WHO CAN GO BACK TO GODHEAD?
Posted by:
just-googling
()
Date: September 18, 2006 07:46PM
WHO IS ELIGIBLE TO GO BACK TO GODHEAD? [/color:53d986e771]
According to Siddha, absolutely NOBODY!
CHRISTIANS[/color:53d986e771]?: No chance! Because they believe that Jesus died for their sins and "THEY USE HIM AS A DOORMAT" God is not very happy with them and said "TO HELL WITH THEM ALL".
HINDUS[/color:53d986e771]?: Nope. "I'M FROM INDIA - I KNOW KRISHNA" .... Sorry!
JEWS[/color:53d986e771]: Apparently they crucified Jesus, so no way (and I thought it was the Romans who crucified Jesus).
ISKCON DEVOTEES[/color:53d986e771]?: Sorry, guys, Absolutely NOT... even though they worship Krishna, Siddha said "THAT'S NOT KRISHNA, THAT'S AN IMAGINARY KRISHNA"
SIDDHA'S DISCIPLES[/color:53d986e771]?: "A**HOLES" "RASCALS"
SIDDHA'S PERSONAL SERVANTS[/color:53d986e771]?: They can't even cook a dish good enough for their master, so no way. And those guys who turned up the air conditioner to full blast - to the hellish planets, you demons.
***NOTE: All words in quotation marks were spoken by Siddha as far as I can remember.
:?
It seems that the only person eligible to go back to Godhead is SIDDHA HIMSELF...
But as Jesus once said, that it was difficult for a rich man to get into the Kingdom of God, maybe that counts Siddha out as well?
(I wonder if owning a few mansions, a TV recording studio, a chain of health food stores, traveling by private jet, and having many, many servants is classed as a rich man?)
According to Siddha, absolutely NOBODY!
CHRISTIANS[/color:53d986e771]?: No chance! Because they believe that Jesus died for their sins and "THEY USE HIM AS A DOORMAT" God is not very happy with them and said "TO HELL WITH THEM ALL".
HINDUS[/color:53d986e771]?: Nope. "I'M FROM INDIA - I KNOW KRISHNA" .... Sorry!
JEWS[/color:53d986e771]: Apparently they crucified Jesus, so no way (and I thought it was the Romans who crucified Jesus).
ISKCON DEVOTEES[/color:53d986e771]?: Sorry, guys, Absolutely NOT... even though they worship Krishna, Siddha said "THAT'S NOT KRISHNA, THAT'S AN IMAGINARY KRISHNA"
SIDDHA'S DISCIPLES[/color:53d986e771]?: "A**HOLES" "RASCALS"
SIDDHA'S PERSONAL SERVANTS[/color:53d986e771]?: They can't even cook a dish good enough for their master, so no way. And those guys who turned up the air conditioner to full blast - to the hellish planets, you demons.
***NOTE: All words in quotation marks were spoken by Siddha as far as I can remember.
:?
It seems that the only person eligible to go back to Godhead is SIDDHA HIMSELF...
But as Jesus once said, that it was difficult for a rich man to get into the Kingdom of God, maybe that counts Siddha out as well?
(I wonder if owning a few mansions, a TV recording studio, a chain of health food stores, traveling by private jet, and having many, many servants is classed as a rich man?)
WHO CAN GO BACK TO GODHEAD?
Posted by:
whitemoon
()
Date: September 22, 2006 10:23PM
Well, according to Siddha, none of us even scratch the surface of qualification ...
but, it is a very good question ...
everyone seems to have the answer according to their own scribes of what is right and wrong ...
but we all know that according to Siddha, we will never get there ...
but
You can try ... by:
eating vegetarian food
chanting a zillion rounds everyday on your beads
abstaining from intercourse unless for the purpose of procreating children
not drinking
not doing drugs
not gambling
and entering into a loving relationship with some mysterious blue god called Krishna who plays with the cows, drinks yoghurt (when he is not stealing it in playful transcendental times)
it is damn hard work to find this real god, apparently you have to be pure enough, you get pure by eating heaps of tofu, spinach, chanting all day on beads, worshipping the most ugly deities I have ever seen (I mean really really appalling, cheap blue statues that are so called replication of the Krishna God) - some of the more wealthy devotees have slighly better looking statues but most of these statues look they come out of $2 shops and are enough to make you choke on an asparagus
wear leather sandals
own sarongs
own surf board
sell massable tables
sell herbal remedies
provide massage services
frequent places where people surf a lot
beach nearby
eat vegetarian cheese cake
eat non rennet enzyme producing vegetarian cheese
make sure your children dont mix with rest of contaminated race
try to pretend that this religion does not emanate from India
realise that christians, jews, muslims etc are not as enlightened as you are, and because their brains are incapable of yet realising the absolute truth are worshipping something that is the real thing but is in a more simplified version so that their small brains can understand it
all of these qualifications enable you to enter the Kingdom of Krishna
so thats it
but, it is a very good question ...
everyone seems to have the answer according to their own scribes of what is right and wrong ...
but we all know that according to Siddha, we will never get there ...
but
You can try ... by:
eating vegetarian food
chanting a zillion rounds everyday on your beads
abstaining from intercourse unless for the purpose of procreating children
not drinking
not doing drugs
not gambling
and entering into a loving relationship with some mysterious blue god called Krishna who plays with the cows, drinks yoghurt (when he is not stealing it in playful transcendental times)
it is damn hard work to find this real god, apparently you have to be pure enough, you get pure by eating heaps of tofu, spinach, chanting all day on beads, worshipping the most ugly deities I have ever seen (I mean really really appalling, cheap blue statues that are so called replication of the Krishna God) - some of the more wealthy devotees have slighly better looking statues but most of these statues look they come out of $2 shops and are enough to make you choke on an asparagus
wear leather sandals
own sarongs
own surf board
sell massable tables
sell herbal remedies
provide massage services
frequent places where people surf a lot
beach nearby
eat vegetarian cheese cake
eat non rennet enzyme producing vegetarian cheese
make sure your children dont mix with rest of contaminated race
try to pretend that this religion does not emanate from India
realise that christians, jews, muslims etc are not as enlightened as you are, and because their brains are incapable of yet realising the absolute truth are worshipping something that is the real thing but is in a more simplified version so that their small brains can understand it
all of these qualifications enable you to enter the Kingdom of Krishna
so thats it
WHO CAN GO BACK TO GODHEAD?
Posted by:
just-googling
()
Date: September 24, 2006 12:40PM
Quote
whitemoon
Well, according to Siddha, none of us even scratch the surface of qualification ...
but, it is a very good question ...
everyone seems to have the answer according to their own scribes of what is right and wrong ...
but we all know that according to Siddha, we will never get there ...
but
You can try ... by:
eating vegetarian food
chanting a zillion rounds everyday on your beads
abstaining from intercourse unless for the purpose of procreating children
not drinking
not doing drugs
not gambling
and entering into a loving relationship with some mysterious blue god called Krishna who plays with the cows, drinks yoghurt (when he is not stealing it in playful transcendental times)
I think the formula can be written down something like this:
Number of rounds chanted during the lifetime (minus those while on the crapper, or while dozing, of course)... minus the number of hamburgers eaten in the lifetime, minus the square root of the number of orgasms experienced (plus the number of children you have begot), multiplied by the amount of money donated to Prabhupad Number 2* (expressed in US dollars) and all this expressed as the logarithm of your desire to enjoy the material world, plus what you are thinking of at the time of death...
SCORE:
95-100 - Krishna loka! 8)
80-100 - Heavenly planets for a very, very long time. :)
1-79 - Come back to the material world and suffer accordingly. :o
0 - Minus numbers - Take birth as a dinosaur and experience getting eaten by a Tyrannosaurus for millions of lifetimes - to teach you that this world is NOT a place of enjoyment. :x
:P
* money donated to Prabhupad Number 1 to be divided by 10.
:roll:
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