I agree with Ellen, regarding learning how cults/lgats operate. That has helped me a lot.
Another thing that has helped me, as I started the process of inspecting, then rejecting, the crap I "learned" in the lgat, is rejecting the LIE that I'm doing things all wrong or I'm a failure/weak/etc. when I'm feeling less than a SUCCESSFUL WINNER.
One of the lies that lgats teach is this b&w version of life. It's inhumane.
It's my experience that humans are hardwired with the ability (and need) to feel a range of feelings, from down and depressed to joyous and elated. Lgats disallow half of our humanity. That's some bind to be put in, eh?
I'm UNlearning that lgat LIE, as I quit expecting myself to be a robot who feels on command and feels only half of what I am hardwired to feel. And rather than get upset because I feel less than 100% wonderful, I accept that I'm human, and then reflect on my positive feeling of HATRED for the LIES the lgat sold me.
It's quite a feat, when you think about it -- by that I mean that cults and lgats can trick people into thinking all good things come from cult design, cult adherence, proper cult behavior, and cult directive and that if you are having problems or things are going badly, you are entirely at fault, out of alignment, "out-ethic," or some other such baloney. Dismaying, isn't it, how easily many people can be persuaded this is so. Easy to spot a spiritual con-game if you're not religious; not so easy to spot them in a secular setting that pretends to be about "self-improvement" or something similar.