Well, it's been quite a surprise to see my story lifted to the front page again! So, I thought I would update it.
My girlfriend, after first agreeing to go through everything that was done on the courses she attended, pulled back from it. Obviously, people, especially when they have been in these types of situations, need to do things when they are ready and she hasn't been ready. :(
Her 'guru' recently came to my city and spent a lot of time here. During that time she was completely unreachable, even to share a cup of coffee. He persuaded her to do another course with him, which he called 'Teach only love'.
She seems to have got some benefit from it (good), and I will never rubbish everything this guy has taught.
Certainly, she is a little more approachable, but she is very fragile. A simple idea in casual conversation can bring her to tears.
After having her trust in self destroyed, she has, as a result, struggled to trust anyone else, which obviously makes one more suggestable. The frustration I have in knowing that I have remained completely honest throughout this ordeal, and that this man has not, and that she is aware of this, is so hurtful.
He, who came in as a stranger with all the answers, has basically supplanted all the loving people in her life, and he has certainly created a situation in which we have become viewed as obstacles rather than support. Today, she is quite scared of allowing herself to get close to me, of allowing me to get close to her. :cry:
My problem with his teachings stem firstly from his false qualifications: When he claims false qualifications then my red flag goes up and I ask the question of how does one know which parts of what he teaches are true and which parts are false?
Would any true spiritual teacher find it necessary to lie about his qualifications?
In talking to others more versed in aspects of his teachings than he is, I have found, for example, that he has twisted some aspects of Buddhism that he espouses.
The usual "you create own reality" line is used often. Midonov 123, who has a PhD in physics, on the following thread neatly shows how it is distorted by self-help teachers: [board.culteducation.com
Then, and this has for long been my big gripe, he has clearly tried to manipulate her into a relationship with him, and at the same time has basically destroyed mine with her. How does this reflect on his spirituality, which is after all what he says he teaches?
It is not the first time he has pursued a relationship with someone while presenting a course (even those with partners); there is a definite pattern to it.
How does this behaviour relate to someone who is supposedly teaching spiritual lessons and our connection to all? How does this show love and respect for all?
Why does he use all eight criteria for Lifton's thought reform?
As someone told me recently, his words to her were: "I break people down and then I leave them". :evil:
How does a spiritual person do such things, cause trauma in people's lives and walk away without remorse?
It very much relates to Doctor Len Oakes' book, "Prophetic Charisma: The Psychology of Revolutionary Religious Personalities" in which these leaders are focused on themselves, not the people they are supposedly helping, with a common thread of a narcissistic personality disorder running through them.
I have become aware of abuses of their positions by this man and two others involved with him whereby they have manipulated people into affairs, with some of those who have been manipulated being either married or involved in boyfriend/girlfriend relationships.
I am not giving details about them out of respect to those I have spoken to asking me not to name them.
As mentioned in my previous post, my girlfriend and I were able to identify when her problems began as being at the time of the first course. We also found out that she had been hypnotised and that she was unaware of it. We found that the hypnosis related to the core of her problems.
Unfortunately, though, she has chosen not to deal with this now. And maybe it is a good thing at this stage because she is fragile. BUT...it is the 'core of the problem'.
As Wendy Duncan wrote at the end of her book, "I can't Hear God Anymore", documenting her experiences of being with the Trinity Foundation, and relating to after she left:
"The task is simply to integrate the pieces of our past and accept the events that make up our life story. Failure to do so leads to despair.
"When I finally realized I had to acknowledge the loss and embrace the whole experience, that it had to be worked through rather than worked around, I began the real journey back to God."
The parallel, for my girlfriend, who has invested so much in this man and her spiritual process is, I believe, similar.
She has read some of this stuff on Rick Ross, but hasn't really examined it much and she didn't like what she read. If she reads this, please, she should know it is not an attack on her. It is simply me putting the facts forward, and I hope my compassion is evident.
Sometimes, there are issues we need to face that are so testing, potentially so devastating, that we would rather, as Wendy Duncan said work around them, rather than through them. I believe that when my girlfriend chooses to work through them, she will find the inner empowerment she has been seeking.
It will be hard, very very hard, but it will be worth it.
As the saying goes, "The truth will set you free".
I wish her all the best, from my heart and soul to hers.