what seems the main issue with participants of LGAT's

By teaching that the world quite literally revolves around you, The Secret encourages and entrenches narcissism. In developmental psychology, narcissism doesn’t mean an unhealthy obsession with thinking only about yourself, it means you can’t think about yourself. The capacity for self-reflexive awareness just isn’t there. The entire world and everyone in it is simply an extension of your-self, and you are literally unable to take the perspective of another human being. This is not mystical union; this is pre-rational fusion, and without the ability to take the perspectives of other sentient beings, the entire foundation for ethics evaporates.

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skeptic
"Looking at oneself" is a unique endeavor when done the lgat way. As usual, there's a twist. The lgat way means that when you "look at yourself" you are looking for how YOU are at fault, how YOU are screwing up creating your reality.

In your case question lady, the thing you're doing that's screwing you up is having expectations. See how easy it is to find fault with yourself? If you're ever in doubt that YOU are all screwed up just remember this: Everything that ever goes wrong in your life is YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT!

Vicitm Bashing is, well, fricking evil.

I think Skeptic was being sarcastic.

Right, Skeptic?

I think Skeptic has a wonderful way of using satire to show the ridiculoulousness of these teachings. :lol:

I [i:d73d562fcb]was[/i:d73d562fcb] being sarcastic

Thanks question lady :D