Did not figure I needed someone whose whole idea of help was to tell me to never see my family again. :roll: ( Of course, I do realize that for some people that may end up being their best choice) Have also had to accept that for my family the group will always come before me. making a life filled with good friends and good people has helped.It all takes time.Good luck,you'll make it!Yasmin
Yes, that is so true! My experience is the same. I don't need to be convinced of the foilbles and methods of the leadership (traditional exit counseling). I know that mess all too well! - saw the foibles clear as a bell growing up. I know their methods well enough to begin my own group if I wanted. ugh!
Agreed, my cult-family are mostly wonderful, well-intentioned, caring people! I'll always miss them!
I think our needs are about gaining normal life skills, how to keep the erroneous thinking patterns in check (our baseline normal), and how to maintain relationships w/ loved ones, past and present, w/o compromising our own integrity. - while building functioning lives. Not an easy juggle.
Saying that I'll never contact 'my cult' again means to disregard my family and entire history! That does not work.
However, I cannot exit counsel them either, because I'm the black sheep who used to go toe-to-toe w/ the leaders, and eventually left. They would welcome me back w/ open arms at any time! :roll:
Cannot do that either. So I live w/ the stigma of a black sheep.
Building a new life takes time. After developing real-time friendships, I slowly tell folks "Oh btw, I was raised in a cult."
But then it's tiring to educate folks what a 'real cult' is vs. just a self-help group or religious involvement.
Ususally I just remain quiet when conversations about childhood come up. My stories are too shocking for most normal folks.
As my grown son says, "I just smile and nod."
Good work Yasmin! Happy Holi-daze to all!