Friend's lifecoach recs Landmark, need help, have ?'s TIA
Date: October 19, 2005 04:18PM
Sorry to hear about your situation. From a lot of what I've heard, read, and personally experienced about Landmark- the impact it has on friendships and loved ones is very difficult to confront head on. You are rightly upset and angry at having figured out what has been happening to your friend. The most common piece of advice I've heard on trying to deal with this is that your loved one will at some point have to come to their own conclusions. And for us anti-landmarkians- being the bearer of bad news can, more often then not, damage or end our relationships with our loved ones. Infact, one of landmarks' lessons to their indoctrinated is; that if they aren't happy with their spouse, or they don't think their spouse is fulling their full potential of a life of 'unlimited possibilities'- they should divorce them.
With this in mind I have my own ideas on how to counter the destructive neurolinguistic programming, and bogus life lessons that Landmark teaches.
[i:0fb9930ea0]I think humor is the most powerful tool for deconstructing Landmark Forum[/i:0fb9930ea0]. We can't confront landmarkians head-on in a down to earth and factual debate, coming from the position of a 'concerned' and 'worried' friend or loved one who wants to share some healthy advice. Landmark [i:0fb9930ea0]programs[/i:0fb9930ea0] their followers to refuse, resist, and re-indoctrinate those loved ones who are the bearer of bad news. Whenever we try to initiate a debate or discussion- they are taught to reply "Well you just have to do it to understand". Translation- end of debate. This is where we need to approach with humorous insight, humorous fact finding, and humorous deconstruction of their buzzwords, ie neurolinguistic programming.
The nice thing about Landmark is that their own buzzwords and life antidotes are full of so much baloney and crap, you almost can't help but laugh (unless you've been deprived of sleep and pee breaks for 3 days). They are a walking comedy scapegoat waiting to happen. Make your critiques lite hearted and entertaining while at the same time avoiding getting into the 'worried friend' speech that they are programmed to tune out of.
How to spark your friends natural curiousty? Laugh at Landmark. Be the fun, entertaining, and witty friend that they crave. Landmark operates and brainwashes with boredom and cognitive breakdown following exhaustion. Those people are dying for some entertainment in their life- that's why they're there. Your friend may not get the jokes at first- but they'll be sitting there wondering whats so funny- and they will eventually want to be in on the joke. It's very important to avoid using the trigger words like-landmark- brainwashing- EST- life coach- seminar- and any other negative labels that they are trained to confront in 'worried friend' debates. Instead, use the buzzwords- and ridiculize them in an impersonal manner that does not directly implicate your friend. You don't want to make them the butt of your joke- Landmark is the butt, and a big one indeed.
The neurolinguistic programming that Landmark employs is insidious and it's the key to their success. And I believe, their potential downfall.
[b:0fb9930ea0]"Imagine a life of unlimited possibilities"[/b:0fb9930ea0] Awsome! I've been waiting to quit my day job and join the circus. Do you think I'd make a better fire juggler or lion tamer? I can't decide....
[b:0fb9930ea0]"That's just your racket" [/b:0fb9930ea0]Damn! They got me. You know the same thing happened to me the other day... I was car shopping and the used car salesman tried to make me sign a legal release form and then sell me a Pinto Hybrid. Well I'm not dumm, I knew it was a [i:0fb9930ea0]racket[/i:0fb9930ea0]. Then when I tried to leave he grabbed my arm and asked me for the names and phone numbers of 15 of my friends. The nerve!
[b:0fb9930ea0]"You're not being authentic"[/b:0fb9930ea0] I know, I know. But look! I still have 4 authentic Jacksons, 3 authentic Lincolns, and 1 athentic Benjamin in my wallet. See? I'm just green. And I like it.
[b:0fb9930ea0]"Oh come on, take the plunge, promise to me you'll be [i:0fb9930ea0]unreasonable[/i:0fb9930ea0] for once"[/b:0fb9930ea0] Ok, if I promise to be unreasonable, will you do it to? Cool, let's go streaking! Sitting on my ass for three days sounds reasonable, but I'd rather do something unreasonably fun. Don't you?
[b:0fb9930ea0]"They can help you have a breakthrough"[/b:0fb9930ea0] That's cool, but what exactly gets broken anyway? My bank account? Does Enron have anything to do with this?
[b:0fb9930ea0]"Your name tag must show at all times"[/b:0fb9930ea0] That's the dorkiest thing I've ever heard!!
[b:0fb9930ea0]"You shouldn't leave the room, because there is a lot of material that is covered" [/b:0fb9930ea0]Ok, I guess I'd better just pee in my seat then. Hey, can I wear your name tag for a minute?
[b:0fb9930ea0]"I had a clearing"[/b:0fb9930ea0] Lucky you. Tom Cruise had one of those I heard, he dumped Nicole Kidman and their two kids.
[b:0fb9930ea0]"Disconnect from your past, and start living in the future"[/b:0fb9930ea0] That's an awsome idea! I think I'll stop paying taxes too. And when the IRS comes after me, I'll just start my own vacation seminar in South America. If Erhard can do it, why can't we?
[b:0fb9930ea0]"Landmark forum has offices in like a bazzillion countries"[/b:0fb9930ea0] Wowsers! Are they counting the illegal offices too? Like in France, Sweden, and Italy? Or just the flooded ones who need help 'clearing the rackets'. Like Sri Lanka.
[b:0fb9930ea0]"It's not a cult"[/b:0fb9930ea0] I'm glad to hear that. I hate cults. They always make people do [i:0fb9930ea0]unreasonable[/i:0fb9930ea0] stuff like recruit their friends, [i:0fb9930ea0]volunteer[/i:0fb9930ea0] at the call back harassement center, host [i:0fb9930ea0]meetings[/i:0fb9930ea0] with no cookies or BBQ, yadda yadda.
[b:0fb9930ea0]"You don't know what you don't know"[/b:0fb9930ea0] Well DUHH! Do we have to pay for that advice, or is it included for free?
Basically what I'm saying- is that neurolinguistic programming is pretty serious stuff. I'm sure there are dozens more buzzwords out there. I've heard there is actually a script containing all the buzzwords and phrases that the landmark leaders have to stick to- to conduct the seminar. That document IS the neurolinguistic program. Your friend is getting brainwashed by having the common meaning behind their vocabulary substituted with Landmark meaning. Common words are taken out of daily context and spun for landmarks benefit. The goal is to create confusion which leads to continued enrollment and increasing dependence on Landmark- once they start accepting landmarks definitions. No one else can understand them, therefor, "You just have to do it to understand". And the funny thing is- these poor people can't describe [u:0fb9930ea0]in detail[/u:0fb9930ea0] what 'it' is about landmark that they think they like so much, because their new vocabulary is, well.... meaningless.
Learn the neurolinguistic program. Learn the buzzwords. Learn the catch phrases. Learn the loopy logic patterns. Then, enlighten your friend with love, humor, and fun. Let common sense prevail. That gives Landmark the heebie jeebies. One day our friends may catch on. Hopefully.
PS. I also endorse talking the tough shit to those landmarkians who aren't close friends. How dare they sneak around our backs and recruit our families surreptitiously! And to any landmarkians out there, please invite me to your graduation so I can understand. I would like to standup at the ceremony, burn my name tag, scream some obscenities about how landmark changed my life, and pull the fire alarm to clear your conference out!