Dear ex-impact,

Thanks for sharing. I am glad you had a friend who didn't give up on you. I don't want to give up on my husband but it is so hard and some days I just don't know how much longer I can go on.

I read some of your earlier posts. It is amazing how similar all these programs are. I was particularly struck by this part of what you said about the Impact training:

" . . . conditioning the trainees into believing that the cause of all dysfunction and pain in this life is caused by the 'Ego Mind'." "They do not want you to use the word 'Think'. The mind is this enemy inside of us . . . ". "When someone is hesitant or confused (justifiably so) during a process or conversation with the training, a trainer will coach that individual to "STOP THINKING. "[/color:8a58848611]

In The Release Technique they also teach that people's problems are cause by their egos and/or minds. (Mind of course has a different meaning than in ordinary English usage for "language loading" purposes.) They teach that the mind is your enemy. They tell people to "stop figuring it out", especially if they question something. Another cliche is "could you let go of being so smart?"

I would be most appreciative if you would provide some examples of things your friend did to help empower you to think for yourself again. If you can, it would be great if you would post under a new subject rather than Avatar help so that more people will see it. Your contribution to this board really helps my understanding. Thanks so much.

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Dear ex-impact...I would be most appreciative if you would provide some examples of things your friend did to help empower you to think for yourself again. If you can, it would be great if you would post under a new subject rather than Avatar help so that more people will see it. Your contribution to this board really helps my understanding. Thanks so much.

You should also look at what another user named formerimpactgrad has said concerning this. I’ve found their perspective helpful.
Well, I'm not sure if [i:5e211766dd]exactly[/i:5e211766dd] what my friends did for me would work for everyone. They used my familiarity with logic and philosophy against me. It was a combination of [i:5e211766dd]what[/i:5e211766dd] they did [i:5e211766dd]how[/i:5e211766dd] they did it. In truth, I started to see some problems within Impact and their teachings, but I rationalized them and "put them on the shelf" as Impact is wont to coach us.
The friend primarily responsible for helping me was educated first of all, and second, she had been involved with the trainings somewhat, so she knew exactly how to tailor her arguments for my particular needs. I knew she hated the place and the people, but I didn't let it affect me or our relationship. It was a source of contention, but we rarely talked about it. She would attack me in a roundabout way, giving me tidbits of logical problems with what was going on at Impact, without directly attacking it.
The problems she would present would gnaw at me because they were built on sound reasoning. For example, she once asked me why I was tolerating the negative way I was being treated and saw the way others were treated by the trainers at Impact when I would tolerate no such behavior from [i:5e211766dd]anyone[/i:5e211766dd] in my life outside of Impact.
Another one from my other friend was more blunt: "If you are supposed to love everyone unconditionally and there is no right or wrong, then you would have to support me if I decide to go out right now and kill your mother. In fact, you should [i:5e211766dd]want[/i:5e211766dd] me to do it AND perhaps give me the knife." That played to my knowledge of philosophical ethical arguments.
These are just examples. For the most part they would never attack Impact directly, allowing me to make up my own mind about the situations I would witness. One that worked on me was when I would get into "crystal clear" or “trainer” mode and be abrasively honest. They would calmly say something to the effect of: "Ok, well I respect your honest opinions of me, but do you need to act like such a dick about it? Its hard to take your criticisms and "coaching" seriously when you are being disrespectful and assume you can talk to me like a subordinate."
It’s difficult to want to give any kind of blanket answer without knowing the intimate details of the person involved, what their problems/faults were before going into their program and the exact workings of the program they are in. Most of the advice that is given on this topic I think is based on the mental conditioning techniques all (or most) of these programs implement, but I think the devil is in the details. Another problem is that when loved ones are involved with these groups, we tend to resort to desperate damage control mode, which can actually aggravate the problem rather than resolve it. This is the main reason I don’t want to post a separate thread, simply because there are subtleties in each group that have to be addressed, and Impact is the only one I consider myself to be an expert on. However I do look at threads about other programs and contribute when compelling similarities arise. More personalized help can be difficult to find online, but I will do whatever I can to help whomever, whenever :)

Dear ex-impact,

Thank you for the information about how your friends helped you. What you said makes sense to me and I think it will help me tailor my approach to the situation I am dealing with.

I am so glad you are willing to share your experience for the benefit of others.