I was also blindsided by my husband's involvement in another "LGAT" program. (The Release Technique marketed by Larry Crane). The more I learn about all of these programs I am struck by the similarity of their techniques). I wish I'd known then what I know now. I really blew it at first and made things worse. I blasted by husband with an onslaught of critical information. This was not helpful and drove him further in. We aren't out of the woods yet by any means but what has been helpful is :
to remain consistently loving and concerned
to keep or re-establish rapport
to shift the focus from "getting him out of the group" to empowering him to think for himself.
when he uses thought stopping cliches or group jargon, ask for clarification of what that means
ask open ended questions and be prepared to wait a long time for an answer
getting him out of town for a time to break the daily interaction with the group
You aren't alone. There are many people on these boards whose relationships have been damaged by groups with mind control characteristics.
Mr. Ross has great coping tips. [www.culteducation.com
The family connection
Here is a post from these boards under the topic Landmark that I have found very helpful:
Sorry to hear about what happened with your wife. This is very sad and your feelings/reaction are normal. It sounds like your wife is still on the initial "high" from the Forum, and this will be an exciting time for her and a difficult time for you. It's like a drug and they don't want to let go of it and right now Landmark can do no wrong. She has a coach and a new family of self-affirming friends that praise her every move and word. It's addicting -- and Landmark knows it.
This self-affirming atmosphere is why debating her doesn't work. It just drives them deeper into Landmark's grasp. It's human nature to move towards approval, and I believe Landmark counts on that. I know it's hard not to debate and tell her the truth you know, but she is resistant right now. They are trained to resist debate especially from concerned loved ones/friends/etc. and they are trained well. Her coach will keep re-affirming Landmark philosophy to her, so they have an internal support system. It's infuriating, but that's the reality.
The best advice I can give is that which I received: be supportive of her activities outside of Landmark, don't debate or argue with her about Landmark now, let her bring up the subject and when she does, gently discuss your concerns with her. Essentially, back off and wait for her to come down off the high and for the resistance to weaken some. Be prepared for "blocking" techniques that dismiss your information (you can search the board for more info on that). You have to be a welcoming place, or she won't want to come back and discuss it with you. If and when she wants to leave, then you'll be there and able to help her. Until then, you just have to stay in the game. She may never be ready to leave, in which case at some point you have to decide how much of this you can take. You have to take care of yourself too and not be a martyr. Unfortunately, the road out of Landmark is a lot longer and more uncertain than the road in.