Help In Dealing With A Girlfiend in Quixtar
Date: January 14, 2005 02:27AM
I don't date much, and recently met someone is pretty much the person I've been looking for as long as I have been dating. Of course you can guess the one rub: She's a Quixtar-ite. For convenience, I'll call her Dawn.
At this point, she has some legs, but nobody that is really active and trying to build their downline. Dawn has been working at this for a while, but seriously working at it for about 6 months. She goes to 1 business organizational meeting a week and 1 open meeting a week. Of course she (and her partner, a friend) buy all the tools recommended and she goes to the conventions. As in most cases, she and her friend heard about it from trusted family who heard about it from trusted family. The head of the local "team" has been in since something like 1995 (or whenver Quixtar began), but is still working his day job. He's a good enough guy, and allows me to come to some of their parties. Many evenings Dawn is showing "the plan" or going out to malls and places to find contacts.
Dawn is in this because she is a creative and very sensitive and altruistic person with high ideals. She doesn't want to work 40 hours a week for the rest of her life, and she knows there are many people who feel the same way, and wants to help them. She doesn't want the fancy houses of a diamond, but to be able to spend her time on her hobbies and interests. She is not materialistic, but wants to make diamond so she can be free of a pay job for the rest of her life. I do not know how often she listens to tapes or reads all their books. I do sense that she is coming under presure from upline to convert me. I have a small business. Right now I make about what I made as a teacher, but over the next year, I'll be doing much better. I would even be able to hire her in 6-12 months, in a position that would allow her to use a lot of her creativity. She would, in the long run, be able to do some of the idealistic things she wants to if she worked with me.
I've researched Quixtar. I've been to sites like MLM Survivor, Former Diamond, and Merchants of Deception. I know the numbers. (Actually, when you put numbers in front of me, I can't help but to do them.) I know the basic setup of what's going on in this organization. While, on the one hand, it isn't really any of my business, I dread what will happen if she does make diamond and finds out that what she's been saying for years is a lie. She is very idealistic and stands by her morals.
The other day, she was telling me about an upcoming convention. She said I could come, that it was $90 pre-reg, and $100 at the door. I asked how many people were coming and she said 5,000-8,000. I asked a few preliminary questions like if the fee included rooms (no), or anything but admission (no). Rather quickly, I started muttering, "Let's see, $90 times over 5,000 is going to be about half a million, or a lot more. That's a lot of money coming in." She replied that renting a colesium is expensive. I asked, more or less rhetorically, if it should cost half a million to rent one for a weekend. She didn't answer, and I could tell she was uncomfortable. I think that may be good, since it indicated she may actually still have room for quesitons about Quixtar.
I've dropped a few questions like this from time to time, and she responds with something like, "It's expensive to rent rooms like that." If I mention anything more, like, "Yeah, but that much? Are you sure?" she doesn't have a response. Maybe I'm being devious, but I'm hoping that a few of these questions, here and there, will make it easy for me to tell her just how much profit they make on the weekly meetings (I used to deal with event coordinators, so I have some idea, even without checking).
I don't feel I can just come right out and say, "Hey, they're frauds. You, your partner, your family, even the guy that's doing okay with this, are being fooled. Here's the proof," and show her some of the material I've found. I think if I did, she'd believe me, but that would crush her dreams and probably ruin our relationship. Even if things worked out, that puts me in a terrible "I'm right, and saved you, and you don't know what you're doing" position.
Sorry for all the background, but I wanted to describe the person involved, and let people know that you don't have to tell me the truth about Quixtar.
So here's the questions: I've seen a lot of resources that talk about what Quixtar really is, and what kind of ordeals people have been through, but where are resources that tell people how to DEAL with this? Is there anything out there that gives me ideas of how to gently reach someone who thinks Q. is the answer to all things financial? Does anyone have experiences they can share about how they've reached people in Quixtar, or what it's taken for IBOs who think they can succeed to learn the truth?
Please, don't give me links that tell me how bad things are. I want to hear what people have done, or have found useful in helping them (if they were an IBO) or others who were IBOs see what's going on. Stories, ideas, other forums for those who have had to face this, whatever (is there a Quixtar Anonmymous for those involved with IBOs?) would be appreciated.