Defending an Illusory Cure--Speculations

*These are hunches. See if they fit your situation.

When people explode and go ballistic because you'r telling them painful information about their leader, what they may be doing is defending their sense that they've been healed by the leader. They feel better, but are unaware that their sense of well being did not result from resolving their problems but by suppressing their problems.

In technical terms they are defending the positive transferance they've formed to their leader. Without that positive transferance, they risk being ambushed by all the depression and anxiety they supressed by getting blissed out in the leader's group.

A therapist uses positive transferance to support authentic growth and autonomy. A needy leader exploits positive transferance to keep you dependant.

A genuine psychotherapist gets his or her needs met outside the therapy room, not from patients. A real therapist accepts both your positive transferance and negative transferance--which means you can admire that therapist and also get mad at the person. This helps you become conscious in relation to the emotions in that transferance, helps you understand unsolved problems that orginated from your early development. Gradually you get more adult and less dependant on the therapist.

Eventually you graduate and leave because the therapist has taught you to parent yourself.

But a needy leader relies on devotees for narcissistic affirmation. A leader of this kind wants only idealizing transferance and will refuse to tolerate any kind of negative, painful emotion. A leader of this kind lacks the maturity needed to teach people the skills needed to become independent in relation to the leader.

That is why groups like this censor 'negativity' seem gooey sweet all the time, and why so often, a member is the designated scapegoat to carry all the 'bad stuff' that the leader refuses to face.

In this set up, you may be all blissed out, but this may be at the cost of suppressing your full range of emotion, and you need lots of energy to maintain this self-censorship.

So you get hooked on the leader and environment that maintain this artificial high and you never leave.

You feel like you've been healed, but you have NOT worked through your suffering. You've merely suppressed it. Its just like becoming a dope addict with the group and its leader as the pusher.

Through the group/leaders monopoly on positive transferance, these people have disabled some or part of their adult function, and have regressed to blissful childhood. They are feeling blissful because their emotions have been re-arranged and manipulated to suppress life long patterns of anxiety and depression. Anything that disrupts thier idealizing transferance to the cult leader will take the lid off the suffering they suppressed and that unfinished business will return to haunt them.

Thats why people are so terrified of being kicked out--or being told the truth--their suppressed suffering hangs over them and they dont want it to come back.

A group leader of this kind may give relief, but the relief is suppression of one's suffering, not resolution of it. The devotees have not integrated their suffering, so [i:16775c1d2d]the bliss they feel is a bliss that has to be defended[/i:16775c1d2d], a bliss that is a high maintainance state that requires an increasingly high maintainance lifestyle--and more and more devotees to provide reassurance that its all for real when it isnt.

Bliss that embraces your full humanity, including your suffering--that requires no defence. Its an embrace of reality.

Bliss that requires exaltation of only part of your humanity and rejects the rest of who you are--that suppresses reality and requires an increasing expenditure of energy, time, money and constriction of emotion. This is the bliss that has to be defended through denial of the truth.

Genuine healing doesnt require all these props.

When people's illusions about a charismatic leader are threatened, their suppressed suffering threatens to return, along with the trauma of discovering they've been exploited. This is terrifying.

To defend their illusions (supported by lies they've been given) about the group and leader is to defend themselves, to defend their own (illusory but intense) experiences of relief.

To face the truth means the prospect of existential horror.

Thank you, corboy, all that you explained does apply to my 2nd hand experience of the Miracle of Love.

Amazing how groups just copy-cat each others' methods, and how vulnerable people can be.

It is all so sad.
Good caring people taken emotionally and financially.

sigh.

Glad this board is here to help educate others.

The Youth Intensive is going on for several years. It is structured pretty much after the adult intensive. But way more damaging because the pre-teens ot teens are emotional opened and than released, without hardly any support, back into their lifes.
The youth intensive was shadowed by the suicides of two teenagers and was shot down by Kalindi for a while. The parents of the dead kids were MOL members and it was aranged that MOL was not mentioned in the reports. However, since than only kids of parents who participated in the adult intensive are allowed to participate in the youth intensive and the disclaimers got way stronger.

The so called second genaration was formed 4 years ago, as a result of the dispair a lot of the youth felt being in the emotional struggle of their involvement. The "second generation" lives in homes (3-6 youth per home)around San Diego lead by Kalindi's daughter Maha and MOL members calling themselves 'spiritual leaders". It is all a big mess and the youth acting out with wild parties, drugs and sex. And all of this is celebrated as free expression of the devine being......

Just sad!

Tx Molvictim for sharing!

It must be hard for you. We all appreciate your willingness to 'come out' and share, for your own purging as well as to help affected others to heal.

My exBF encouraged my kids to attend the Intensive, offering to pay for them. they did not (whew!). In reading all this, my daughter commented "Mom, that would have caused me to have a breakdown! At least I know enough that I would've walked out and walked home" (we live a few miles from the Intensive's location).

My ex and I live in the same neighborhood, our kids grew up together... people talk. Folks have been calling me for a while now, concerned, wanting to be sure that I'm not still involved w/ him.. apparently a lot of 'funny business' going on at his house the last year or 2. I'll spare the sordid details. sigh. And my son told me, years ago when we'd started dating.. the high school rumors about my ex were about the younger women he used to go through. My son denied it all, to be in support of his Mom. sigh.

.. No wonder I was accused of being "too wholesome".

Please continue posting your experiences. There are many who benefit from this. I'm in email contact w/ concerned loved ones of other MOLers. Everything is so well controlled and secretive about the group - those who leave tend not to come forward. The shame must be intense!

You experienced extreme thought reform/ manipulation. It is NOT your fault! Your normal sense of life organization was gradually stripped and reshuffled. How painful it must be, for you to sort through and put yourself back together. The cult recovery experts I spoke with said they doubted they could persuade a recovered MOLer to attend an intervention for a current member. all just wanted to leave it behind and never even revisit that part of their past. The exit counselors, naturally, only spoke with me in general terms about their former clients' experiences, not able to get specific to protect the privacy.

Thank you, GI for the encouraging words.
Yes it is hard to move out of the shadows of guilt, shame and doubt. it took me years to even let go of the doubt that I might have missed the train to God or heaven. I do not mean that in a childish way, more under the influence of the strange teachings of MOL. It is the combination of being over and over emptied of your emotional structure up to exhaustion and than build up with the garbage of the "golden one" (Gourasana) is here to free you of this place of suffering. Your whole life becomes a negative tendency....... Of course, you better live your life according to the "spiritual life style manual" given by Kalindi. That manual is the most controlling thing ever. It goes to the extreme that even the Trash container has to be labeled.

Sorry for the vending, but it helps me to finally have found an outlet. I wish that my knowledge can prevent people to get hurt and spend their life's chasing a false promise...

Thanks

I'm a little slow right now with my postings in order to
digest all the information and the pain MOL has created. It is
overwhelming how many people are affected by the abuse of power and
the hunger for control of one scared person.

We all were addictive for the sensation and feelings of someone who promised us to fill the whole in our hearts we are born with!

Addiction

Question: Addictions come in many forms - substance abuse, people
abuse, financial addiction, sexual addiction - are some good and some
bad? What are some Higher thoughts concerning addictions?

Answer: There is no such thing as a healthy addiction, just as it
should be clear that -- in reality -- there can be no such thing as
any pleasure we are compelled to seek and give ourselves. Anything
one part of our self does to drive another part proves the presence
of a deep divide within us, where we are at once slave seeking to
escape, and the master who releases us only to catch us again. This
is, incidentally, one of the hidden aspects or characteristics of all
unconscious thought.

There is a long thread about Miracle of Love on the discussion boards of FactNet.
See : [www.factnet.org]

Some of the material duplicates what is here. Some is different.

Hi corboy,

You are so right! Ever tried to discuss some MOL issues with a current member? One thing is for certain, it will show you quickly how fast the "miracle of love" can turn into a volcano of anger!

It is the attachment created by the cult. It becomes the foundation of the members personality.

Sad but true and it takes years to break free from.

Thanks for the accurate description!

Hello All :

I accidently stumlbed into MOL’s meditation space in my community. As I'd written earlier, I live in an area where I'm MOL-surrounded.

First entered, and it clearly was a place normally intended for some meditation group. The room’s color scheme was all red, Buddhist meditation pillows, other seats w/ backrests, cheap Asian-style carpets, and one wall of mirrors (?)... typical prints of Hindu love-deities, etheric-animal-spirit prints, Then... I saw a print of Gourasana ala aura and all, and a framed photo... enlargement of Maha (Kalindi's daughter) photographed naked lying on her side curled up. At first I'd thought she was a young teen, later I'd realized it was the face of a 6 or 7 yr old.... a quiet child naked, watching everyone in a 'meditation' room.

Ok, so what does THAT have to do with following one's inner divine calling? Subconsciously invoking pedophilia in the name of spirituality?

Hi folks,
I'm a newbie at this -- but I'm very grateful about my daddio insisting that I READ everything I sign; in my business (financial) I'm amazed that more people don't do so. They say they "trust me." Glad they do, but still they should read anything THEY sign. Amazing to me that folks do sign these outlandish DND's (do no disclose) and hold harmless agreements (promising to hold MOL 'harmless' if the person is in anyway 'hurt,' including sexually or emotionally abused. AND, it's my understand that this is BEFORE the intensive begins.

Truly a testiment to the power of mind control; these folks are controlled (or at least under the influence) before they even know it.

So many, many people are so critically injured; and how many people eventually recover, and how many don't? It's so sad; a tragedy in front of us. Why are we not outraged? Yet, how does one be 'outraged' at a phantom? (and, in this case, a very good phantom, with seemingly good legal counsel). I'm concerned about a loved one in this organization; I'm amazed with the more I learn. But, this has been going on for years. It's a real puzzle to me as to how to help these folks, who are in such tremendous pain: if we saw them on the roadside, we would stop and help. I hope my special, special loved one will come out of MOL and be relatively unscathed.

I ask, what can people like me do to help? I've already emailed the URL etc to almost everyone I know. Did anyone see the movie "Pass it Forward?"

In any case, I'm so thankful for info boards/resources like this.