Date: August 24, 2006 03:45AM
How ridiculous. Who are they to decide who is a bad person or a good person? The farther away I get from this, the more ridiculous it all becomes.
I remember one time, in one of his infamous forums - the great one is supposed to speak tonight, so everyone gather round - he made a comment about people taking notes. He said those taking notes were the most damaged among the group. I said to the woman next to me that I guess I was really damaged then, because I took copious notes. What a stupid thing to say. Oh, okay, I guess I should stop taking notes now then because I wouldn't want everyone to think I was one of the most damaged among the group, and we wouldn't want you to remember anything you actually heard here because then maybe you wouldn't pay to come back for more .... who knows what the intent of that philosophy was, but it made no sense to me and would never, ever be said by someone who was not trying to manipulate or control the people in the group. That was just [i:3aa8c343e3]one[/i:3aa8c343e3] of the ridiculous things I experienced there. There was the honor dollar, which was that everyone was supposed to contribute, on your own, in strategically places donation boxes, a dollar an hour for every hour we spent there outside of classes, kind of like a club dues/membership, for the privilege of being in the building - like you don't pay enough already. Nancy said once, with a barely concealed smirk, that they needed it to pay the rent, or they might have to start charging yearly membership dues - I had all I could do to keep myself from guffawing. People who were there generally were there because classes had just ended or were about to begin (which you've paid through the nose for already) or were there to do some work for them for free, or a social event which they organized and invited everyone to attend - for which they wanted payment from you for your time spent in the building??!! Then there was cafe duty - pay someone and clean your own building, I don't even clean my own house, why should I clean yours - we're paying enough for the classes and intensives as it is ... nonsense, all of it, really.
I wanted to believe it was nothing other than the pretty picture they were trying to paint for everyone, because I was in a major crisis in my life, in pain, desperate and searching for answers, as were many I met there. I wanted this to be it, but the red flags kept flying in my face and I just couldn't keep ignoring them.
The whole thing is sad and pathetic and I'm sorry for Toni and that it's ruined her life and other's as well.