(Bonnie offered some observations about the social scene in Sedona (and by extension other places like it—readers are invited to fill in the blanks):
Quote
Sadness is politically incorrect. Anger is very, very politically incorrect. These are negative emotions which will result in drawing in bad events by creating an energy vortex.
Another risk factor is being socialized to consider any kind of fact checking in relation to spiritual matters is a sign of skepticism or even negativity or cynicism. (Yet Saint Paul told us to always 'test the spirits' and gave checklists indicating whether spiritual influences were likely to be healthy or not. Its amazing that we persistently value the miraculous and forget St. Paul's advice to test the spirits)
There is a very interesting double standard in New Age circles. Its OK to do consumer research when purchasing a new car, but you're taught in many groups that its a horrible sign of cynicism to check the background of the new guru or motivational coach who has come to town with glowing reviews.
Here is a checklist on signs of suppressed anger from a survival guide website for persons affected by infidelity.
[
www.survivinginfidelity.com]
This checklist may be informative reading for persons who have been in organizations where people are socialized to repress anger and other manifestations of 'negativity'.
This socialization is often informal and not intentionally done. It may take place with iperfectly nnocent intentions so it is not cultic indoctrination in the fullest sense. But this informal socialization could 'soften us up' by making us vulnerable to recruitment and indoctrination later on.
If you've been socialized to fear and distrust anger, you will be unable to
identify or trust basic gut reactions that signal that you're in a potentialy bad situations. If you are afraid to feel annoyed when someone is rude or manipulative, you risk staying in the company of that person.
If we stay in a bad situation long enough, we are likely to adjust to that bad situation. In the mean time, we become socially and emotionally invested. We may make friends or have our hope aroused. It becomes harder to imagine leaving.
We are human. We need connection and make connection very easily. We adjust to social context and are not aware of this. That's what makes us
vulnerable.
By the time people allow themselves to be manipulated into having bliss experiences, 'peak exeriences' 'shakti energy transmissions' they may become addicted to these artificial highs--and the social set up that delivers the high.
If in the mean time, they have divulged confidential information, handed over large sums of money, driven away negative minded friends or family, perhaps done things that go against their previous moral standards, and have allowed a spiritual teacher to alternate playing on their shame and then inflame their hopes and ambitions--by then they're trapped.
Its a slippery slope. First you're in a social scene in which a mindset is fostered, a mindset that 'softens you up.' You may later cross paths with a recruiter for a really harmful person or group.
**And be aware that this mindset is now quite pervasive. Manipulative people who understand this mindset and know how to manipulate it will do so. Real spiritual teachers will help you wise up and outgrow this mindset--they will never exploit it or foster it.
Even if you dont get recruited into a hurtful group, this mindset may be a trap. With the best intentions you may participate in shaming people who report being harmed in a bad group. You may be very sincere when you tell them to stop wallowing in thier victim mindset.
Later, if you end up being harmed, what you said may come back to haunt you. You'll now hear those same words turned against you when you attempt to bear witness about what youve been through.
IMO there can be some hidden cruelty beneath the surface of some parts of the new age scene. A lot of us embark on the spiritual quest because we dislike feeling vulnerable and we crave power. We may not want to face the messy parts of the human condition, like anger, shame, and the sheer vulnerability of being human and in a body that gets old and is subject to accident and unexplained illness.
A lot of pilgrims cling to the bright side and accuse anyone who is angry or in pain of being 'negative.'
Yes, there are times when anger is excessive. We all know road rage is bad for us.
But anger can be very useful, even liberating if we have a conscious relationship with it.
Anger can an early sign that something in our lives or relationships is actually or potentially harmful. Telling people that [b:d791dfe674]all [/b:d791dfe674]forms of anger are wrong cuts them off from a valuable source of information--imagine telling people its a sign of negativity to have smoke detectors in the house.
Annoyance, mild to moderate anger function as smoke detectors do--they generate a signal that says 'Investigate this, this doenst seem right.'
You don't sit around ignoring your smoke detector--you use it as a sign to take constructive action. Put of the fire, remove the smoke and you stay safe and the smoke detector shuts off by itself.
Here is a description of the two cultures of New Age and rational thinking by a woman who once taught New Age material, then decided it wasnt for her.
[
www.looksmarttrends.com]
Finally there is yet an additional argument that can serve to entrap people--the There-are-no-victims-argument.
This stance may confer a sense of empowerment but IMO it is false empowerment. It denies that seekers, especially those new to the scene, are [b:d791dfe674]vulnerable[/b:d791dfe674]. To say 'there are no victims' or that victimhood is illusion, or that being victimized is your choice, actually means that anyone who is exploited on the spiritual quest will find him or herself alone, blamed for all that has gone wrong--abandoned, even jeered at by those who formerly seemed so loving.
Pilgrims, especially those new to the quest are vulnerable because they have not yet learned to tell the difference between spiritual practices which are helpful and those which entrap. Often they lack the ability to discern their own inner signals, and embarked on spiritual practice so as to learn these discernment skills.
To say 'there are no victims' denies the vulnernability of those on the quest. It also denies the very real [i:d791dfe674]power imbalance [/i:d791dfe674] that exists between spiritual teachers and seekers.
The 'no-victims' stance gives powerholders an easy ride. It gives themthe pleasures of power and allows them to reject the responsiblity of power and instead shifts the responsiblity onto the student, the underling.
This 'no-victims' stance enables the powerholder to deny that he or she is accountable for using his or her techniques and power in manner that is skillful and benevolent. To say 'There are no victims' denies the possiblity that harm can be done, even by teachers with good intentions. And it denies that there is an [i:d791dfe674]ethos of care [/i:d791dfe674]that healers and teachers are morally accountable to.
There are various there-are- no-victims' arguments. To claim there are no victims appears to empower seekers but actually sets them up for a hard fall, because if anything goes wrong, the students are at fault and the teacher, the powerholder is held blameless.
The no-victims-fallacy throws the already vulnerable seeker to the wolves.
Those who favoring this argument contend that it insults and infantalizes seekers when we suggest that they are vulnerable to exploitation and deserve
(1) protection fom abuse
and
(2) education and accurate information so seekers can learn discernment skills (aka develop street smarts)
And denying there is such a thing as betrayal and victimization can be a way for some to deny that they've been betrayed or victimized. They may try to shame others into silence because their attempts to bear witness threaten to activate unbearable repressed pain. Some may argue that a willingness to endure (or at least rationalize) abuse is the sign of a real disciple and that anyone who has misgivings is self indulgent.
Many of us already dread we are weak, so we may fall victim to this [i:d791dfe674]spiritual machismo [/i:d791dfe674]line of reasoning, and not see that it rationalizes cold hearted indifference to those harmed by spiritual abuse.
A very good way to test whether your portion of the spiritual scene is genuinely caring or covertly cruel is to find out whether they've bought into various forms of the 'no-victims' argument and whether they EVER acknowledge that spiritual teachers are accountable for responsibly using the power that they do indeed command as top dogs in a power imbalance that is real--and highly powerful.
Another good test is to tell people about the work of Stanley Milgram (the Obedience to Authority experiments) and Zimbardo (The Stanford Prison Experiment.) People who equate spirituality with escaping from the human condition and becoming special will dislike being told about Milgram and Zimbardo. They will insist that they and their teacher are too special, too highly evolved to ever succumb to the processes Milgram and Zimbardo identified.
If anyone cannot deal with the humbling implications of what Milgram and Zimbardo discovered about the way humans (even bright Stanford University students)behave when placed in extreme power imbalances--they will have great difficulty identifying potentially hazardous spiritual teachers and groups.
It is worth noting that persons who like to prey on children often use flattery and forms of false empowerment. They will seek to exploit a youngster's natural craving to seek independance from his or her family, by flattering the child, by treating that child as a grown up, and hint that the parents efforts to protect the child (curfew, call home before dark) are insulting.
This flattery seduces the child away from the genuine protection offered by parents and into the false empowerment offered by the predator who sets the child up for exploitation by denying that there is any such thing as exploitation because the predator and child are peers.
Spiritual seduction works the same way and some social scenes appear to have mindsets that are not intentionally cultic but serve as platforms on which cultic recruitment and indoctrination can readily take place.
Saddest of all, well intended advice from the no-victims stance ('stop wallowing in your victim mindset!')--often delays healing and shames injured persons into silence.
**[b:d791dfe674]The only person who can tell whether you've become s'tuck in the victim mindset' is someone who cares about your welfare, knows you very well and has ZERO investment in a particular guru or spiritual scene.[/b:d791dfe674]
A seeker needs to know how to tell whether he or she is in a part of the spiritual scene that is covertly cruel, denies and despises the vulnerability of the human condition and is not really spiritual at all.
A very good way to test for this is study how a social scene responds when someone tries to describe whether a guru has harmed them.