Re: The Refuge in Wendover, Aylesbury
Posted by:
seekingsusan
()
Date: August 29, 2011 07:59PM
and more..:
Biscuits
I was a kid and a teenager in SMC, and although I loved the worship and the very real presence of God (totally addictive), I felt under the most extreme pressure to perform. I remember in one Saturday night kids’ meeting in Glasgow, the leader made everyone sit in a circle and asked everyone who had been baptised in the Spirit to raise their hands. (This by the way is synonymous with speaking in tongues – I was once at a camp where a poor teenage girl got verbally shot down for suggesting that even although she didn’t speak in tongues, she knew she was filled with the Spirit). Every kid raised their hand – even the tiniest ones – then everyone was encouraged to share their experiences of when it happened. Naturally, the age of ‘being filled’ decreased rapidly with each story being told. As I remember it, there were certain places, things and brands which were acceptable, and others which were not. Make-up, ear-piercing and (in my day) Bebo Norman were a big no-no. Star Wars, Lord of the Rings (Mary Black was a big fan), photography and anything made by Apple were things you should invest a lot of energy in. It seemed to lie on the shoulders of a few people in a kind of ‘magic circle’ to determine what was kosher, like foreign holidays (at my time forbidden, now ok) or strappy summer tops (oh, the embarrassment of a friend being asked to change at camp!). It was exhausting keeping up with what I was allowed to do. I attended meetings every single night of the week and twice on a Sunday – and similar to what others have said, absence was always noted and strictly followed up. Superiority was encouraged – working with other churches was not. And all the time I remember the fear of being found out to be not good enough, or not holy enough; not living up to what the leaders planned out was a terrifying thought. Stories filtered through to us teens (sadly can’t vouch for the accuracy of them) that certain people had been dissuaded from marrying the person they wanted to because the leaders had deemed they were not the right person for them. I was terrified for falling for the wrong person and having heartbreak heaped on shame!
I do remember a couple of people leaving the church while I was there and the whole affair being massively hushed up. There seemed to be a hardness, and a blatant lack of compassion – in a way that I have seen very similarly demonstrated by members of the Westboro Baptist Church when someone makes the heart-breaking decision to leave their whole family’s chosen way of life. My experience of leaving was very similar to everyone else leaving SMC – first questions, then shunning, then ex-communication. One final thing I would say is that I have heard some of my acquaintances still in SMC say that it is a growing, vibrant church. Vibrant maybe, I suppose that’s in the eye of the church-goer, but I find it pretty hard to swallow that it’s growing. The ‘leadership’ team doesn’t seem to have changed for ten years as I can see it, and when I look at recent pictures of activities in the church, I recognise everyone in them. Strikes me as a big odd, is all. Needless to say – God is no man’s debtor, and what the devil means to harm us, God only brings to prosper us. He has taught me so much through the whole experience and I have an ongoing hunger to know God at a deep level. I just pray so much I will never again be dogmatic, blinded and hard - God is just too full of love;
SolaScriptura
I am so glad that others have had the same experience that I have had! I am also conscious of people having left the faith altogether because they are fed up of not 'feeling' anything or not understanding simple concepts such why God doesnt do everything they ask, when they ask it! There is a sense that if God doesn't give you what you ask for then it's your own fault which is ridiculous and wrong in the extreme! Whereas I say there is a reason why the Lords Prayer says "your will be done"! I went to this Church for years, the first time I went they prayed for me to be 'baptised in the holy spirit' this seemed to me to have more focus than being born again. It was mentioned in the same sentence be a Christian and be baptised. At first I didn't do anything but when they persisted I just copied them and believed I was speaking in tongues when actually it was just gibberish. I also spoke to a girl who the people didn't like and was told to stay away from her, when I refused I was ostracised. Eventually she was told to leave the Church and I left anyway. I remember when I wasn't healed feeling sinful, when I didn't have what other's had 'spiritually' I felt useless and as if my relationship with God must have been rubbish. I have since realised I didn't want more of God but more of his Gifts, it wasn't for His glory but my own!
When my friend committed suicide I was told I shouldn't be hanging around with people like that anyway. That really hurt me because I knew I was not 'doing anything wrong' although recognising that we are all sinners, it was not a great sin to befriend someone who was struggling with life.
I pray that God would enlighten them through scripture! The bible is read and God can speak through that, I pray they would see through the hype and see that God is amazing just by being GOD! He is not amazing because he can make you 'drunk in the spirit', he amazing because he is Glorious! Yes he can heal but as Spurgeon says he's not a celestial bellhop to do our own will at out beck an call! We are the servants and he is God! I'm glad God found me again! All Praise to him , glory and honour forever! He is sovereign over all things and he will bring his Children to him through the preaching of the word, he even brings people to himself when people are in error! Our God is an awesome God! 

I am a woman and totally disagree with woman ministers and even woman elders to be honest, woman can have other roles in Church and this compliments the men. I also don't think the holy spirit would EVER accuse you of sin in front of people, he can gently rebuke but the accuser is ALWAYS satan! I remember the minister ranting that some people didn't know the difference between the voice of God and the voice Satan and how this was shocking, the reason for this is that they were not told that God's voice is heard THROUGH SCRIPTURE and not your imagination and they were imagining their own desires and worrying that they were not doing it right! Encourage the reading of the word, not experience! 

I have had to re-learn scripture and repent of demanding of God and doing things to 'fit in' to the Church! I praise God that his sovereign grace has led me home! 

English
My parents were members of one of the English branches of SMC, as a child I attended dutifully with my brothers from a young pre teen age. 
We had been to churches before CofE and Penticostal, happy places in the main with happy people running them. I thought I knew what to expect.My illusions were shattered when the first contact we had with the leaders was a lecture on how we were to behave, sit at the front, dont look around and behave. We went on many camps and met some truly lovely people. SMC back then seemed to attract a certain type of person, it was there I met my first drug addict, first alcholic and my first demon possesed person. SMC seemed to be a magnet for either the less fortunate or, if you look at it another way, people who previously liked to really enjoy themselves. It always struck me that the majority of leaders were school teachers, even our English branch was run by school teachers, and they were all controlled by the fat controller himself, Mr Black, oh and his daughers Grace (if ever someone was misnamed it was her )
My main beef with SMC was the amount of control levied by the leadership, there was no tv in our house, popular culture was banned and if Mr B could have fitted into a horse and carriage and got a horse hair shirt to fit then Im sure he would. My Dad used to tithe a 3rd of his wages, not a percentage which would have been intelligent, a 3rd. Were did it all go ? Who accounted for it ? Some may say that it was used to invest in the stock market. Some may say an awful lot of it was lost in the late 80's stock market crash. Certainly non was ever spent on the damp, miserable edifices in Greenock and Pudsey. Is SMC a cult ? I doubt it, it wasn't then, I was given the choice by my parents of attending or leaving once it obvious I was never going to become a missionary or a devoutee of Mary Charmicheal. Is it now ? I sincerely hope not, when I was there, as I said, there where so many happy people there who wanted to do great things. Shame they were all in the congregation
Stephen
Many years ago, certain SMC members run the youth group in Buckinghamshire. Certainly this was a female dominated group and favour was given to the women and to one teenage male, who always wore a suit and tie, and received birthday presents, when all other males did not. The Anglican Church, saw through them and kicked them out, and they left, taking the females with them. Such was their control. I left before this, as I was made aware on numerous occasions, that I was out of favour, even after a face to face with the husband, Derek. Joan controlled the show, and when Derek gave his testimony about smoking on the bus in Glasgow, he was told, in front of his young audience, that there would be more to discuss later, on this matter.Even now, one of the girls was so enamoured by the leader, that she named her child after the daughter of the leader, it was an unusual name as well.
clare
I always found the speakers very inspirational , but i always felt also that i fell short of their standards of holiness. I have learnt since that its what God requires of me that counts . Struthers is very specific and not for everybody , i think they should be more open about this and be aware that people go there sometimes for the wrong reasons , searching for their personal path and its not necessarily the Struthers way that is appropriate. It can seem the ideal way, the highest way and they present it like that but i think there is a lack of wisdom . I think its aimed at single people , it provides a noble alternative to a relationship maybe, ( check out the number of single women who minister in the church). You can leave there feeling very "down" very unworthy ,very negative and i dont think these feelings come from God, i simply think its because you shouldnt have been there its not for you. God is everywhere not just at Struthers.
I had a long time friend who was very involved with them and still is probably, the last time i heard her speak i have to admit the phrase that came to mind was that she a Struthers "clone" there was nothing wrong with what she said but it was the way it was delivered , only someone who had been to struthers would recognise it . She would say it was because she has the same annointing as they do but i dont think its that at all and i was sad to see my friend transformed into someone that made me just a little embarrassed when she spoke. I think this church, and others like it does damage, but unknowingly. I have been a christian since 17, i am 50 now and have come to some conclusions . God is far bigger far greater than we could ever imagine we must stop putting him in a box labelled struthers or any other movement for that matter. am sure of three things, I know he exists ,i know he has ultimate control , i know he cares for me on an individual level .
…..
I too had an experience of so called deliverence at their hands where nothing happened after a lot of speaking in tongues . I felt stupid actually, embarrassed to have divulged something very personal and then nothing happens. No-one was wise enough or had sufficient discernement to say to me, "well i'm sure there is nothing wrong dear" I felt i was being laughed at by "he who's name must not be mentioned" and i dont mean lord valdemort! Sorry, the new Harry Potter film is out isnt it!! i mean i really felt the" father of confusion " was having a right good laugh at my expence watching me tell them about sins from the past in case i had a demon etc.I can see how lonely christians who so want to please God and find their way in life end up being easy prey . But do they, the leaders of SMC, do it knowingly or are they themselves victims of lies , confusion and lonliness. At one time i bought every book that came out of SMC, Hugh Blacks writings at least AND the camp tapes , i would listen and read avidly, and where do you think it got me? Thats right no where! a whole lot of what i can only call spritual masturbation, which left me just as lonely and frustrated as at the start.
My experience of God now, is that He is just not like this , we are far harder on ourselves than He is, do we really think the Lord of all the universe and beyond needs our pitifull attempts at holiness, i think what matters to Him is us wanting the truth , believing in Him and trusting Him, above all trust Him. Its not complicated really and they(SMC) make it so complicated .
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/29/2011 08:16PM by seekingsusan.