Im very sorry to hear that you were taught wrong things about God. Seems they left out the power of the cross, grace, mercy, love etc.
A good christian church give you a balanced view of God...these people harmed you.
My best suggestion for you is to join me and my friends at this online support group. I was also taught simialr things in a charasmatic christian cult. Thank God im gone.
you will find people that can relate to you confusion and are still hanging onto Christ even tho...