The Forum weekend is designed to give you a massive dopamine high at the end of the 3 stressful days, so that you believe you are strong enough to make radical changes in your life. And if you already have a condition like bipolar, then it can trigger an attack also,
I did the Forum and I experienced the high and but I also felt weird and didn't trust it. So I didn't change anything in my life. And then I came down and felt terrible.
This thread is also helpful on understanding how it works.LGATS and dopamine thread.
Check out Landmark in the Large Group Awareness Training section of this Forum. I learned a lot and it saved my sanity.
I hope you find a way out of this without too much further trauma.