The following post is taken from notes I have for a FAQ artcle I'm working on for [
www.thepinkingshears.org] (Question will be "Is Mary Kay a Cult")
----
I think it would probably be overstatement to call them a cult. Mary Kay Ash was a very charismatic leader, and people did (and still do) treat her (or her memory) with an attitude that borders on worship. However, there are over a million Mary Kay consultants spread over the globe; I think if would be hard to have the kind of central control by one person I'd associate with a cult. Different units are run differently. From what I've heard, some are very cult-like, and potentially very damaging, others probably are not. However, my experience was that I noticed several things about Mary Kay that seemed cultish.
The first time I got a really bad feeling about Mary Kay was from watching a video about seminar. Our senior director told us "You [i:791d9be857]have[/i:791d9be857] to watch this video. Once you see it, you [i:791d9be857][b:791d9be857]will[/i:791d9be857][/b:791d9be857] want to go to seminar." But as I watched the video, I grew more and more uncomfortable -- a little nauseous, actually. The women being interviewed in this video were typically flushed and often actually quivering with excitement and awe as they sang the praises of Mary Kay Ash, and Mary Kay, the company (using speech generously peppered with exclamation marks.) I found the way they expressed themselves increasingly frightening, and when by the time I heard a second woman gush "Mary Kay is my LIFE!", I could not remain in my seat. I got up and watched for a couple more minutes at the back of the room, and then I had to leave the room and pace down the hall, go into the bathroom and splash my face with some water until I was calmed down enough to go back into the room without expressing my disgust (something I knew would not be considered acceptable.)
According to Robert Lifton [
[]], cults can be identified by the following criteria:
Quote
1) a charismatic leader who increasingly becomes an object of worship as the general principles that may have originally sustained the group lose their power;
2) a process I call coercive persuasion or thought reform;
3) economic, sexual, and other exploitation of group members by the leader and the ruling coterie.
re 1)
Mary Kay Ash certainly seems to fit this bill from what I've seen in Mary Kay, as well as what I've heard from many others. At MKSurvivors, people have told us their directors advised them to think things like "What would Mary Kay do?" (Notice the similarity to the common Christian morality test "What would Jesus do?") Another one they hear is "Remember when talking to people, you may be the only Mary Kay Ash this person will ever meet." Again, this directly echos a common Christian directive, but with substitution of Mary Kay's name. We've also heard stories about people who were so excited to meet and possibly talk to Mary Kay that they actually passed out.
re2)
Lifton says "A simplified, cliche-ridden language can exert enormous psychological force reducing every issue in a complicated life to a single set of slogans that are said to embody the truth as a totality." This concept of the "simple, cliche-ridden language" reminds me strongly of the way our Mary Kay sales directors used to talk to us. They has scripted language for all questions and expressions of doubt (which would sometimes be used without much regard to whether the scripted answer fit the actual question.) One thing I was suprised to find at MKSurvivors was that women who'd been involved in Mary Kay in different units, "National Areas", and geographic loactions shared a set of idioms (which are now the butt of most of our jokes). When they start talking like a Mary Kay lady, we recognize the language immediately. I have never heard anyone outside of Mary Kay use these expressions, yet within it, they seem to be pervasive (many of them I believe are pervasive to MLM in general.) The key feature is that any form of negativity is strongly discouraged. (They're favorite perjorative is "Negative Nellie.") In one case, we heard of consultants getting called up in front of the group at a meeting, and being made to hold a stuffed skunk for the entire meeting to remind them not to be so negative (didn't they quit using dunce caps in schools because it's considered abusive to the children?)
re3)
There is no question in mind that Mary Kay consultants are often financially exploited by their leadership. On the MKSurvivors forum, we've heard countless stories of women who are talked into borrowing money to purchase inventory they don't need and sometimes can't afford. They claim they have our best interests at heart, and we believe them, then they lie to us about how having large inventories will be an investment and help our businesses. In many cases, the recruiters who tell these lies actually believe them, despite the evidence of their own finances, perhaps because they've been sold the story so many times, from so many people who give the appearance of success.
We've also heard of many instances of abusive behavior such as the skunk incident described above. When consultants question the system, it's not unusual for them to be met with hostility by their leaders, or by other consultants. When friends or family members express doubt about the system, or concern about the consultant's financial well being or changes in behavior/personality, the consultants are often advised to quit associating with those "negative influences." We've heard of a number of cases of sales directors counceling women to leave their supposedly abusive husbands because the husbands were upset about their mounting debt and lack of actual sales.
In some units as well, there is what someone at the survivor forum recently called "spiritual abuse." As an example of this, there was a letter being widely circulated by MK sales directors to encourage consultants to order just before the end of the "Mary Kay year." The purpose of the letter was to pressure consultants to spend more money so the directors could make their goals. The full text of the letter can be found here [
www.unitcoach.com]. It ended up like this:
Quote
God has been waiting, very patiently, for you to take off your stuffy mental clothes and put on a robe of full-force, give me more, can't touch this, "you SO need to meet me" attitude that will absolutely dazzle Him.
At the end of June he will want you to account for yourself. Seminar is the place where he can nod his head and say, "you've done well." Or can you see him shaking his head in disappointment...again?
For more about why we feel we need the support of a "survivor club", see [
www.thepinkingshears.org]
[list:791d9be857][/list:u:791d9be857]
-Rachel